Angustia Del Amante
by icyfire
Summary: Victoria announces that she no longer loves Zorro. Diego is heartbroken, but is everything as it seems?
1. The Announcement

"Angustia Del Amante" means the "Lover's Heartache"

"Angustia Del Amante" means the "Lover's Heartache".

This story was the first "long" story that I ever did. I aimed for fifty pages, did eighty, and was thrilled that I could do it. However, over time, I improved as a writer (or I'd like to think I've improved). Reading over the old version, I winced at all the mistakes. I had to redo it, and as I edited, parts of the story--especially the ending--begged for me to rewrite. So I did, and found this story approaching one hundred and twenty pages. Hopefully, it is a better story for it.

I must thank Carrie and Kathy. They helped make this story better with all their wonderful help. However, all remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone!

Rating: PG13 for consensual, non-martial relations. They take place off-screen, so to speak. :)

Summary: Victoria announces that she no longer loves Zorro. Diego is heartbroken, but is everything as it seems?

Disclaimer: I do not own them except in my imagination. I make no profit from them except enjoyment and feedback from readers. :)

ZZZ

Victoria's laughter, full of joy, rang out over the de la Vega _hacienda_.  The sound caused all of the de la Vega guests to smile.  Laughter could be a rare commodity in the territory.  Life was hard in this area of the world, a place that could barely be called civilized.  In Los Angeles, joy was further subjugated by the tyranny of the _Alcalde_. A spontaneous sound of delight made anyone smile, but it was who was laughing that brought the greatest sense of contentment to _Don_ Alejandro and his guests.  They all loved the beautiful tavern owner, whose passion and kindness were legendary; so her joy was their own.  The mood of everyone at the party, except for three, lightened.

Diego fought the urge to frown darkly in Victoria's direction.  Normally, her beautiful laughter brought a smile of joy to his lips, but tonight it filled him with seething jealousy.  He had been looking forward to spending some time with her this evening, even if only as a friend.  Instead, he had barely had a chance to say hello, and his gut had stayed clenched tight since she arrived.  

The moment she had walked through the door, she began flirting and laughing with _Don_ Rafael, and he hated it.  He tried to reassure himself that it was just harmless flirting, but that was proving to be impossible.  Something was different about her tonight.  Truth be told, she was smiling and flirting with all of the men present tonight, except for his father and himself.  She was acting like a lady looking for a man.  Victoria, who had been courted since she turned fourteen, stopped all flirting the first year after his return home from Spain.  Having found the man she wanted in Zorro, she remained loyal to him, even though they had such little time together.

_Why am I being so paranoid all of a sudden?_ Diego angrily asked himself.  It was a well-known fact throughout the community that Victoria's heart belonged to the masked outlaw.  Which meant her heart belonged to Diego.  He knew it, even if no one else in the entire _pueblo_, including her, did.  Once, he had worried that she would not be able to love boring Diego, but he chose to believe her reassurances.  On the day she accepted his marriage proposal, she told him that Zorro's heart beat within the man behind the mask, so she would love that man as well.  He believed her.

Now, it looked as if she had decided Zorro was not the one she wanted.  Tonight, she especially seemed to find _Don_ Rafael attractive and interesting.  She was definitely finding his jokes amusing!

"Diego, you look as if your worst enemy, instead of me, is standing in front of you," Maria de Corazon said to the frowning de la Vega.  A lovely lady, she had only recently moved into the area with her father.  They owned _Don_ Emilio's old _rancho_.  After _Don_ Emilio's attempt at stealing Mendoza's inheritance, the _caballero_ had never been accepted in the community again.  He eventually left the area, leaving an overseer to manage the property.  Maria's father, visiting the area from Santa Barbara, fell in love with the people and the land.  He had paid _Don_ Emilio a high price for his _rancho_, but he often said he would gladly pay twice the amount again.

Diego forced himself to stop thinking about Victoria.  So, she was flirting.  Harmless flirting and her cool responses to him in the last week did not mean there was a problem in their relationship.  True, she had not even bothered to walk out of the tavern when he took in those three bandits yesterday, but she had been busy.  _She had never been too busy before to get a moment with Zorro,_ Diego thought darkly.  If there were a problem though, Victoria would tell him.  His ladylove was not a shy _señorita_.  Confronting Zorro, if she was offended or hurt by anything he did, would not be a problem for her.

"I'm sorry, Maria.  I was thinking about a recent article I read about uniformitarianism," Diego lied smoothly.  As a child and young man, he had always been strictly honest.  The existence of Zorro taught him the art of hiding his true feelings and thoughts.  Only with Felipe could he share them.  

Maria smiled, and Diego returned it.  She was a beautiful and kind neighbor, and something of a kindred spirit as well, being the first person in Los Angeles who understood Diego's passion for books and science.  "Yes, it does seem to be becoming the favorite theory among geologists," she agreed, obviously eager to discuss the subject.  Diego spent the rest of the night debating the issue with her.  For a little while, he was able to forget his worries about Victoria.  Almost.

***

Later that night, after all the guests finally left to go home, Diego and his father sat quietly in the library.  Alejandro watched as his son sipped on a glass of wine, obviously lost in deep thought.  "What's wrong, my son?" he asked.  

It was a rare occasion that Diego allowed himself a glass of any alcohol, including wine.  He usually claimed he had no taste for it, but _Don _Alejandro knew better.  Diego began drinking wine when he was a small child, and it had only been upon his return from Spain that he lost the taste for it.  "Why?" was a question only Diego could answer.  Waiting for his son's response, Alejandro sighed.  It was only another part of himself that Diego kept closed away from him.  _My son has too many secrets from me_, he thought sadly.  "What's wrong?"

Alejandro watched as Diego finally focused on him, giving himself a mental shake before smiling.  Alejandro noted that the expression was forced.  The curve of his lips did not match the pain in his eyes.  "Why nothing's wrong, Father.  What ever gave you the idea that something was?"  His son's voice held a note a false cheer.

_Don _Alejandro lay back farther in his chair, resting after the long day, forcing his muscles to relax.  Ever since Gilberto had died, Alejandro felt like he was walking through enemy territory every time he talked to Diego.  Having finally realized how little he knew his son, it saddened him to see that Diego apparently liked it that way.  "The biggest sign is the horrible frown on your face.  The second sign is that you're so deep in thought that you didn't notice Felipe come in to say goodnight."  _Don _Alejandro saw the small flinch of surprise.  _Good_, he thought.  _He needs to be aware of how lost in thought he has been most of the night_.  Poor Maria had been the only one able to engage him in any kind of conversation.

"Finally, you're drinking wine.  It's probably the first glass you've touched in months.  You've lost your taste for it, remember?"  Alejandro gently taunted his son.  _Open up to me, Diego.  Tell me what is bothering you so much.  I'm your father.  We should be closer than this_, Alejandro thought, desperately hoping for a connection with his son tonight.

Diego looked down at his glass of wine, as if he was seeing it for the first time.  He set it down precisely on the table beside his chair.  Leaning back, his eyes focused on his father for a moment.  "I'm sorry, Father.  I know I haven't been a good host tonight."  He gave another forced smile.  "I'm afraid I've been lost in my studies again.  _Señorita_ Maria and I were discussing--"

"Diego," Alejandro interrupted.  "You can tell me to mind my own business, but please don't lie to me."  He heard the sadness in his own voice.  When had he lost the relationship he once shared with Diego?  They had always been close, even before Elena died.  What had he done to push his son away?

At the moment, Diego was looking at him in shock.  Diego's quick mind struggled to answer the accusation.  Alejandro watched the quick responses--thought and disposed of--rush across his son's face.  He sighed.  "I'd rather be told to mind my own business, Diego," he repeated with a sad smile on his lips.  "Remember that, please."  Standing up, he finished his glass of wine.  "Excuse me, but I find myself growing tired, and I must get up early in the morning."  Turning, he left his son alone in the library.  Diego said nothing to his retreating back.

***

The next morning, Alejandro arose to find his son going to bed.  The haggard look told Alejandro that Diego spent the entire night in the library, contemplating whatever was bothering him.  _My poor son looks haunted_, Alejandro thought, as he watched the hunched form of Diego walk to his room.  _I just wish I knew him well enough-- _Alejandro shook his head, forcing his thoughts away from Diego.  There were a hundred tasks to complete today, and he needed to focus on them.  He could think about healing his relationship with Diego later.

***

"You look tired, _Don_ Alejandro," Victoria told him that afternoon, as she set a bowl of _gazpacho_ in front of him.  After a hard morning's work, he had decided to eat lunch at her tavern.  After all, he doubted Diego was awake to share the meal with him, and he needed to be in the _pueblo _anyway for business.  

Victoria was right.  He was tired, having ridden with his _vaqueros_, helped patch a broken fence, watched a foal be born, balanced all of his accounts, and met with his lawyer, _Don_ Armando.  They had arranged the meeting last week, since Alejandro's vast estate needed some legal work taken care of by its owner.  That morning, with _Don_ Armando's help, Alejandro busily arranged and rearranged his various investments and handled some problems at his other _ranchos_.  

"It's been a long morning, Victoria," Alejandro finally answered her.  It had been a long morning, filled with work.  A stubborn part of him wanted to say it was necessary, but he knew, in his heart, it had all been busy work.  He simply did not want to think about his problems with Diego, the most important person in the world to him.  His son, while often the cause of frustration, was the reason he had kept going after Elena's death.  Diego was his pride and his joy, and he did not know him.  

Alejandro forced himself to focus on Victoria.  It was rude to ignore her so he could brood.  "And we did stay up late," he told her with a gentle smile.  Victoria Escalante was the daughter of one his closest friends.  He had watched over, hugged her when she cried, and beamed with pride as she grew into a beautiful, young lady.  Alejandro only wished his friends could have lived long enough to see what a wonderful woman she had become.  

Victoria looked down at her hands.  "Yes, the party was wonderful, _Don_ Alejandro," she said with enthusiasm.  Alejandro found himself frowning.  Diego was not the only person in the _pueblo_ faking his emotions.  Victoria's voice was too high, and her eyes refused to meet his as she talked about the gathering at his _hacienda_.  "I had a great time dancing, and I found out what a _charming_ man _Don_ Rafael is," she continued, her words almost tripping over one another in an effort to get out of her mouth.  

"Yes, I noticed how much you enjoyed his company last night.  I kept thinking that Zorro would be jealous," he teased her.  He knew what she would say to his gentle banter:  Zorro would never have reason to be jealous of her affections, because her heart belonged to him.

"Yes, I guess he would," was what Victoria actually answered, her voice sad as she slowly sat down across from him.  _Don _Alejandro kept waiting for her to say something more, some glib comment, but her face said she was lost in her own thoughts.  Finally looking up at him, she smiled a brave smile, one that reminded Alejandro of Diego's from last night.  However, _Don _Alejandro was not concerned about her smile, because her eyes frightened him too much.  They were the eyes of a lost person who knew home was never to be found again.

"What Zorro thinks doesn't matter to me anymore, _Don_ Alejandro," she suddenly proclaimed, her voice strong.  The entire tavern silenced as the other customers heard her words.  Victoria was giving up on Zorro?  An unimaginable thought to everyone there!  Their love was the romance of the _pueblo_.  All the lovely _señoritas_ talked about it with deep sighs and starry eyes.  All of the _señoras_, when they discussed it, whispered about hopes and dreams they had as young ladies.  Some of the _señoras_ wished their happiness on Victoria, while others hoped her Prince did not have the feet of clay that theirs had.  "I've realized that I've only felt an infatuation all these years.  I'm ready to find a real man to love me, someone whose life isn't consumed with a quest," Victoria declared, leaning over the table.  The crowd gasped in surprised at her words and her confident tone.  _Don _Alejandro was the only one who knew her well enough to hear the doubt, pain, and fear hidden in her voice.

"Victoria, I'm not sure what happened--" he began, wanting to reassure her that any fight could be solved if the couple was willing work at it.  He and Elena had their fair share of conflict during their wonderful marriage.

She looked him in the eyes, and he saw in their depths a desperation to convince him of the truth in her words, even if there was no truth to be found in them.  "Nothing has happened, _Don_ Alejandro.  We did not fight or anything; I just realized I didn't love him anymore."


	2. Diego Finds Out

Unable to think of anything to say, Alejandro felt as if he were in a dream world, a world filled with strange images and soun

Unable to think of anything to say, Alejandro felt as if he were in a dream world, a world filled with strange images and sounds.  Standing, Victoria gave him a smile that broke his heart.  He had seen similar smiles on innocent men preparing to go into their first battle.  "Victoria, I--I'm here for you.  You know that, don't you?"  

She nodded, and he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes that she tried to hide from him.  "Of course, you've always been here for me, but I'm a grown woman now.  I need to face some facts about my life on my own."  Alejandro, feeling as if he had been punched in the stomach, watched her walk away from him, her back stiff and straight.  It was then that he realized he was being pushed out of his "daughter's" life also.  She was hiding from him just like Diego.

In his pain, he finally began to watch Victoria with a critical eye.  He saw that she had lost weight, something he had not noticed until now.  Recently, his attention had been on his jagged relationship with Diego, or on thoughts meant to keep him from thinking about it.  He had failed to pay attention to Victoria, as he should have.  If he had, he would have seen that she was too pale and withdrawn.  He would have known in a heartbeat that her enjoyment of the party had been an act. He had not noticed.

"I feel as though I've walked into a funeral parlor instead of a tavern," his friend, Vicente de Corazon, greeted _Don _Alejandro.  The tired and worried _caballero_ looked up to smile at his new friend.  Vicente had not lived in the territory long, but Alejandro found him to be an honorable and fair man.  A deep friendship was forming between the two of them.

Alejandro was unsurprised to see Vicente's daughter, Maria, with him.  Genteel women did not often come into Los Angeles now, since it was under strict military law.  Los Angeles had long ago ceased to be a place where the ladies felt safe walking without an escort.  The _caballero_'s wives and daughters sometimes came into the tavern for lunch, but never after the afternoon _siesta_.  The only exceptions were when the tavern was being used as the local theater.

"_Hola_, Vicente, Maria," he greeted them warmly.  Maria was an interesting woman.  Her color was pale for a Spanish woman.  "It's the half-English blood of her mother's," Vicente explained one night.  She was reserved, but friendly.  Extremely intelligent, especially for a woman, she did not bother to hide it.  Alejandro's head usually hurt after listening to her and Diego talk about subjects that he could not begin to understand.  He thought she might have a small _tendre _for his son, but Alejandro was not sure.  While she would probably make Diego an excellent wife, Alejandro was starting to believe Diego had no intentions of ever marrying.

"Hello, _Don_ Alejandro," Maria said civilly, but then she was always courteous.  _Too polite for my taste_, Alejandro thought.  He preferred women with passion in them, like his Elena or Victoria.  "Polite" women were often what men of his station desired for a wife, but he would rather have a spouse who would scream that he was wrong, instead of one who would politely freeze him to death with a look, or in their bed, if he made a mistake.  Maria might make Diego an excellent wife, but the hope in Alejandro's heart was for Diego to marry a lady like Victoria, someone who could provide the fire and enthusiasm he needed in his life.

"If you will excuse me," Maria said with a smile, bringing Alejandro's thoughts back to now instead of the possible future.  "I want to speak to Victoria for a minute."  After gently bowing her head, she walked into the kitchen.

Vicente sat down across from his friend.  "Alejandro, would you mind telling me what is going on?  I walk into this tavern to find it quiet as a mouse, and now everyone is talking all at once.  That means one of two things--First, I was the subject of the gossip, or second, I just missed hearing some stunning rumor."

_Don _Alejandro grimaced, and then smiled sadly.  "It was number two, I'm afraid.  You just haven't given us anything good to talk about I'm afraid," he teased Vicente, even though he himself did not feel like laughing.

"No, I let all my skeletons out of the closet when I moved in," Vicente agreed, his voice pleasant.  Alejandro was one of the few people in the _pueblo_ who knew how much he cared about his estranged wife, but everyone knew that their separation was the reason for his move to Los Angeles.  The information about an estranged wife had quickly made the route, but since Vicente was so open about the subject, it had died a quick and painless death.

"Victoria," Alejandro began and then sighed.  He still could not understand what was happening with the people he loved.  The way his closest relationships were going, he would not be surprised to find out that Felipe could really hear and had been hiding the fact for years!  Fortunately, Felipe still appeared to be the open and honest young man that he had always been.

"Victoria just declared her relationship with Zorro over," Alejandro admitted.  Vicente's jaw dropped opened.  He blinked a couple of times before closing it.

"Wow, that is a stupefying piece of news," Vicente said in an almost whisper.  Even though he had only lived in the _pueblo_ for a few months, he knew all the details about the beautiful _señorita_ and her masked beau.

"Stupefying?  I guess that describes it," Alejandro agreed.  His friend's odd turn of phrase often amused the people of the _pueblo._

"Describes what?" Diego asked politely as he joined them.  He was dressed in his usual outfit of blue pants and white shirt.  Alejandro felt pride looking at his son.  He knew Diego was handsome.  After all, he inherited the looks of his mother's family.  

He was also incredibly intelligent.  There were a few nights, while lying alone in his bed, Alejandro admitted that Diego's mind was being wasted here in California.  Looking out at the moonlight, he sometimes agreed with the tiny voice that insisted Diego should be in Spain where his wonderful brain could be used to its fullest potential.  However, in the warm light of day, he knew that he could never again bear the separation from his son.

Finally, Diego's manners were impeccable, and he was well liked, from the lowest lancer to the snobbish _caballero_.  _If only--Stop with the "if onlys"!  It's probably--No, it **is** the reason you drove him away!  Enjoy the man he is, instead of the man you want him to be!_ Alejandro commanded himself.

"The latest gossip, _amigo_," Vicente answered when _Don_ Alejandro did not.  "It appears that our lovely tavern owner has fallen out of love with her Fox," he said, his voice full of enjoyment in sharing the gossip.  Hearsay was a way of life--and one of the few forms of entertainment--in the small _pueblos_ of California.

Alejandro saw his son pale.  "What?" Diego stuttered, his voice weak.

"She told me that she'd only been feeling infatuation for him," Alejandro answered, wearing a frown as he noticed how sickly Diego looked.  Perhaps he should ask Dr. Hernandez to look at him.  Diego, a boy who had never been sick, had grown to be a man who was often ill.

"You must be mistaken, Father," Diego protested.  Alejandro was surprised by the fear he heard in his son's voice.  Diego's fists were clenched, and his eyes were focused on the curtain that divided the kitchen away from the rest of the tavern.

"No, I'm afraid not.  The whole place heard her Diego.  She's decided that her relationship with Zorro is over," Alejandro said, trying to comfort his son.  Why was Diego so upset by this development?

"She's been in love with Zorro for years, Father.  She promised to wait for him until the mask came off!  She said she would m--" Diego suddenly stopped speaking, choking off his own words.  He looked down at his fists and took a deep breath.  Slowly, his fingers opened up, and he began to breathe normally again.

Alejandro was sure he had been about to reveal information that he had never intended to.  He realized it was possible that Victoria had confided in his son over the years.  After all, they had been friends since they were children, and were close in age.  Maybe she had revealed secrets to him that she had never revealed to anyone else, so his upset might be because Victoria had not talked to him about her new feelings before sharing them with the entire _pueblo_.

"She has apparently broken off her relationship with him, son.  That's all I can tell you," Alejandro told him.  Diego's shoulders flinched at the words, but his eyes remained focused on his hands.  

"I wonder if he knows," Vicente said with a laugh, as he waved at another _caballero_ sitting across from them.  He knew how gossip was in these small _pueblo_s.  All too often everyone knew your business before you did.

"I wonder," Diego said, pronouncing each syllable carefully.  Vicente looked over at Diego surprised.  Now, even he could hear the anger in the younger man's voice.

"I'm sure Victoria would talk to him first," Alejandro said in Victoria's defense.

Wearing a large smile, Maria walked out the kitchen.  Alejandro was glad to know that she and Victoria were getting to be friends.  Victoria found it difficult to bond with many of the young ladies in the _pueblo_.  After all, they were all long married by now, but even if Victoria had married at the proper age, she still would not have made many friends.  She was too outspoken, too unconcerned about convention, for most of the women in Los Angeles.  However, Maria joined her in shunning convention.  She did not care if the man she was talking to knew that she was more intelligent than he was, and she usually shared her opinions about many subjects.  She just used more discretion than Victoria.

Alejandro saw her smile brighten and become shyer as she spotted Diego.  So, she did have some feeling for his son.  He hoped Diego realized it soon, and quickly handled the issue before the young lady's heart was broken.  Many _señoritas_ over the years found their hearts taken by the de la Vega heir, but none managed to capture his.  At least Diego now had an heir, since he was in the process of adopting Felipe.  While _Don_ Armando was here from Santa Pablo, Diego was to finish signing some of the necessary paperwork today.  Alejandro needed to ask him how it went when they had some time alone.  Diego's adoption of Felipe had only been discussed between his family and Victoria.  No one else in the _pueblo_ knew about it, yet.

"Hello, _Don_ Diego!  It's good seeing you again," Maria said with that same sweet, shy smile on her face.  

Alejandro watched as years of conditioning took over his son.  Diego was furious, but he was a _caballero_ raised to be polite to a lady.  He forced himself to return her smile and greeting.  "It's _always_ good to see _you_," Diego said as he bowed over her outstretched hand.  Alejandro blinked, having always thought that his son did not have a romantic bone in his body.  "That dress, like its owner, is a work of art," Diego complimented Maria.

Vicente eyes widened and his jaw dropped open again at hearing Diego say such a gallant statements.  It did not take long for new residents of Los Angeles to realize Diego de la Vega's passions were reserved for his books and science.  Learning was the only true passion anyone knew he had.

Maria blushed.  "My maid was the seamstress.  S-she's incredibly talented," she stuttered.

"Ah, but even the best works of art must have the proper backdrop to show their beauty.  With only the proper setting can a work of art sparkle, and that gown is a wonderful enhancement for your beauty," the man who looked like Diego continued.  Alejandro was beginning to wonder if his hearing was going, or if perhaps this really was a dream.  After nine years, his son was showing himself to have a way with words.

Maria's entire face was bright red, but she looked pleased by the compliments.  "Th-Thank you, _Don_ Diego.  Y-Your to-too k-kind," she managed to say.

"To speak the truth is not kindness," the new, gallant Diego replied.  Alejandro was aware of several men at near-by tables avidly listening to the conversation.  Dinnertime in the _pueblo_ would be an occasion of lively discussions tonight.  Victoria falling out of love with Zorro, and _Don_ Diego apparently finding a woman to love, or at least a woman who brought out something in him no other woman had managed to do, would be the main topics.  

Alejandro barely managed to keep his own jaw from dropping.  Diego could be romantic?  He would never have believed it, but then until a few months ago, he would not have believed his son could handle a sword, either.  It was simply another secret Diego had chosen not to share with him.

"I want to shop in the plaza, and I was hoping you would escort me," Maria said shyly, barely looking up at Diego.  She was finding her shoes fascinating today.  "Father's willing to go with me, but I know I'll be hearing sighs and groans as I walk from vendor to vendor." She smiled warmly at her father.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but shopping for fun is for the young.  I did it when I was courting your mother, but--" Vicente shrugged.

Diego stood absolutely still as he watched the kitchen's entrance.  Victoria remained hidden away by the curtain.  "Perhaps it would be for the best," he whispered before returning his attention to Maria.  "A lady should be able to enjoy her shopping, so I would be honored to escort you, my lady," he said in a proper little voice and sweeping bow.  

Accepting his offered arm, Maria laughed.  "Thank you, Diego.  I really appreciate the sacrifice," she said with a giggle as they walked out the door.  Alejandro saw the longing in her eyes as she looked up at his son.

"An afternoon spent in your presence is an honor and not a sacrifice," Diego replied.  _Alcalde_ DeSoto, walking into the tavern to order his usual light lunch, stopped to stare at the departing de la Vega.  He glanced at Alejandro, and then looked back at Diego.  Shaking his head, he walked over to an empty table.  Alejandro understood what the man was feeling himself.  It was easier to believe yourself imagining things than believing Diego was a born flirt.

Glancing towards the kitchen, Alejandro noticed Victoria.  To his surprise, she stood by the entrance watching the departing couple.  The look on her face was disturbing to him.  He saw a mix of fear, longing, and anguish that made no sense to him.  He looked back at the door his son just exited and then back at Victoria.  Excusing himself from Vicente, he walked over to where she was standing.

"Victoria," he said softly, not wanting to frighten her.  She was so lost in thought that Alejandro knew she had not noticed him walking towards her.

She looked at him and tried to smile.  She struggled to make the muscles in her face obey, but Alejandro watched as she lost the battle.  "Can I get you something, _Don_ Alejandro?"  She managed to put on her business-owner's face.

"I just noticed you looked unhappy," he said gently, hoping she would tell him why seeing Diego leave with Maria caused her so much pain.

Victoria's smile was sad and wistful.  "It's hard when you feel so lonely to enjoy seeing your friends find love.  I'm happy for him, but—" She remained silent for several heartbeats.  Crossing her arms, she asked, "Do you think he will really be happy with her?" 

Alejandro smiled at the question, understanding her apprehension.  Diego often exasperated Victoria as much as he did his father, but she was genuinely fond of him.  Even in her heartbreak, she could find it within herself to be concerned about him.  "I think so.  They have a lot in common.  To be truthful, she seems to be the first lady that has ever loved him for what he is instead of who he is," he answered truthfully, trying to reassure her.  Her flinch of pain surprised him.  He wanted to ask her a question; he just did not know what the question was.

"She's in love with him, because he is the kind of man who can appreciate knowledge," Victoria said quietly, sounding like a schoolteacher quoting from a textbook.

Alejandro nodded slowly, wondering why he felt like Victoria was talking in a foreign tongue.  "You and I both know that Diego is too busy living life through his books.  He takes no risks!  I admit she isn't the type of wife I would choose for him--I'd want someone who could inspire him to action--but she seems to love him.  Her gentle nature compliments Diego's well.  She will make him a good wife, if he decides to ask her," he continued.

Victoria laughed, but it sounded hollow to Alejandro.  "Oh, he'll make that decision!  If you will excuse me, I don't feel well.  I'm going to leave Isabel in charge of the tavern while I go lie down."  Alejandro watched, with both confusion and concern in his heart, as she talked to her helper briefly before slowly climbing the steps to her room.


	3. A New Love

Late that night, Diego let out a sigh as he walked into his family's hacienda

Late that night, Diego let out a sigh as he walked into his family's _hacienda_.  It was a sound of rage, pain, and confusion.  Today had been one of the worst days of his life!  It began horribly.  Then, it started to worsen.  After spending the entire night brooding about both Victoria and his father, he finally went to bed as the sun rose.  He had barely managed to get a goodnight through his tight throat as he passed by his father, a man he knew desperately wanted to know the truth. 

Diego understood that his father was upset because he had hidden his ability with the sword.  Actually, he knew his father was more upset that he was still denying that ability.  He had been close to telling his father after they brought Gilberto's body back into the plaza.  He had been close twice, but he had been unable to let the confession pass his lips.  It should be so easy.  "I am Zorro."  Four bloody syllables could change his entire life, but they refused to be said.  Alejandro knew he was lying when he said fear brought out an ability he had not been aware of before, and he had known that Diego was lying when he denied any knowledge about what Gilberto was going to say before he was shot and killed by the _alcalde_.  It had left their relationship strained, to put it mildly.

As for Victoria, he spent the night not knowing what to think, or even if he should be worrying.  At the party she had flirted and laughed at other men's jokes, in a way that he had not seen in years.  As the night surrounded him, he tried telling himself it was harmless flirting, but he could not get himself to really believe it.  He had known that she was acting odd before the party, but he assumed she was upset with something besides him.  Even to Diego, she had denied that she was even upset, so he had given her room, understanding that sometimes a person just needed the space to work out their own problems.  She would tell him when she wanted him to know.

But she had not told him.  As Zorro, the last time he saw her had been in the tavern's kitchen.  Using it as an exit, as he so often did, he found her beside the fireplace with her back turned to him, instead of waiting for him by the door as usual.  When she finally turned to look at him, the tight expression on her face froze him in his place, unable to utter a word.  They stood that way for what seemed to be forever, but in reality was only seconds.  She turned her head towards the entranceway when she heard the noise of the entering lancers.  "The _alcalde_'s men.  You'd better leave," she said very simply and very quietly, with none of the usual regret in her voice.  Diego's heart clinched in his chest, but he left before DeSoto caught him.  

Because of prior plans his father made with Maria and _Don_ Vicente, he had not been able to see her for two days.  He reassured himself that it was simply a bad day for her.  He tried convincing himself that her voice had not been that flat, and her face had been warmer.  He almost managed to fool himself completely until the night of the party.

So, he spent last night worrying about Victoria and his father, his mind simply running in circles, unable to make the simplest decision.  After finally falling into a troubled, exhausted sleep, it was a mere five hours later when Felipe awakened him to let him know that _Don_ Armando was close to finishing with his father, and would be waiting for him in the _pueblo_ to complete their paperwork.  The boy--no, the young man--managed to lighten Diego's mood considerably with his contagious excitement.  After years of resisting the de la Vega's pleas to adopt him, he had finally consented to the adoption.  Having agreed, he was enjoying every moment.  

Diego went to the meeting with _Don_ Armando with a light heart.  He and _Don_ Armando spent over an hour talking about Felipe and his plans for the future, since the young mane was considering a career as a lawyer.  Armando told him that he would enjoy letting Felipe be an apprentice for a few months.  That way, Felipe could see if he really would enjoy the work or not.  Diego knew that his future son would be thrilled by the offer.  

While talking to _Don_ Armando, he made two important decisions.  First, he would tell his father the truth.  _Don_ Alejandro deserved to know it.  Having only kept the truth from him to protect his father, Diego accepted the fact that the lies were now hurting him.  He would enjoy letting his father see the real him, even though the thought of it frightened him.  Having been a disappointment to his father as _Don_ Diego, he always reassured himself with the thought that he was not being himself.  If he was himself and _Don_ Alejandro was still disappointed, then there was no excuse.  He really would be a failure as a son.

The second decision he made was to confront Victoria that night as Zorro.  He would take her hostage, ride with her to their place by the river, and insist that she tell him what was wrong.  After they worked out whatever the problems were in their relationship, he would take her to the cave.  There, he would let her see the man behind the mask.  It was time for Victoria to know the truth, too.

Not knowing that everything had changed just minutes before, he walked into the tavern with a smile, planning to enjoy spending some time with his father and Victoria.  He was eager to tell them both all the details about Felipe's adoption, including the date that _Don_ Armando thought it would be completed.  He walked into the tavern happy and full of expectations, only to have his entire world collapse around him.

Thinking about the day, Diego leaned back against the door and closed his eyes.  The dull pounding behind his eyes had been there every since _Don_ Vicente spoke those horrible words:  Victoria had fallen out of love with Zorro, out of love with him.  Taking a deep breath, Diego fought back tears. Today was the end of his world.  His father had pounded that point into his brain when he said that Victoria did not love Zorro, had never loved him.  Victoria, the love of his life, announced to the world that she had never loved him.  Even after all these hours, Diego still could not believe it.

Fortunately, Diego had been in shock for those first few minutes.  Knowing himself well enough to understand that, if he had been able to respond, he would have rushed into the kitchen and demanded to know what she meant by her horrible words.  He would not have cared who would have heard him either!  If he had not been numb earlier, he would have been arrested and hung by now.  What he would have said in that kitchen would not have left Victoria, or anyone else, in any doubt about his identity.

He forced himself to stand away from the door.  His legs were incredibly weak, and he felt sick.  He briefly considered going and confronting Victoria right now, but common sense demanded that he not.  He was thankful for Maria walking out of the kitchen when she had, offering him a distraction from Victoria.  He now understood that confronting her right then, even quietly, would have only made matters worse, since he was too hurt to discuss the issues with any rationality.  Frozen inside with hot rage, he smiled, complimented Maria (or he thought he did), and took her to do her shopping.

Walking slowly past the library, Diego grimaced as he thought about the day.  It had been torture to listen to Maria prattle about various subjects as she shopped.  Fortunately, she had wanted to do most of the talking.  Thinking back, he could only hope that he had made appropriate responses.  

After completing her shopping, she had asked him to dinner.  He quickly accepted, knowing the cave and Toronado would prove too much of a temptation.  If he had been home, Zorro would have ridden into the _pueblo_ to talk to Victoria.  So, he even stayed late at the de Corazon _hacienda_ playing games, and even later to talk with _Don_ Vicente about the _alcalde_ and all his taxes. 

"Diego," he heard his father's voice quietly say from the library as he walked passed.  Another stab of pain sliced through him.  He could not face it tonight.  He could not face his father.  Slowly, he turned to face _Don _Alejandro even as his heart and mind screamed at him to mumble some excuse and escape.

"Diego?  Are you all right?" Alejandro said, standing up to walk over to him.  He put his hand on his son's shoulder, and squeezed it reassuringly.  Diego looked at his father, and felt the rest of his defenses crumble.  Reaching for his father, he hugged him tight.  Alejandro returned the hug, holding his son tight.  Diego felt his emotions calm; his father's hugs had given him comfort many times as a young boy, and he felt the same warm feeling surrounding him now as it had then.  Finally, he could breathe again.

He released his father and stepped back.  Alejandro held onto his arms.  "Diego?"

He managed to smile, barely.  Starting to reassure his father that he was fine, he saw Alejandro's face begin to fall.  Diego remembered how much he wanted his father's advice when he first began as Zorro.  He had kept his father out of his life for too long.  "I will be fine.  Really.  I don't feel like talking about it tonight.  I'm sorry, but I just need some time to work through some things, and then I'll talk to you about it.  I promise," he said to _Don_ Alejandro, looking his father straight in the eye.

Alejandro's smile was bright, as were his eyes.  At least, Diego had started to work on healing his relationship with his father.  He might be grieving about the loss of Victoria--was she truly lost?--but he was happy to be getting back to a regular footing with his father.  Alejandro nodded and took a deep breath.  "I understand." He squeezed Diego's arms again before walking away, leaving him alone in the library.

Beginning to turn to walk out of the library, Diego saw the panel in the fireplace open.  He grinned as an excited Felipe bounced out of the secret passage that was Zorro's home.  He stifled a groan when he remembered that today was supposed to have been Felipe's day.  He felt incredibly selfish for letting his troubles take that away from the young man.  

When a grinning Felipe motioned for him to walk into the cave with him, Diego desperately wanted to fall into his own bed.  He wanted to sleep deep and dreamlessly, but he had been selfish long enough.  Felipe was excited and Diego was going to enjoy it.  After all, it was not every day a man got to prepare for the "birth" of his son!

He entered the cave.  The light snack laid on the table surprised him, but confirmed for him that Felipe was indeed celebrating.  Since Diego had told him every process in great detail, Felipe knew that today signaled the next to the last stage of the adoption.  The Church, the legal guardian of Felipe, had agreed to the adoption, and Diego had signed all the requested paperwork.  Within four weeks or so, Felipe should be his son legally as well as emotionally.

Diego smiled as he sat down beside the carefully arranged table.  Picked up his glass of orange juice, he offered it up in a toast.  "To fatherhood," he said.  Diego watched many emotions flash across Felipe's face--love, acceptance, fear, and excitement.  His smile was large when he raised his own glass of juice.  

Both of them grinning like fools, they began to eat the fruit with enthusiasm.  The pitcher of orange juice quickly disappeared. Felipe held his final glass of juice up to make another toast.  Diego's heart stopped beating, and then began thumping quickly in his chest when he heard a small voice whisper, "To sonhood."  Looking at Felipe's nervous face, he decided that today was turning out to be great after all.

Diego stood on shaking legs and held open his arms.  Hugging the boy--young man--close to him, he whispered, "Felipe, I am _so_ proud of you.  You are a wonderful young man whom I'll be proud to call 'son'.  You have been a extraordinary ward and servant."  He pulled away from Felipe, holding onto his arms like his father had done to him only a few minutes before.  "I'm happy--no, I'm thrilled that you are working on your speech, but I want you to remember one thing:  You don't have to speak for me to be proud of you or for me to love you.  It will make your life much easier, and _that's_ why I'm glad."

Felipe nodded, and Diego saw the tears shimmering in his brown eyes.  "I know," he whispered.  "I'm doing this for me."

Excitement bubbling over in him, Diego again hugged his soon-to-be son.  "It's been a long day, and I think it is time for you and me to go to bed."

Felipe signed a question, and Diego looked down at his shoes.  "What happened in the _pueblo_?  I'm not sure what you mean," he denied without thought.  He really had gotten use to lying since the birth of Zorro.  _Too much lying and hiding_, Diego thought, not even sure that he knew the truth anymore.

Felipe's face twisted in anger, and Diego could hear the younger man's breath echoing in the cave.  Felipe's signed his response so quickly Diego had a hard time understanding.  "You know that something happened to me today."  He put his hand on Felipe's shoulder and looked him in the eyes.  "Felipe, don't worry about me.  Today's your day."

Felipe shook his head violently.  "No," he struggled to whisper.  "My day is the day I become your son," he answered, his voice slowly sounding firmer as he spoke.

Looking in Felipe's eyes, Diego saw that he would have no peace until he told him some reason for his--and his father's--mood.  He could lie, give some silly excuse, but Diego was tired of the lies, and Felipe had been his confidante for years.  He was also becoming a man who could face the problems of the world.  "Victoria told my father that she realized--" Diego stopped, forcing himself to take a deep breath.  He did not want to say it, did not want to make it any more real.  "She realized that she no longer loves Zorro.  She claimed it was simply infatuation all these years."

Felipe stared at him, wearing a half-grin on his face--the look of a man waiting for the punch line to a joke.  "I-I haven't talked to her myself, but somehow I believe she was serious."  Diego slowly turned, his shoulders slumped, and walked away from his future son.  He did not see the confused frown that was on the young man's face.

Felipe felt like he had been punched in the stomach.  Victoria was a beautiful lady and a smart business owner, but more importantly to him, she had always been like a mother to him.  Until this moment, he had expected her to one day _be_ his mother, having known for years that Diego planned to marry the beautiful tavern owner.  They loved each other very much, of that Felipe was sure.  He did not care what Diego _or_ Victoria said: She was in love with Diego, and had been for years.

The young man frowned suddenly as he thought about Victoria's behavior the past week.  Often in the tavern delivering fresh eggs and milk, Felipe had noticed that the beautiful _señorita_ seemed unusually jumpy.  Looking back, he could see the sadness that had been on her face.  He had not seen her smile once in the last week, not even when he walked into the tavern.

A small tear slid down his face, and he quickly wiped it away.  Hurting for _Don_ Diego, he realized his own loss.  If what Diego thought to be the truth turned out to be reality, tonight he had lost another mother.  Felipe closed his eyes to pray, just like his first mother taught him to do so long ago.

***

The next morning, Alejandro watched as his son moved food around on his plate.  "Diego," he finally said quietly, putting down his napkin on the table.  Diego glanced up at him with a dazed look in his eyes that worried _Don_ Alejandro.  "Diego, either eat or don't!  Moving it around your plate only uses energy," he instructed.  He meant for it to be teasing, but the concern in his voice kept it from being so.  Diego glanced down at his plate as if seeing it for the first time.  Then, he looked up and tried to smile, before pushing his plate away from him.

"I'm sorry.  I just don't feel very hungry this morning," he explained.  Alejandro noticed how drained his son sounded.  Leaning back in his chair, Diego stared at his glass sitting untouched on the table.  "I was thinking how life seems to have its own path, no matter how much you try to guide it to where you want to go."

The raw pain in Diego's voice stunned him.  "You make your own choices," Alejandro replied, trying to comfort his son, but unsure of the cause of the anguish.

Diego looked at him.  "Yes, you're allowed to make your own choices, but other's are free to make theirs, too.  Circumstances take your life in a direction that at one time you couldn't imagine it taking."

Alejandro shook his head, struggling to understand what his son was and was not saying.  "Diego, I don't claim to comprehend the choices you've made in your life.  Honestly, I'm not even sure I know _what_ they have been," he began.

Diego's smile was bittersweet.  His eyes again looked to the table for answers.  "No, I've not shared a lot of my decisions with you, and I'm sorry about that, but it seemed like the best thing to do at the time."

_Don_ Alejandro sat quietly for several seconds.  Finally, he leaned across the table and asked the words that had been pounding away in his brain:  "Why?  What did I do--?"

"You?"  Diego started and focused on his father again.  Leaning forward, he said, "Father, you've done nothing but be a wonderful father, a wonderful example for me to follow."  

Bebe walked out to clear the dishes from the table.  Alejandro watched as the two bantered about the meal.  He could see concern in Bebe's eyes, too.  She had been Felipe's age when she began working in the de la Vega _hacienda_, and Diego had been a toddler always getting under feet.  She adored him, but then all the servants did.  His heart had been shown many times to them all; they respected him because he always took the time to talk to them, and he really listened to what they had to say.  Alejandro wondered if his son had any idea how protective, how fiercely loyal, they were.  Somehow, he doubted it.  

After Bebe left the room, Diego stood and walked over to his father.  Placing his hand on _Don _Alejandro's shoulder, he said,  "We need to talk later.  When I feel more centered, I have a lot to tell you."  His voice cracked at the end.

Looking up at his tall, handsome son, Alejandro put his hand over Diego's and patted it.  "Good," he said with tears hidden in his voice.  "Good!  It would be good for us to talk again."

Alejandro saw his pain echoed in Diego's eyes.  However, his son actually smiled before turning to walk away from the table.  A few steps away from the table, he again stopped and turned around to look at his father.  "I'm sorry.  I forgot to tell you that I'm going to the de Corazon's _rancho_ for the day.  _Don_ Vicente invited me to go riding with him this afternoon."

Watching his son's slow movement out of the room, Alejandro remembered something he wanted to discuss.  "Diego," he called out.  Diego's surprise at the tone of his father's voice showed on his face.  He stood silently by the doorway.  "Diego, don't play with Maria's affections, please."

Diego flinched, and then gave a confused smile.  "Maria's affections?"

Alejandro smiled at his son fondly:  The young man was too often oblivious to the most obvious of facts.  "She has a _tendre_ for you, my son."

Diego's mouth dropped open.  Smiling, he shook his head.  "I think you must be mistaken, Father.  She's been a good friend, but--"

"Diego, I hear it in her voice.  I see it in her eyes.  She thinks she's in love with you.  Don't play with those affections.  If you visit her and act the 'friend', I'm afraid she will fall in love with you, son.  Be careful and aware of her feelings, Diego, or she'll start imagining your wedding day--"he warned.

"Wedding day?"  Diego laughed, but it sounded hollow.  "I thought everyone in this _pueblo_ has decided that I'm not the marrying type," he said with a catch in his voice.  "I'm sorry, Father, but I fear Maria probably finds me more of a _bore_ than a potential husband.  Don't worry, though.  I'll be careful and makes sure she knows that I consider her a friend.  I'm not looking for a wife.  Not now, at least," he whispered.

Alejandro wondered at the words, but he kept his questions to himself.  If Diego were suffering from a broken heart, he would let Alejandro know when he could talk about it.  He had said so, and Alejandro was determined to respect Diego's request for time.  Remembering how Diego behaved yesterday, he warned, "Well, make sure you don't treat her the way you did in the tavern yesterday!"

"Whatever do you mean?" he asked, a puzzled frown on his face.  Alejandro could hear the confusion in his voice.

He shook his head.  Maybe his beliefs about the lack of romance in his son had been right after all.  "Telling a woman how beautiful she is doesn't say 'I want to be friends' to a lady," he said with a grin.

Diego's jaw dropped.  "I told her that she was beautiful?"

Alejandro laughed, thinking Diego was joking.  After all, his staid son seldom even drank a glass of wine.  He definitely was not drunk yesterday afternoon, so there was no reason to think he could not remember.  "Very funny!  The whole tavern talked about the new, romantic Diego after you left."

Diego nodded slowly, his eyes distant and unfocused.  "Of course, I'll pay more attention to what I'm saying."  Walking out the front door of the _hacienda_, he left behind a concerned father.


	4. Victoria Begins To Court

A few hours later, Don Vicente roared with laughter after Diego made a droll comment

A few hours later, _Don_ Vicente roared with laughter after Diego made a droll comment.  "Diego!  You and my daughter are two of the smartest people I know.  You both seem to be well beyond us average mortals!"

Diego blushed and glanced down to look at his hands.  He gently patted the neck of the great stallion beneath him.  Diego knew he was intelligent:  His professors had often assigned him extra projects to tax his mind, and his tutor had been teaching him university-level material before he even left home.  "_Don_ Vicente, I don't think--"

_Don_ Vicente waved his hand.  "Oh, I know you don't see yourself as anything special.  There's a modesty about you I like, Diego.  Your father raised you right."

Diego was pleased with the compliment.  "Thank you, _Señor_.  I'll be sure to let Father know you're pleased with his parenting skills," he teased.

"Oh, your Father knows my opinion of you, Diego!  We've talked about you a lot," _Don_ Vicente replied.  Diego raised his eyebrows.  "Don't look so surprised, my son.  You should know by now that children are a parent's favorite subjects!  You and Maria--you're our pride and joy, Diego, as well as our futures.  Alejandro is very proud of you, you know."

Diego looked back down at his hands, which were gently grasping the reins of his horse.  "I'm afraid you are wrong, _Don_ Vicente.  I've been a huge disappointment for him."  He did not know why he was having this discussion with his father's friend, but he was glad to be able to talk to someone about _Don_ Alejandro.

_Don_ Vicente's smile was big, but then most things about him were.  "I'm afraid _you_ are wrong, Diego."  He shook his head when Diego opened his mouth to protest.  "He's told me a lot more than you think, my boy.  I know he's yelled at you, and called you names.  He's ashamed of himself for it.  Don't get me wrong, Diego.  Alejandro de la Vega is a man of passion and a man of action.  It's what I like about him!  He would love for you to be like him, but he knows you are who you are.  And what you are is a good man, Diego, a man that any father can be proud to call son.  I know that for a fact, because I would love to call you 'son' myself."

It took Diego a moment to realize what the other man was saying.  "Ah, _Don_ Vicente, I--" he began to stutter.

The other man laughed at his twisted tongue.  "Oh, Diego, I know that you aren't in love with my daughter, and she isn't in love with you!  However, I do think she is starting to _believe_ she is.  I know about how Alejandro raised you.  I've heard about your mother, and I know how much your father loved her."

Diego closed his eyes at the thought of his mother.  Sometimes, he had a hard time picturing her face, but he always remembered her love for him and his father.  Diego finally looked over at _Don_ Vicente, whose eyes expressed his sympathy.  "Your father raised you with the belief that marriage is based on love.  Having a marriage based on love is special.  I know.  Mine was, too.  It is."

He reined his horse to a stop.  Diego's stallion stopped beside his.  Tears shined in _Don_ Vicente's eyes.  "It is a wonderful experience, Diego.  Even though some things went wrong, I wouldn't change the choice I made when I married my lady.  However, let's be honest.  Most marriages in our class are entered into because of shared interests, economics, or both.  You and Maria have more in common with each other than anyone else you've probably ever met, and our lands share a common border."

"_Don_ Vicente, I am honored," Diego said sincerely.

Turning in his saddle, _Don _Vicente shook his head.  "Don't, Diego!  Please think about it first, before you give me an answer.  I think a marriage between you and Maria would be a good one, a happy one.  Your father told me that there is no one you are romantically attached to, and I am hoping that you will consider the possibility."

_There is no one you are romantically attached to_.  The words echoed in Diego's mind.  Until yesterday, they had been a lie, a mistaken impression his secret forced him to give to others.  Now, he was unsure.  His heart belonged to Victoria, but she claimed her heart had never been his.  Lost in thoughts of his raven-haired beauty, he answered _Don_ Vicente without thought.  A small part of him flinched in horror as he said, "I will think about it."

"Wonderful!  I'm thrilled that you are willing to at least consider it.  We both know Alejandro's anxious for grandchildren!"  _Don_ Vicente said with his usual booming laugh.

Diego also laughed, but it held an edge of hysteria in it, at least to his own ears.  Ever since he had awakened this morning, he felt remarkable detached from his own life.  It was as if he was a spectator who was only mildly interested in the events unfolding in the play.  "Yes, he is often saying 'I want babies, Diego.  Babies!'"  Laughing with _Don_ Vicente, he wondered if he ever would feel joy again.

***

That night, Victoria felt him watching her before she saw him.  Inhaling deeply, she tried to prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation.  At least he had given her last night to collect herself.  She should be able to do it tonight.  It would be simple.  Hard, so very hard to do, but simple in execution.  

Victoria smiled sadly as she thought about the pep talk she had given herself for most of the week.  It was not as though he was the first man she had stopped courting.  _He's the first man you've ever been in love with_, whispered a treacherous voice in her mind.  It was a voice she was beginning to hate.  Feeling her heart clinch, she quickly gave orders to herself.  _Oh, no.  Remember the story.  You were never in love with him.  It was only infatuation.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do._

"Goodnight, _Señor_," she said in a cheerful voice as her last customer left. _Please, don't go!  I'll have to talk to him now! _It was an odd occasion when she was able to close the tavern early like she was tonight.  _Close the tavern early and break his heart_, she thought.  _For him.  Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do._

"Victoria," she heard his voice say from the shadows.  He had always been in the shadows for her until last week--a man of mystery.  Forcing herself to turn, she felt as if her all her actions were painfully slow.  "Be an actress!" a voice echoed in her mind, and she only barely managed to keep herself from shuddering at the thought it.

"Zorro," she said coolly, refusing to notice the pain in his eyes.  "You really shouldn't be here.  The _alcalde _has ordered all of his men out on heavy patrol tonight."

"I know.  He's worried about the Mendez gang," Zorro admitted as he stepped out of the shadows.  His eyes moved up and down, drinking in the sight of her.  Victoria's heart quickened as it had so many times before in his presence.  _Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do._

Victoria started to clear off a dirty table; her actions were dictated by habit instead of thought.  She nodded as she struggled to think about what to say.  "As well he should be!  The Mendez gang was sighted four miles from here by _Don_ Luis."  Amazement at her words filled her.  How could she worry about a murderous gang being nearby when her heart was breaking?

She walked around the bar and placed the dirty dishes onto a tray.  Placing his hands on her shoulders, he stepped closer to her.  She tensed at his touch, and he quickly removed them.  _Don't let me go!_  "Victoria," he said softly in her ear.  His voice was painful for her to hear; his pain cried out to her from it. _For him_, she reminded herself.  She took a deep breath and set her shoulders straight.

"I'm sorry, Zorro.  I--," Victoria stopped talking for a moment, unable to say the words.  "I know you have heard by now what I said in the tavern yesterday, and I'm sorry, but it's true.  I do not love you.  I don't I think I ever did," she finished, forcing herself to look him in the eyes.

The pain in his eyes . . . "Victoria, you cannot mean that!  You promised to wait--"

Shaking her head, Victoria felt as if she was falling apart into a million pieces.  "I'm sorry.  I don't love you, and I don't want to marry you."  She tugged on a small black bag hanging from her skirt, and poured its contents into her hand.  It was a beautiful ruby ring, the one Zorro gave her on the day he proposed.  His mother's ring, he had told her.  She held it out to him, her hand trembling.

He stared at her, as if frozen in place.  He was confused and hurt, and she believed, in his heart, he knew she loved him.  It was why he was having a hard time understanding her words, understanding why she was lying.  For his sake, she prayed that he would believe her lies one day.

The _alcalde's _voice interrupted their silent battle.  "Sergeant, I want you to check the tavern!"  Fear for Zorro's safety consumed her.  Would he allow the _alcalde_ to capture him, in his pain?

She extended her hand father away from her, closer to him.  "Take it and go!  Mendoza will be knocking on my door any minute, and he cannot find you here," she ordered.  _Please go.  Please_, she pleaded with him silently.  

However, he did not move.  She walked closer and put the ring in his hand, curling her fingers, making his hand clutch the ring.  "I still believe in what you do.  You can depend on my help, and we'll always be friends," she whispered, knowing that she was lying.  They could never be friends.  What they felt was too intense for friendship.

A loud knock rattled the door and Victoria's nerves.  "Friends," Zorro echoed.  He knew they could never be just friends either.

"Friends," Victoria lied again.  She wanted him away from her.  She wanted him safe.  After kissing him on the cheek, she turned and began walking towards the door, hoping it would motivate him to leave.  When she grasped the block of wood locking the door, she felt him leave the room and enter the kitchen.  He was leaving, and Victoria let herself breath again.  _Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do._  

She opened the door with a large smile on her face.  "_Don_ Rafael--" she began.  "Oh, Mendoza!  I thought you were _Don_ Rafael.  I'm sorry, but I am closed for the night."  If her face was following her orders, she looked like a woman without a care in the world.  "Be an actress," the hateful voice echoed in her mind.

Mendoza looked startled at her behavior.  "_Don_ Rafael?"

Stepping back, Victoria motioned for him and his men to enter.  "It looks like you are here on official business, Sergeant.  I was expecting _Don_ Rafael, because we had a date to walk in the moonlight."

The lancers looked at each other in amazement.  Only Mendoza had nerve to question her statement.  "_You_ have a date?  With _Don_ Rafael?"

Victoria acted insulted, putting her hands on her hips.  "Be an actress," the voice echoed.  "_Don_ Rafael happens to find me very attractive and thinks I have a nice personality!"

"Oh," Mendoza stuttered.  He'd apparently realized he had insulted the best cook in the territory.  "I didn't mean---I mean--Well, I thought that you and Zorro--"

"Zorro and I have nothing, Mendoza.  Nothing," she assured him.  Her heart throbbed in protest.  "Surely, you've heard what I said yesterday?"

Mendoza nodded.  "Everyone did."

Victoria found herself actually smiling at the thought, even through her pain.  There were no secrets in a small _pueblo_ after all, and it had been more than twenty-four hours she had made her announcement.  It had probably been all over the territory by dinnertime yesterday.

"But even the _alcalde_ didn't believe it," he finished.

"I'm afraid he's going to have to believe it, because it's true," she snapped.  "Why are you here, Sergeant?  I am expecting someone!" 

"I'm afraid we are going to have to look for Zorro, _Señorita_ Victoria."

Her lips twisted into a smile.  "You think Zorro is here?"

"He was spotted earlier, and the _alcalde_ ordered us to check every building, beginning with this one," Mendoza told her quickly.

Victoria pointed to the stairs.  "Feel free to look, Mendoza.  I have no customers, so you can feel free to enter all the rooms, but please hurry.  _Don_ Rafael will be here any minute."

Mendoza nodded, a frown on his face.  "_Sí_, _Señorita_.  We will be quick."  The lancers followed him up the stairs to check.  Victoria looked back at the colorful curtain between her and the kitchen, somehow knowing that _he_ was still in there, listening to what she had said.  So, he knew about her date with _Don_ Rafael.  Victoria began trembling, even as she told herself it was for the best.  She could not believe that lie, though, no matter how many times she said it.  

Mendoza and his lancers walked back down the stairs, every one of their eyes focused on her.  She gave them a bright smile as she hugged herself.  "No Zorro up here," Mendoza told her pleasantly.  "We just need to check the kitchen."

"Oh, Mendoza, you will do anything to get into my kitchen," she teased.  She could feel Zorro leaving.  _Be careful, my love_, she thought.

Mendoza's embarrassed grin let her know she was right.  As if she had any doubts about his interest in her kitchen!  "It _is_ the best in the territory.  Even the de la Vegas' pales in comparison," he admitted.  He signaled his lancers to go search the kitchen.

"Victoria, are you all right?  You don't look so good," Mendoza said quietly, so the lancers wouldn't over hear.  He was a dear friend.  He might wear the uniform of a soldier, but his heart was large.

She smiled at him, proud that her lips did not tremble.  "I'm fine.  Just nervous about my date tonight," she reassured him.  Mendoza frowned, and opened his mouth to say something else, when a knock on the door stopped him.  "That will be _Don_ Rafael," she told with a grin.  She forced herself to walk with a bounce over to the door.  She imagined it was he on the other side.  "Be an actress."

***

Later, Victoria sank against her bedroom door.  Finally, she was alone.  For the first moment since the early morning, she was by herself.  Her mind had screamed for a second to think ever since she returned Zorro's ring to him, but life had been cruel to her.  It demanded that she flirt and tease with _Don_ Rafael, and insisted that she ignore the prying eyes of the _alcalde, _even as she played to her audience.  Fortunately, _Don_ Rafael had just laughed as the _alcalde_ not so subtly placed lancers around the plaza to watch their moonlight stroll.  He was a good man full of fun and laughter.  He would make someone a wonderful husband one day.

Husband.  Zorro was supposed to have been her husband one day.  Instead, a few hours earlier, she had returned his mother's ring.  She broke his heart as she broke her own.  _It was for him_, she tried reassuring herself.  

Suddenly, intense pain shot through Victoria.  She gasped as the ache increased.  _So this is what a broken heart feels like_, she thought, doubling over.  Having been in shock for most of the week, she had simply moved through each day, unable to cry or mourn.  Her denied emotions were making themselves felt tonight, though.  She sat down on the floor, drew her knees tight to her body, and rocked herself, in an effort to forget the agony.  Tears streamed down her face, falling onto her skirt.  Through blurry eyes, she watched as the wet spot grew.  "I'm so sorry, Diego.  So sorry," she whispered, knowing she would never be able to say the words to him.  "I do love _you_; I have always loved you."


	5. Zorro Gets Hurt

Even though no one knew it, Alejandro sat in the tavern brooding

Even though no one knew it, Alejandro sat in the tavern brooding.  Outwardly he was having a good time complaining with his friends about the recent drop in cattle prices.  Everyone in the territory was upset by the decline, and trading on the black-market was higher than ever before.   Since he complained and debated with his usual eagerness, no one at the table, most of whom had been friends for years, noticed the troubled look in his eyes.

Nearly a week had passed since Victoria made her startling declaration.  Life went on in the little _pueblo_, but it seemed to be forever changed.  Zorro had been seen once, but his depressed spirits had been obvious to the most casual of observer.  Just as noticeable to _Don _Alejandro, but not to anyone else, was Victoria's fragile state of mind.

The confident, energetic young woman he once knew was missing.  He watched as she slowly lost more weight, and the circles under her eyes grew bigger and darker.  However, everyone else was more interested in her suddenly active social life.  After taking a moonlight stroll and eating one romantic dinner with _Don_ Rafael, Victoria decided Corporal Sanchez was more to her liking.  He was being replaced by Juan, a farmer, after only two romantic walks in the moonlight and some public flirting.  

As shocking as Victoria's announcement about her feelings for Zorro had been, her new role as the _pueblo_'s coquette stunned _Don _Alejandro.  His friend, her father, had left the area just as Victoria bloomed into womanhood.  _Don _Alejandro took over the role as protector.  Many men over the years found themselves shifting uncomfortably under his scrutiny.  

Having kept an eye on the suitors in her life, _Don _Alejandro knew how Victoria acted towards them.  There had been many over the years.  Her beauty alone attracted men.  However, she also had a passion for life, an energy that drew men to her.  _Don _Alejandro had watched with pride as Victoria dealt with each one fairly, never encouraging those that did not stir her interest and slow to allow others close.  

Alejandro knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was basically unaware of her allure.  He had been unable to convince her that most of these men simply courted her for herself.  She believed that most of them, those that had offered her marriage over the years, wanted to marry her business sense and good income.  She denied her own attractiveness.  

However, the main reason few men were able to get close, was that she was not the type to play with anyone's heart, but in the last week _Don _Alejandro watched in horror as she deliberately played with each man's affections.  He had a hard time believing it, even if she only played for a day or two before jumping to the next admirer, leaving the previous one with nothing worse than a bruised ego.  

Besides distressing over Victoria--who did not appear to him to be really enjoying her newfound freedom--_Don _Alejandro sat with his friends and worried about Diego.  He watched silently each day as his son aged years before his eyes.  Diego's sense of humor, always more reserved than most other's, was absent.  Gone was the man who enjoyed life to the fullest.  Alejandro was learning what it truly meant to have a son with his head stuck in a book all day.  For the last week, whenever Diego had been home, he read all day.  The _hacienda _was quiet and the funny smells were absent, leaving _Don _Alejandro with the impression he was not even bothering to conduct one of his useless experiments.

If Alejandro had been discussing his feelings with his friends, he would admit that Diego told him more now about his day-to-day life, but if truth be told, he would rather have his happy-but-secretive son back any day.  Even though Diego still had not shared anything about the past with him, yet, Alejandro understood that Diego had _something_ that he needed to work through first.  Nonetheless, he _was_ sharing his day-to-day decisions and actions.  He was even in the process of making a decision that Alejandro had long since resolved would never be made:  marriage.

Even as _Don _Alejandro slammed his fist down on the table and insisted that the government must do something to help the ranchers, his mind stayed on last night's dinner where he had finally broken his silence.  Wanting to give Diego his requested time, he could no longer hold his tongue.  He saw the look in Maria's eyes grow deeper and more powerful.  Diego had not heeded his earlier advice, and spent most of his time at the de Corazon _hacienda._

Last night, when Diego came home for dinner, _Don _Alejandro conscious demanded he say something.  Especially after he had met Diego and Maria earlier in the plaza.  The love Maria was feeling for his son made her glow.  Afraid of hurting Diego, and their relationship, he had said over dessert, "Diego, Vicente is going to think you're about to propose marriage if you keep seeing Maria every day."  Fear insisted he handle the issue with humor, instead of his usual directness.  Besides, Diego did not need a lecture.

Diego flinched, and took a sip of wine before answering.  "Actually, _Don_ Vicente knows I am only considering it, Father."  His eyes met Alejandro's for a moment, but _Don _Alejandro had seen a desperate desire for approval as well as Diego's own disbelief in those eyes.  Alejandro had sat there for a moment waiting for Diego to say something, anything, else, but Diego only returned to eating his meal and remained quiet.  A million different thoughts had raced through his mind at that moment, but none allowed themselves to be voiced.  Instead, he had simply stared at Diego until Bebe cleared the dishes.

The irony of it broke his heart.  The woman he loved like a daughter, who had been ready for marriage for years, was now jumping from suitor to suitor.  The son, who had not had one serious relationship since his return from Spain as far as his father knew, was now seriously considering marriage.  Yet, both of them looked miserable.  The tightness around Victoria's mouth, and the way her clothes hung limply from her body, spoke volumes to him.  Diego's usual energy was lost and his eyes were spiritless, worrying the old _caballero_ more than he wanted to admit.  Two of the most important people in his life were miserable when they should be happy, and neither was willing to talk about the cause of their anguish!

"Well, the King had better do something, or all of his cattle will be steaks served on British tables!"  _Don_ Rafael said when all hell broke loose.  The sound of firing guns shattered the quietness of the _pueblo_.  Women screamed as men yelled.  Over the furor, Alejandro heard DeSoto ordering his troops to return fire, and his gut tightened in horror when he realized what was happening.  The Mendez gang was now out of hiding, and Los Angeles had been their target after all.  Allowing himself a moment to pray, he rushed out into the chaos that had once been a peaceful afternoon.

He immediately spotted Mendez, since he was the most outlandishly dressed of all his men.  His clothes were those of a _caballero,_ although dust covered them and the wrinkles spoke of many nights sleeping on the ground.  Alejandro also saw him easier since he was the only one sitting on his horse, as well as holding a rifle to DeSoto's head.  "Hello, _Alcalde_, I'm your worst nightmare come to life," he said in a rough voice.  His enjoyment of the terror he and his men were causing was evident in that hateful voice.

Alejandro forced himself to stand still.  He knew that any move could cause Mendez to pull that trigger, and even DeSoto did not deserve such a horrible death.  Alejandro de la Vega also owed him for saving Diego's life, and for that fact alone, DeSoto would be protected from a scoundrel if _Don _Alejandro could help it.  While still eagerly awaiting the day DeSoto would go to prison for his crimes, Alejandro desired justice, not murder.

"You'll never get away with this," DeSoto snapped.  Alejandro winced as Victoria stopped beside him.  DeSoto, with his over-inflated ego, was not the smartest of men.  Looking around, it suddenly struck him that Corporal Sanchez was the only soldier in the plaza, and he was currently being tied up by two of Mendez's men.  Where were the other lancers?

The crack of a whip echoed through the air, and DeSoto fell as Mendez's gun fired.  Zorro was here to do the job!  Having used his whip to pull DeSoto out of harm's way, he was using it to get Mendez's spent rifle.  Lancers poured into the plaza from behind Zorro, and the people screamed and ran for cover, afraid of getting hurt in the crossfire.  Alejandro grabbed Victoria's arm in an effort to get her back into the tavern, but she shook her head and refused to be moved.  She stood on her tavern's porch, leaning on a column, her entire body focused to watch Zorro fight Mendez with his sword.  She did not appear to notice the lancers all around her, firing at, and fighting with, the rest of the gang.  Amazingly, the lancers were winning without _much_ help from Zorro.

The masked man, at the moment, was in the process of knocking the sword from Mendez's hand.  It only took him one stroke of his blade.  Then, he threw his right fist hard into the man's face.  Mendez crumbled to the ground.  Zorro turned to watch the two remaining men fighting with the lancers, who were obviously winning the battle.  Slowly, Zorro turned and looked at the _alcalde_.

Both fists sprang out from the man, reminding Alejandro of a sleek cat pouncing.  The black-clad hands curled around the _alcalde's _caveat and shook the man hard.  _Don _Alejandro could not recall another man Zorro treated so roughly.  "Your stupidity nearly cost these good people their lives!" he shouted into the man's face.

Alejandro could tell that DeSoto was furious about the fact Zorro was humiliating him again.  "I am the _alcalde_ of this _pueblo_, and I'll protect it as I see fit!" he yelled back at the outlaw.

Zorro drew the _alcalde_ closer, and Alejandro saw the terror on DeSoto's face.  None of the lancer's moved a muscle.  "How?  By having your men stay up late to watch a woman walk in the moonlight with her swain?"

Alejandro started before looking over at Victoria.  It was obvious whom Zorro meant, and she nodded her head in confirmation.  _Don _Alejandro had not known, but he was not surprised.  It sounded like something DeSoto would do in his drive to capture Zorro.

DeSoto sputtered, and tried to shake his head.  "S-she--I knew you would come--"

Zorro shook him again, every motion over emphasized.  "You.  Know.  Nothing," he said.  "Victoria has made her feeling clear, and I would never force her to do anything that she did not want to do.  You had been warned that Mendez and his men were here, and you knew what he did in those other _pueblo_s, and yet you _chose_ to have your men watch a woman courting instead of preparing for their attack!  While they were all resting in preparation of being up late tonight, Mendez and his men easily trapped them in their barracks!  You are to guard these people, _Alcalde_, and you had better do a better job of it, or I'll make sure that you won't be able to do the job anymore!  Do you understand me?"  His face was mere inches from DeSoto's.

DeSoto nodded, his face twisted in anger and fear.  The man had to realize his own responsibility for the day, even as he tried to deny it.  Unfortunately, he had often been able to excuse his way out of any accountability for his own actions.  He would soon find a way to blame Zorro for Mendez's attacks.

The outlaw pushed DeSoto away from him, causing the _alcalde_ to stumble.  Zorro did not look in the direction of the tavern as he climbed on the back of Toronado.  He simply got on the horse rode out of the plaza.  Gone was the usual drama of salutes or waves.  

Alejandro's heart nearly stopped when Victoria's scream tore through the air.  He did not understand why she was screaming until the gun fired.  One of Mendez's gang members, thought to have been knocked out by the soldiers, had drawn a small gun from his boot and shot at the retreating outlaw's back.  Mendoza quickly grabbed the spent gun, but it was too late.  The damage had been done.  

The bullet had hit Zorro.  Alejandro knew it, having seen the man wince in pain and slump forward a bit, before guiding his horse into gallop.  The shaking woman in his arms recognized it, too.  "He's been shot," she whispered, leaning heavily against _Don _Alejandro.

DeSoto, standing nearby, smiled.  "Yes, he has.  I hope it was fatal," he snarled.

DeSoto's bitter words calmed Victoria; she stopped shaking and pulled herself away from her friend, before taking on the air of someone who had a task to do.  She smiled up at Alejandro, and asked, "_Don_ Alejandro, would you mind if we went and got those wines you were going to sell me, now?"

He looked down at her, a frown creasing his brow.  "You want to go to my _hacienda_ and get wine?"  How could she think of such things at a time like this?

Victoria seemed oblivious to his confusion and his anger.  Smiling brightly, she nodded.  "I have a feeling that I'll have a lot of soldiers in my tavern tonight, so I need to make sure my stock is ready.  After all, they should be getting tonight off to relax."

_Don_ Rafael opened his mouth and then shut it again.  Finally, he said, "Going home sounds good to me, too.  We need to let our families know that we are safe, and she's right, _Don _Alejandro.  The tavern will be full tonight of lancers wanting to tell the tales and citizens who want to hear them.  If she's low on wine, she needs to get stocked up before tonight."

Victoria laughed and waved goodbye to the handsome _caballero_ who had been her beau for a few days.  "Yes, I must.  Nothing worse than having a bunch of sad soldiers sitting around the place, giving you hurt looks because you only have lemonade.  Would you mind terribly, _Don_ Alejandro?"

"Of course not," he answered, but his voice showed the signs of a man holding himself in check.  "I did bring my wagon today, instead of just my horse.  You can ride with me, now, to the _hacienda_, so we can get your wine, and then ride back and unload." 

DeSoto walked the few steps necessary to stand in front of them.  "If you think you are going to help that outlaw, you are wrong, _Señorita_," he warned, wearing a smile.

Victoria lifted her eyebrows.  Then, she just laughed and rolled her eyes.  "Send some lancers to follow us, _Alcalde._  All they we will see is myself and _Don _Alejandro riding to de la Vega _hacienda_ to get wine."  Looking around the plaza at the lancers awaiting their orders, she smiled.  Crossing her arms, she mocked, "Perhaps I should be flattered that all of your men seemed to find me so fascinating, _Alcalde._"  Turning to look back at DeSoto, she grinned.  "Or maybe _you_ want to tell me something?"

The _alcalde _glared at her, but she showed no signs that it bothered her.  _Don _Alejandro shook his own head in amazement at her words.  She honestly seemed unconcerned at Zorro's plight.  As his eyes scanned the plaza, he could see his own disbelief mirrored on the faces of his friends.

Victoria also seemed to notice everyone's shock.  Throwing her hands up in the air, she turned and told the crowd, "I'm sure Zorro has someone helping him.  It probably isn't even that bad of an injury!"  

It was then that _Don _Alejandro realized that everyone had thought she wanted to go help Zorro; he had not even considered the idea.  He watched as all the people in the plaza shook their heads and sadly walked away.  They finally believed that the love was gone; her recent actions had not been caused by a lover's spat.

Victoria also did not seem to be thinking about following the man she used to love.  After all, she was telling the _Alcalde_ to follow her.  Alejandro wondered where the frightened young woman of few moments ago was?  She had disappeared without a trace.  There was not even any hint of tears on Victoria's face.

***

Within minutes of leaving the tavern, _Don _Alejandro had his answer.  She was sitting next to him in the wagon, clutching her skirts.  "Can we please go faster?" she asked, sounding like she was out of breath.  Alejandro glanced at her, surprised to see wide eyes looking back at him.  Her skin was so pale, Alejandro feared she was going to faint at any moment.  He did not know what was going on, but he did know her needs.  Smiling, he patted her hand, and then he whipped the reins.

When they arrived by his garden gate, she jumped down from the wagon even before he brought it to a complete stop.  She took a few quick steps towards the door and then stopped.  She glanced back at Alejandro, her hands gathered into tiny fists.  Then, taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders, and raced into the house.  Alejandro, shaking his head, threw the reins to Miguel.  What was going on here?


	6. Felipe Finds Out Victoria's Secret

Inside, Felipe carefully exited the cave, leaving Diego to finish getting dressed

Inside, Felipe carefully exited the cave, leaving Diego to finish getting dressed.  Since Victoria's crushing comments, the man needed more time alone, or at least, he wanted more time alone.  Felipe knew he had managed to defeat the Mendez gang, but that it had been at great personal cost was obvious to the young man.  He saw it in the tired eyes, the strained face, and the defeated shoulders.  Felipe did not know exactly what had been done or said in the _pueblo_, but Diego's emotional pain was his own.  

However, Diego also had some physical pain after today's fight, since he had managed to get himself hurt.  There must have been some angel in the plaza guarding Diego.  From what little Diego had told him, the bandit should have had a clear shot that would have left the masked man gravely wounded.  Instead, Felipe had just finished wrapping a small, but painful, flesh wound.

Still thinking about his friend, he started when the front door slammed.  Victoria suddenly running into the library startled him some more.  Not just because she was there--which she had not been in over a week--but her entire attitude was that of a mad woman.  The normally composed _señorita_ was scanning the room frantically.  Her skin was flushed, and her eyes were wide, and her hands seemed to be shaking, but he was not sure since she kept wringing them together.

Spotting him, she rushed over and grabbed him by the shoulders, forcing him to look in her in the eyes.  It was then Felipe noticed how she was heavy she was breathing, like she was nervous, and he could feel her entire body tremble.  "Where is he?  Is he all right?" she demanded, her voice high and shaky.  

Felipe began to sign that he did not understand what or whom she asking about.  A small voice of alarm wondered if she meant Diego, but how would she know he was hurt?  "Please, tell me he is--"

"Diego!" _Don_ Alejandro's voice intruded on their private conversation.  So shaken by Victoria's strange behavior, he involuntarily glanced over at the fireplace. Diego would be able to hear _Don_ Alejandro, but he would not be able to come out of the passage with everyone in the room.  Victoria's eyes followed his.  Looking at the fireplace, she stood incredibly still before nodding.  Felipe saw her force a smile on her face, and then turned to walk out of the room.  He followed, perplexed by her odd behavior.  The knots in his gut were also worrisome.

A composed, sweet-tempered Victoria met his patron by the door.  Felipe shook his head, as if trying to make his ears work.  "_Don_ Alejandro, I'll probably need at least 20 bottles!"

Alejandro nodded, a small frown on his face.  He scanned Victoria's face and then gave his head a small shake.  "I was going to send thirty," he answered her.  "With everything that has happened lately, you should have a large influx of customers."

Victoria's smile brightened the entire room.  Felipe noticed, in the odd way people sometimes notice things, that her teeth were perfectly white and in a straight row.  Not many people in the territory could claim it.  "Thank you!  I hate to impose, but with Bernardo away--"

"You're regular supply of wine is gone!"  Alejandro finished for her.  Patting her one the shoulder, he said, "I'm going to find Diego, and--"

"And what, Father?" Diego's voice floated over Felipe's shoulder.  Looking behind him, Felipe began to smile, but it quickly left his face when he heard Victoria's small gasp.  Standing next to Felipe, she quickly grasped his hand and squeezed.  The color faded from her face again, and Felipe read the prayer of thanksgiving she mouthed with her eyes closed.  Father and son were focused on each other, so Felipe assumed he was the only one to notice Victoria's response to Diego's entrance.

"I need your strong, healthy back, my son."  Alejandro answered Diego.  The broad grin and happiness in the older man's eyes warmed Felipe's heart.  At least his patron was content with his life.  "Victoria is borrowing some of our wine, and I need your help carrying the crates out to the wagon."

"Victoria," Diego said as a greeting.  He dipped his head, and then looked back at his father.  Felipe was proud of him; his voice had almost sounded normal.  Over the past week, Felipe had watched the young _don_ grieve for Victoria.  He watched as the man he loved as a father, as the man who would soon be his father, became a shadow of his former self.

While Diego spent a lot of time away from the _hacienda_ now, he had spent little of it in the _pueblo_.  While he never said he was avoiding the place, Felipe knew he was afraid of running into the beautiful owner of his heart.  Even Zorro hesitated to go today, but duty and responsibility outweighed personal cost; it was a de la Vega creed Felipe learned to live by as a young boy.

Today, though, with the woman he yearned for standing in his home, mere feet from his arms, Diego showed little reaction.  If Felipe had been unaware of the fact Diego was Zorro, he would have believed Diego to be behaving as the friend he had always pretended to be.  However, he did know Diego was Zorro, so he was the only person in the room understanding what an effort it was for Diego to remain in the same room with her.

"Of course, Father. Lead the way," Diego replied, as if his heart was not breaking, but Felipe knew it was.  He watched as Diego stepped aside and motioned for his father to proceed.  Alejandro, as he walked past his son, began telling Diego the day's earlier events.  It always amused Felipe to hear Diego's "surprised" responses to such news.

He kept his focus on the backs of his patrons, relieved that Diego would be spending little time in Victoria's company.  Maybe one day, the man would be able to be her friend, but it would long in the future.  Felipe could only hope that Diego did not do anything while he was in pain that he would later regret.  His future father had not shared his plans with Felipe, but the young man had heard the whispers about Maria de Corazon.

The world shifted on its axis, and Felipe felt his stomach drop when he heard Victoria whisper behind him:  "_Madre de Dios_! I thought he had been shot!"

He stood there, unmoving, for almost a minute, unable or unwilling to believe what he had just heard.  Finally, he forced his body to turn.  Victoria, shaking, seemed to be stunned, too.  Both of them just looked at one another, neither of them saying anything or moving. Finally, she said, "You _heard_ me, didn't you, Felipe?"

He considered acting dumb.  He had done it before; just smile and shake his head.  He knew what he should do, but he could not.  Victoria Escalante's words, as well as her earlier actions, told him something he did not want to know.  Try as he might, pretending otherwise with her anymore would be impossible.  Slowly, he nodded.

Victoria's eyes suddenly filled with tears.  She looked down at her hands, held together tightly in front of her, and admitted, "Yes, Felipe, I know.  I have known for--Well, that doesn't matter."  She wiped away the small streams of water on her face.  Her lips twisted into a mockery of a smile.  "The fine _caballero_ Diego de la Vega is Zorro."

Reaching out to grasp his arms, she demanded in an instant tone:  "Promise me that you'll always look after him!  You'll protect him, won't you?"  For the briefest instant, he saw her soul, but the door quickly slammed closed, shutting him out.  She would not let him get close to her.

Biting his lip, he nodded.  After all, he told himself, the promise was redundant.  Diego, the man who would soon be his legal father, would always be protected from harm if Felipe could help it.  He was confused by this woman, the woman who was pleading with him to protect Diego, and yet, had hurt him far more than any bullet when she announced that she no longer loved him.  Felipe believed, deep in his heart, that she had been lying, and he wanted to know why.

"You love him," he finally said, not caring if she found out all of his secrets today.  Diego would be protected, even from Victoria.  She showed no reaction to his voice.  The dazed look in her eyes told him that she was far away from the here and now.

Unthinking, she started to nod, but then realized what she was revealing.  "Oh, no!" she suddenly protested.  Her voice wavering, she shook her head no violently.  "I don't love him, but I do love what he stands for, Felipe.  He is a hero, and this _pueblo_ needs him."  Felipe, taught by Diego to observe his world, noted that she refused to meet his eyes, and her words almost tripped over themselves in an effort to get out of her mouth.  "I just want--I just wanted to make sure he was safe."  She turned and started to walk with forced nonchalance towards the library.  "I just thought that I was in love with Zorro," she whispered, and he wondered whom she was trying to convince.

"Ah, here you go, Victoria!" _Don_ Alejandro said as he and Diego returned, each of them carrying a crate.  "Diego and I will load up the wagon, and they we will be ready to go to the tavern."

Standing by the entrance, Felipe watched Victoria turn and smile at the _don_.  "Thank you!" she said warmly.  Felipe shook his head as he saw once again, a confidant, cheerful lady.  Gone was the frightened, pleading woman of a few moments ago.  A sense of vertigo hit Felipe.  Being with Victoria right now was like spinning in circles.

The minute Diego had brought a trembling, scared little boy into his home, Victoria had been there to love him.  Felipe remembered a time when only Diego and Victoria were allowed to touch him; any one else who tried was treated to seeing the backside of Felipe as he ran away to hide.  Victoria proudly walked into the _pueblo _with him, introducing him to all her friends.  While Diego was busy with his own studies, she took the time to teach the boy how to communicate better with signs.  Outside of the de la Vegas, she was the most important person in his life.  He knew that her honesty and integrity were just as strong as the de la Vegas.

Or he had thought he knew it.  After her actions today, he was uncertain what he to think or feel about Victoria.  The _señorita_ that he saw today was unlike the Victoria Escalante he had always known.  Even the first time he met her, not long after her father and brothers had left the _pueblo_, there had been a sparkle in her eyes that was missing now.  Oh, yes, he had seen her show enthusiasm and joy today, but they were a _show_.  He remembered Diego's instructions about acting, and so had Victoria apparently.  Her act as a happy woman was good but flawed, Felipe thought in the voice of a critic.

Having to deal with his own pain caused by Victoria's defection of Diego, he had avoided going into the _pueblo_ this week himself.  Having spent a lot of time thinking about the subject, he understood why he hurt so much.  After all, he had believed she was going to be his mother one day.  While he had two wonderful father figures in _Don _Alejandro and _Don _Diego, the de la Vegas had been unable to provide him with a mother.  Victoria was close, but the distance between the _pueblo_ and the_ hacienda _kept her from acting like a real mother.

Like Diego, he had been waiting for her to join their family.  Those expectations were shattered when she returned the ring, given to her as a promise of a future.  Not wanting to know, he had been unable to block out the other servants' whispering about her various beaus.  His heart had ached for Diego, because he knew no one knew better than to not mention it to his patron.  Every comment must cut the man like a knife.

Today had been the first time he had seen Victoria since she made her decision about Zorro.  Now, Felipe stood at the de la Vegas' door, watching the people he loved standing next to the wagon, hurting for two of them.  Victoria's pain had become real to him today, and he could no longer ignore the fact that she too needed comfort.  He wondered why she ended her relationship with Diego, if it made her so unhappy.

End her relationship with Diego . . .Thoughts spilled out into his mind.  Unless, when she figured out that Zorro was Diego, she realized that she did not love Diego.  She may have decided that the man behind the mask did not live up to her expectations.  Maybe Diego's fears had been more realistic than anyone thought.  

Rage flowed through the young man.  She had not even given him a chance!  If he was right in his suspicions, she just made a whimsical decision instead of taking the time to know the real Diego.  The Diego she thought she knew did not really exist.  The weak-willed, reluctant-to-get-involved man was an act.  True, Diego did love his studies.  In a perfect world, he would be working on his science and teaching others the sword for fun.  However, Diego was a de la Vega, and that meant he was also a passionate man of action.  Victoria should have realized that the man she loved was somewhere in Diego, and he deserved to be told the truth in either case.

Felipe frowned as he heard her laugh at something Diego said.  Why had not she told Diego the truth?  In a useless effort to protect him or herself from hurt?  The honest lady Felipe once knew, the one who never bothered to hide what she was thinking, would have admitted her fears to Diego, no matter what the cost to herself.  She would have given him the chance to explain.  No, she would have _insisted _that Diego answer every one of her questions.  Instead, this strange creature pretending to be Victoria was making public declarations before even talking to Zorro, something Felipe had a hard time forgiving.  His father deserved to be treated better.

Wearing a relieved smile, Diego walked back to where he stood.  Noticing Felipe's preoccupation, he lifted his eyebrows in a question.  Felipe, shooting the departing Victoria another glance, shook his head.  He was fine.  Focusing his attention back to Diego, where he felt his loyalties laid, Felipe returned the earlier smile, understanding Diego's joy at passing a self-imposed test.  Now, the handsome _caballero_ knew he could face Victoria without making a fool of himself.  "Today has been a long day already, Felipe.  I'm going to go to my room and to take a _siesta_," Diego said, patting him on the back as he walked past him.

Felipe followed him into the hacienda, feeling free to show his emotional anguish now that Diego's attention was away from him.  Watching the once energetic man amble into his room, he considered telling Diego what he had learned a few minutes before.  Then, he remembered the few conversations he and Diego had had about Victoria over the years.  Although Diego kept his feelings close to his own heart, Felipe knew his fears about the beautiful lady he loved.

Shaking his head, he turned away from his father and entered the library.  Briefly his hand rested on the piano, and he remembered all the time Victoria had sat listening to Diego play.  _What good would it do, Felipe?_ he asked himself.  _The man is grieving right now, and to know the truth would only bring him more pain.  _

Sometimes, Felipe realized, being a man was a terrible burden.  As a child, he told Diego everything.  Looking over at the secret entrance into the cave, Felipe reassured himself that Diego would understand why he was keeping the secret.  With his thoughts centered on Victoria, he walked over to the cave.  After looking over his shoulder, he tapped the mechanism to open the door.  He needed time to himself in order to gather his thoughts and feelings.  He lost a possible mother last week, but today, a friend was lost because he would never be able to look at Victoria the same way again.


	7. Diego Shares A Secret With The de Corazo...

Diego drank from his glass of lemonade, his tongue enjoying the delightfully sweet bitter taste

Diego drank from his glass of lemonade, his tongue enjoying the delightfully sweet bitter taste.  Like every glass of the drink he had sampled here, it was perfectly made and refreshing.  "My compliments to Savannah.  She knows how to make the ideal glass of lemonade," he told him companion.

Swinging her fan, Maria leaned back in her chair and laughed.  "And she knows it!  If I ever displeased her as a child, she would threaten not to make me any more lemonade.  I lived in terror!"

Diego snickered at the image--a little, old woman threatening the precocious child that Maria would have been.  Knowing how good Savannah's lemonade was, he could believe the threat had been an effective one.  

"How was your trip to Santa Pablo yesterday?" Maria asked graciously.  She was always polite.  At least, she spoke her mind in a way few Spanish ladies dared.  However, he wished she had some of the fire Victoria had: passion instead of politeness. 

_No, I won't think of her today,_ Diego ordered himself.  He had given himself the same instruction every day for the last three weeks, but his heart, still aching for Victoria, refused to listen.  Every morning, he awoke to thoughts that maybe it had all been a nightmare, but all too soon, he remembered the simple, awful truth:  Victoria did not love him.

Diego forced his attention back to the lovely _señorita_ sitting next to him.  Noticing her beautiful smile and warm eyes, he thought again about marriage.  The idea had stayed with him since _Don_ Vicente had extracted his promise.  When he finally discussed it with _Don _Alejandro, his father had been thrilled to hear he was finally considering settling down.  However, Diego sensed that his father had some reservations about the marriage that he was not sharing.  Diego knew that Maria was fond for him, and he cared for her.  It was so much more than most men he knew had, but he yearned for a marriage of love like his parents had.  _Don _Alejandro and _Doña _Elena had a wonderful relationship that had left a deep impression on a little boy.  When Victoria had been his, he believed their marriage would be a lot like his parents.

"It went well," he finally answered Maria, sitting down his glass carefully.  Forcing his body to relax back in the chair, he explained, "I had to visit our attorney."  Only as the words left his mouth did he realize he had never even hinted to her about his plan to adopt Felipe.  He frowned at the thought.  Here he sat, considering marriage to a woman with whom he had not even shared one the most important facts about his life.  With Victoria, he had yearned, without exception, to tell her the most trivial of details, and often did.  He told her the same moment he told his father about Felipe's adoption, since her opinion and joy were as important to him as _Don_ Alejandro's.  Would life have turned out any different if he had confessed Zorro's identity that day?  Would Victoria still love him?

"Oh, Diego!  What's wrong?" Maria asked, concerned.

She thought his frown was from his visit to see _Don_ Armando.  "Oh, nothing is wrong.  In fact, everything is great," he reassured her.  "I needed to see him to finish some more paper work.  I am in the process of adopting Felipe," he told her, holding his breath.  If she hated the idea, there would be no chance for any marriage between them.

"Diego, that's wonderful!  Everyone in the _pueblo_ already says you're like a father to him.  I'm sorry, but I hadn't heard the news from anyone.  I didn't know," she rushed to tell him.  

Diego's muscles relaxed again, and he grinned at her.  "I'm afraid it's still a family secret."  Maria's smile widened.  "We decided to keep it to ourselves until it is finished.  Felipe preferred it that way, having been the subject of a lot of gossip when he arrived with me in the _pueblo_."  

Diego smiled and shook his head as he thought about the rumors that had flown about--from Felipe's parentage to the reason for his deafness.  It had taken months before everyone accepted that the boy was indeed an orphan that the de la Vegas had taken in after Diego found him alone on a battlefield.  "He knew that everyone would be talking about it, but he's smart enough to understand the talk would be minimal if everyone found out at once."

Maria nodded, her face suddenly sad.  "Father and Mother did that with their separation.  They told no one until Father and I were packing.  As long as it was done, they told me, people would talk about it and then forget it because there was no new news."

He reached over and patted her shoulder.  Maria seldom discussed her mother, but her absence was felt strongly by both her and her father.  From what little he had heard about the woman, he thought she sounded like the perfect wife for Vicente, as well as a wonderful mother.  Even though he was unsure what caused the marriage to crumble, but it always saddened him to hear of such things.

"Ah, Diego, my boy, I thought you would be here," Vicente almost yelled as he came out into his garden.  Diego could not help liking Vicente, a man who was so similar to _Don_ Alejandro in many ways.  Honor, trust, and family loyalty were the lifeblood of these men. 

Diego stood to shake his host's hand.  "And why did you expect to find me here?"  Had he forgotten an appointment?  
  


_Don_ Vicente gave his big, booming belly laugh.  "Well, my boy, you have been here every morning for the last three weeks.  I'd call that a pattern," he teased him.

Diego started to deny it, but Vicente was right.  He _had_ spent a lot of time over the last three weeks visiting the de Corazons.  Their _hacienda_ had been like a refuge for him.  At home, he simply brooded about Victoria, but here, his training insisted he be a good guest.  He talked to Maria about the various subjects in science that they both loved so well, and discussed issues related to owning a _rancho_ in California with _Don_ Vicente.  They all loved talking about the various people of the community, too.  Busy visiting them, he did not have time to think about Victoria, or at least not as much time to think about her.

"Hello, my lovely," Vicente said as he leaned over and kissed his daughter's cheek.  "How are you doing this morning?"

"I am doing wonderfully, Father.  Diego was just sharing some wonder--Oh, I'm sorry!"  Maria said with a horrified gasp.  "I didn't ask if you minded if I shared with Father."

Diego simply smiled and waved his hand to let her know he was unconcerned.  "I'm surprised Father hasn't shared it with him himself.  Please, go ahead.  We just don't want anyone else in the _pueblo_ to know, yet."

Vicente looked over at Diego and then looked back at his daughter.  "Tell me this wonderful news, daughter!  You know how I hate not knowing something."

"Diego is adopting Felipe," she shared, excitement dripping from her voice.  She did seem pleased about the adoption. Felipe needed love and acceptance, and Diego always made sure he received it.  However, he knew for himself that nothing replaced a mother.   

Vicente looked from Diego to Maria back to Diego.  Then, a large grin covered his face.  He held out his hand to give Diego's a hard shake.  "That's wonderful!  That boy already sees you as a father anyway.  You're going to make an excellent father, my boy."

Diego thanked him, more grateful for the words than he could admit.  It was strange, but even after all these years of raising Felipe, he was worried about how good of an example he was going to be.  Diego knew the fear was ridiculous since Felipe was almost a man, but Vicente's quick faith helped calm the terror some.

"He already is an excellent father," Maria corrected.  "He's already raised Felipe.  The adoption just makes it all legal."

Gratitude swelled in him for Maria.  What she said was true--he had always been Felipe's father.  It was just a matter of legality now, and the law did not make someone a good parent.  "Thank you, Maria," he told her, staring into her eyes.

Her smile was shy, and she seemed to suddenly find it difficult to look in his eyes.  Several times, Alejandro told him that she was in love with him, but he hoped it was not true.  He might want to marry her, but he had no desire for her love.  He would never be able to love her back like she would want.  Even if he married her, he would only see her as a friend.  Hopefully, she felt the same way towards him.

"My Maria is going to make a wonderful mother herself, one of these days," Vicente said, and Diego grinned at the not-so-subtle hint.  He watched as a pretty blush bloomed in Maria's cheeks.

"That she will," Diego agreed, unwilling to be drawn into that discussion at the moment.  The battle still raged between his mind and heart.

His head said it would be so easy to ask the question.  They were simply words.  "Will you marry me?"  He had asked them before, twice, and found them to be the easiest words in the world to say.  However, his heart disagreed violently.  Every time he had come close over the weeks, which had been after hearing about each of Victoria's new suitors, his heart had stopped the words in his throat.  

_Because you are living on impossible dreams,_ he told himself angrily.  _You keep hoping for the day that Victoria will realize that she was wrong.  You keep hoping for the day that she will run out of the tavern shouting your--Zorro's name.  It isn't going to happen! _ His dreams of love must be forgotten.  Instead, he needed to think about his responsibilities, which included marriage.

It was long past time for him to marry after all, having only waited so long for the day he could claim Victoria.  Waiting for a day the mask could be taken off forever, before he shared his love.  That day would never come now.  The lady had tired of waiting.  He needed to get married, and have those babies that his father had talked about for years.  He needed a companion in his life.  Felipe needed a mother.

As he laughed at something _Don _Vicente said, he glanced at Maria.  If he asked her to marry him, it would be a marriage of friendship instead of love, but that could make a good basis for marriage.  Vicente was right:  They shared many of the same interest after all, so they had much to discuss.  She enjoyed spending time with him, and he enjoyed spending time with her.  Their families were friends.  She was intelligent and pretty.  They would make great children together.  He just had to ask the one question.  It should be so easy . . .


	8. It's Final

Alejandro de la Vega, community leader and former soldier, was as nervous as a young man courting his first girl

Alejandro de la Vega, community leader and former soldier, was as nervous as a young man courting his first girl.  His stomach was tied in knots, and he was impressed that his hands were not shaking, but then maybe they were.  He could not really tell, because he was busy squeezing them together in his anxiety.

Today was the day!  A day long hoped and dreamed for, but one he had secretly feared would never happen.  When his son first made the announcement, he had been shocked but pleased.  Now, after quickly doing some needed work, his hope was coming true.  Today was the day that his family grew!

He smiled at Felipe, his grandson.  His smiled broadened as he thought those words.  He had a grandson, or he would just as soon as Diego finished signing the papers.  The adoption had been quick because Diego had worked hard to make sure the paper work was filed as fast it could be, even making several trips to Santa Pablo to make sure everything went smoothly.

Diego wrote the final stroke upon the paper.  _Don_ Armando smiled at him, shook his hand, and said, "Congratulations, _Don_ Diego, you are the proud parent of a grown boy!"  The small gathering of friends applauded, making up for what they lacked in number in volume.

Laughing in joy, Alejandro began passing out the already-poured glasses of champagne.  Today was a great day in the de la Vega _hacienda_!  He had gained a grandson, and his closest friends were surrounding him.  Lifting his glass, he toasted the newest member of his family.  "My son one day brought to this _hacienda_ a little boy who needed a home.  I agreed with Diego that the boy should stay here, all the while doubting he would feel at home.  I do not think even Diego and I considered this _hacienda_ 'home' during that time.  It had stopped being that when my Elena died, but that little boy brought the life back into this _hacienda_.  _He_ gave us a home, and I've waited a long time for him to agree to become a _legal_ member of this family.  To the best grandson I could ever hope to have!"

Everyone, cheering, lifted their glassed and drank deeply.  He watched as Felipe hesitantly sipped his first drink.  Having never dined with the family, and knowing Diego's attitude towards wine, had discouraged Felipe from trying it until he was older.  Alejandro could not help smiling when a look of distaste crossed Felipe's face.  It looked like he was going to have another son in the household who refused to drink any alcohol except for an occasional toast.

Proud, he looked around the room at his friends.  _Don_ Armando, when _Don _Alejandro first met him, had been a young boy.  _Don_ Alejandro, just returned from Spain with a wife and a young son, had been a young man himself.  Armando had been an annoying imp playing in law offices then, but that whippersnapper had grown into a man who took over the family law firm years ago.  So now, he worked in those offices instead of playing in them.  His children had played in them, and now his grandchildren were continuing the same pattern in those same offices.

_Don_ Armando had been the de la Vega family attorney for years, and he too had worked especially hard to make sure that the adoption went smoothly.  He had made several trips, to Monterey, to personally oversee filing of paperwork.  He had gone far beyond the call of duty because he was a friend, and he knew how important this adoption was to the de la Vegas.  Felipe would be in good hands this summer while working for the kind lawyer.

Alejandro's gaze fell on _Don_ Vicente, a new friend--a man who was becoming as close as a brother to him.  They shared many of the same beliefs, and Vicente was a man a person could depend upon to help, no matter what the circumstances.  _Don _Alejandro was pleased that the man had moved to Los Angeles, and he hoped that sometime in the future Vicente's marriage would be repaired, since it was the only dark spot on his friend's jovial soul.

His eyes rested on Maria, the daughter of and most important person to that dear friend.  _Don _Alejandro liked her forthright nature.  She was apparently becoming an important part of his son's life as well.  Alejandro was beginning to accept that she would probably be his daughter-in-law soon.  Diego spent too much time with her for it to be a simple friendship.  However, he admitted, if only himself, that he wished for a different type of marriage for his son.

They would have a good marriage, but he desired a great union for his only child.  He wanted Diego to experience all of the passion and joy he experienced with his Elena.  He wished his son to know what it felt like to be burning with love for a woman, where thoughts of the lady consumed him until he knew that he had to marry her or go mad.  He did not want Diego to have a marriage where he took the time--where he _could_ take the time--to "consider" it before proposing.  Alejandro sighed and shook his head.  His son's passions were truly consumed by knowledge after all.

His turned to look at his new grandson, who was grinning and signing something to Diego.  He was the joy in the family.  His boundless energy and zeal had brought life back into Alejandro's home.  He had wanted to adopt Felipe during the first year that he had lived with them, but Felipe refused, afraid his parents would find him and be hurt that he allowed someone to adopt him.  After those two thieves had taken him, in a foiled attempt to use him in a bank robbery, Felipe informed the de la Vegas that he considered them his family, but still refused to be officially adopted.  Felipe claimed he did not want the responsibility.  Somehow, his son managed to finally convince the young man, and Alejandro was content that his family was now complete.

It was good to see Diego laughing again.  Today, Alejandro could see that his son was happy.  There was a gleam in his eyes that had been missing for far too long.  Back was that controlled energy in his movements that Alejandro had not even noticed until it was missing.  Life was being good to Alejandro and his family today.  Except . . ..

His gaze rested on the pale shadow standing next to him.  Victoria was only a silhouette of her former self.  Most people in the _pueblo_ took her new act of nonchalant happiness as genuine, but he did not.  Mendoza also worried about her.  He and the kind-hearted sergeant had spent many hours distressing together over the lovely lady.  She was miserable, and they were the only ones in the entire _pueblo_ who realized it.  Even Diego, normally so attentive to Victoria, had been oblivious to her pain, lost in his own concerns and busy courting Maria.

Victoria was the only blemish on his happy family, having been an unofficial member just a little longer than Felipe.  After her mother died, when his friend lost his common sense in the hatred of revenge, Alejandro drew her into his family.  She had loved him and his family with the same devotion she had for everything else that she deemed important.  However, in the last month, she began distancing herself from them.  Dinner invitations were refused politely.  She treated Alejandro like a regular customer when he came into the tavern, and she shared no information about herself with him.  She was shutting them out, and he did not know why.

Her recent behavior hurt _Don _Alejandro in several ways, especially her attitude towards Felipe's adoption.  Until Diego told Maria and Vicente last week, she had been the only person in the entire _pueblo_ to know about it.  He remembered her excitement and joy when Diego first made his announcement; she had asked many questions.  However, the last few weeks, she acted like she did not know, asking no questions and making no mention of it.  

Victoria knew how important this was to him.  Nonetheless, she had tried to refuse his invitation to the party today, using several excuses including the "I'm too busy" one.  They had, in general, hurt him, but there was one in particular that felt like an emotional lashing:  "Oh, _Don_ Alejandro, I'm sure you would prefer just to have family there."  

He had vehemently denied that statement, refusing to let her leave his family without a fight.  "Ridiculous!  You are family!" he had snapped, his eyes flashing.  Finally, he had used emotional coercion to get her there, telling her that she needed to be there for Felipe.  He knew how she felt for him; she watched him grow from a frightened little boy into a confident young man.  She had looked down at the tray in her hand, and nibbled on her lip.  Finally, Victoria had reluctantly agreed to be here.

However, Felipe's response had been as unexpected.  When _Don_ Alejandro had told the young man she was coming, Felipe had frowned and looked displeased.  His grandson loved Victoria as a sister, had ever since he'd been brought into their home, having been attracted to Victoria's gentle nature.  On the first day he met her, he had fallen asleep in her lap in a show of total trust.  

Today, he acted as if he did not even like her.  Alejandro watched as his son, grandson, and Victoria talked to one another.  Now that she was here, they all seemed to be enjoying each other, but something was different.  There was a distance in their actions that he had never seen before now.  

Taking a sip of his champagne, he wished he knew what was going on with Victoria.  Now that the adoption was complete, Diego seemed to be back on an emotional keel.  Alejandro promised himself that he was going to find out exactly what was going on in her head!

_Enough worrying, de la Vega!  Today is a day of joy and friendship.  Enjoy it,_ he ordered.  Being a former soldier, he knew how to take orders.

***

An hour later, Victoria decided that she was glad she came after all.  It was a wonderful day, and she would not have missed it for the world.  It had been so long since she had laughed with any real joy in her heart that she'd almost forgotten what if felt like.  

Trying to protect herself from the pain, her first instinct had been to refuse _Don_ Alejandro's invitation, knowing it would hurt just to be here.  The de la Vegas had been her family since she was a young woman.  She would no longer be allowed to be a part of their loving family, one she should have one day joined in marriage.  However, she was thankful she agreed to be a part of this celebration, the last de la Vega festivity she would be a part of, and for today, she could pretend she was still a part of this wonderful family.  

A familiar melody danced across the air.  Smiling, Victoria turned to look at the piano, which _Don_ Alejandro had started to play.  He was good, but Diego was excellent.  Since she would probably never have the chance to enjoy his playing again, she selfishly wished Diego were sharing his talent.  His beautiful hands created life from those cold ivory keys, and she had always been drawn into the music when he played.  

Victoria remembered, when she was younger, _Don_ Alejandro playing duets with _Doña_ Elena.  When she was a child, her family was often a dinner guest to the de la Vega _hacienda_.  She smiled as she remembered how nervous her parents had been those first few dinners, but they gradually relaxed as they realized that the de la Vegas accepted them for who they were, and not for their dress or manners.

Her heart began to beat rapidly as Diego slowly walked towards her.  Her eyes drank in the sight of him, not liking the lines that were etched around his eyes.  He had not been sleeping either.  She had hurt him with her actions, but she did not dare explain.  There was no solution.

He smiled at her, trying to act like the friend he had always been.  Looking into his frightened eyes, she realized he did not know she had discovered his secret.  Her eyes rested on the man standing behind Diego.  Felipe's mouth tightened, and she realized he had decided not to tell his father the truth.

Victoria agreed it was for the best.  Diego would only be hurt by knowing, and acting with her in public would be more difficult.  However, Felipe's knowledge meant he could come to her for help if needed.  There was no reason to worry that he would not seek her aid; he would never let his anger interfere with Diego's safety.  Felipe, keeping his own council, would allow her to remain friends with Diego.

_I don't want to be friends with him,_ her heart protested.  _I want to be his wife!  I want to hold him at night, comfort him when he's hurt, and be the one who hears all of his secrets.  I want to have his children, and I want to call Felipe "my son"!_  Her father used to say there was no sense crying over a shattered wine bottle, but she cried every night over her broken relationship with Diego.  He would never be hers to hold or to love.

"I remember this song, all too well," Diego teased her as he stopped before her.  His eyes caressed her, causing a weak sensation in the pit of her stomach.

She smiled at him, remembering the melody, too.  Whenever she was tired or upset, she would hum it to herself.  "I thought I'd hate that tune for life!" she confessed, wrapped up in the memories.

Diego's face fell.  "It brings back bad memories?"  There was pain in his voice, even though he tried to hide it.

"Wonderful memories now," she answered him, refusing to destroy one more of the marvelous moments that they had shared over the years.  "It's just that I think I walked around for weeks hearing it in my head."

Diego chuckled and the haunted look left his eyes.  "I heard it forever, too.  I'm glad you were a fast learner."

"Ah, you say that now!"  Victoria said with an unlady like snort.  "I had to have been the clumsiest woman you ever taught to dance."

Diego nodded gravely in agreement.  "You were, but then you were the most graceful, too."  Victoria, wearing a smile of confusion, looked at him in surprise.  "You are the only one I ever taught to dance."

Victoria laughter rang out across the _hacienda_.  She did not notice all the people who turned to look her at her with smiles on their faces.  "I'm honored, _Señor_.  You were an excellent teacher."

"I had a great student.  We did have fun together those two months.  I'm glad Father asked me to do it," Diego agreed with that little grin of his that she loved.  "Would my lady care to dance?"

Maria, the woman Diego would one day marry, walked over to them.  "Hello, Victoria.  Diego, I've had a wonderful time today."  A beautiful smile covered her face, and her enjoyment and happiness were evident in her voice.

Victoria looked over at her replacement, and some of her earlier joy left.  "Diego feels like dancing," Victoria informed her.

"Oh, I would love to dance!"  Maria's smile grew.  "I haven't had many opportunities to dance since we moved to Los Angeles."

Thankfully, Felipe was walking towards them.  "Why don't you and Diego dance together, while I dance with the newest de la Vega?"  She laughed, but it did not have the real joy it held a moment before.  Felipe's eyes widened in surprise, and she thought he might refuse.  Her recent actions had hurt and confused the young man, but she could not share the entire truth with him, either.

Hurt flashed in Diego's eyes as she walked into Felipe's arms.  He wanted to dance with her, just as she did with him.  If she did, for a few moments, she could imagine that everything was like it was supposed to be.  She could be in his arms, but she dared not take the risk.  She loved him too much.  

Felipe was an excellent dancer.  She taught him as Diego had taught her.  Unlike her though, he was a natural, always relaxed as he led her, but today she could feel the tension in his arms.  He did not want to dance with her, and she understood why.  She did not want to dance either.

She looked over at Diego, with Maria in his arms.  They made a beautiful couple.  The young lady said something that made Diego laugh.  Victoria's heart broke even more.  _Don't think.  Don't feel.  Just do_.  It was how she lived day to day now . . .

***

Diego looked over at Victoria, who was sitting quietly on her horse.  It was late, and _Don _Alejandro had insisted that Diego accompany the _señorita_ back to the _pueblo_.  Even knowing it was going to be torture, Diego quickly agreed, wanting some time alone with her.  Today was the second time he had seen her since she returned his mother's ring; the party had been a wonderful experience filled with pain.  He loved being with her, even though it hurt to see her.

She was so beautiful.  Even in Spain, there had not been a lady that could begin to compare with her beauty.  He loved her.  He accepted the fact he always would, since he was too much like his father:  Once his heart was given, it was bestowed forever.  _Don_ Alejandro had yet to find a woman that matched his Elena, and Diego would never find a woman to match his Victoria.  He acknowledged it, even as he wished she could love him.

He was glad Alejandro had urged Victoria to let him escort her home.  With her, even the silent times were good.  He was able to relax in her presence in a way he had with no one else.  Naturally shy around women, she set him free.  Oh, he was not a dashing, debonair suitor with her by any means; she had to initiate their first kiss.  Even though he withheld his identity from her, he felt like he had shown her all of himself, even if it was as two different people.  Although they had so much in common, Maria had yet to meet the real Diego. 

Thinking of Maria caused Diego to smile sadly.  He knew she had not liked him escorting Victoria home, because while Felipe's face showed sympathy, hers had been twisted in jealousy.  She tried to hide it, but he managed to see it before the normally pleasant expression returned to her face.  

Diego could not blame her for being resentful.  After all, she had to know he was considering asking her to marry him, and now he was escorting another woman home.  He thought her jealousy was a little silly.  After all, everyone _knew_ that he and Victoria were old friends.  Only he and Felipe had any idea that Diego wanted her to be the future _Señora_ de la Vega.

Victoria's melodic voice brought him out of his thoughts.  "Today has been a perfect day, and I refuse to let thoughts of the future ruin it."  

Her announcement startled him.  It came from nowhere, as far as he knew.  Had he missed something she was saying?  "You have to think about the future," he said.  He hoped his tone was teasing and not confused.  Victoria was still being a wonderful mystery to him, one he yearned to solve, but she was not his anymore though.  She was to remain a compelling puzzle.

"Oh, no, Diego, I don't think about the future anymore," she answered him with raw pain in her voice.  What had hurt her?  Was she upset by the end of their engagement as he was?  Maybe--_No!_ Diego thought, glutting the reins in his hand tighter.  _It's been three weeks.  She knows what she wants.  Quit putting your hopes on her.  _

"I remember Felipe when he first came here.  He was so shy and so adorable.  I think with one look, he stole all the ladies' hearts.  I'm happy that he finally agreed to be adopted.  He resisted the idea long enough," Victoria spoke gaily, her silence over.

Diego shook his head, confused by the change in subject as well as her suddenly happy demeanor, but he made no comment.  Riding happily beside her, he let her chat away, saying whatever came to mind.  He listened eagerly to each word, wanting to know what she thought about everything.  He would savor the moment while it lasted.

When they arrived at the _pueblo_'s stable, Victoria smiled and quickly dismounted her horse.  Diego helped her take off the saddle and brush the horse down.  As he gently stroked the horse's mane, he noticed Victoria looking away in the distance, gently biting her lip.  When he finished with the horse, his heart did a funny flip in his chest, but he knew it was time to go.  Time to say goodbye to a dream.  

Standing in front of the tavern, Victoria suddenly nodded and turned to look at him.  Wearing a large smile, she said, "Oh, Diego, I have some of your father's bottles still here.  Will you take them back with you?  I forget to take them earlier."

His heart demanded he stay for a few more minutes while his mind told him to leave as fast as he could.  After quickly tying his horse to the hitching post, he followed her into the tavern.  Even though the gentleman in him said he should not, he enjoying the sway of her hips.  Diego briefly wondered why she was going in the back entrance, the one into the kitchen, a place of memories.  How many times had Zorro stopped here for a too brief moment with his ladylove?

He almost ran into her when she suddenly stopped next to the table.  When she turned, he felt his breath catch.  The look in her eyes was so different from anything he had seen there before.  They reminded of a cat's, sleek and mysterious.  "The bottles are on the counter, but I want to ask you a question first."  Even though the room seemed suddenly so much hotter, Diego prompted her to continue with a nod of his head.  He wished he could take off his caveat and jacket.  Victoria seemed bothered by the heat, too.  Her voice was husky when she asked, "Will you dance with me?"

He stopped breathing for a minute, stunned by the request.  This intoxicating woman challenged and confused him more than anyone else.  Earlier, she had quickly--and politely--refused to dance with him, but now that there was no music she was asking him to lead her around a kitchen.  Diego, desperate to hold her for one more time, simply opened is arms as an answer.

Tiny warning bells were ringing in his mind, but for once, he ignored them.  He just wanted to touch her, to hold her in his arms and feel the gentle rise of her shoulders as she breathed.  For a few minutes, he could breath in the wonderful scent, sunshine and cooking smoke that was hers alone.

At first they stayed the proper distance from each other, doing the normal ballroom dances.  Taking care not to knock her into anything, he twirled her about the kitchen as if they were at one of the palace's balls.  Her eyes held him memorized.  Joy, real from-the-gut happiness, shined from them.  It was back from earlier; she really did enjoy dancing with him.  The other look, the one burning him, frightened him as much as it excited him.  Even as Zorro, she had not looked at him so.

Slowly, as their hearts beat faster, the tempo of the dance changed.  The spirited dances of fun changed into a quick sultry dance of desire.  Diego, knowing better, started holding her closer during each dance.  Victoria made no effort to back away; if anything, she stepped closer.  He began to lead her into dances he knew she did not, could not, know, but she easily followed his body's instructions.  Their breathing grew heavier as Diego showed her examples of moves he had learned in Spain, shown by a friend from Argentina, ones that horrified the proper part of him, but appealed to the wildness that was Zorro.

He spun her, and then drew her into his arms before stopping.  For a moment neither of them dared to breath.  Victoria trembled in his arms.  Or was that him?  Her breathing was in perfect time with his.  Blushing, Victoria looked down to his chest. Later, he could never remember exactly which one of them leaned forward, but he knew one of them did.  Passion exploded.

Wanting her closer, Diego drew her up into his arms and leaned her back on the table.  Her lips were not enough, and he relentlessly began kissing her neck.  As he arrived at her shoulders, he was thankful that she wore the top that allowed him access to their gentle slops.

Meanwhile, Victoria attacked his coat.  Kissing his face, his neck, his ears, she yanked at it, desperate to get it off of him.  Diego, busy kissing her neck again, gave it the final pull, unconcerned where it landed.  His cravat soon joined it on the floor.

It was the feel of Victoria's hands on his chest that startled him back to his senses.  He was out of control!  He, who lived by being in command of himself at all times, was reeling madly.  Feeling him pulling away from her, Victoria kept pressing forward, kissing his neck.  Grasping her arms, he pushed her back from him.

Trying to catch his breath, he looked at Victoria.  Her hair, so perfectly arranged in a bun earlier, now mostly hung in disarray around her face.  Her lips were swollen, and her shirt was twisted, revealing more of the curve of her breast than he could handle at the moment.

His eyes snapped back to look at her face.  "Victoria," he began.  Closing his eyes, he took two deep breaths.  Shaking, he looked at the woman before him and whispered, "This is not right."

Victoria, her hands still holding the edges of his shirt, glanced down to her lap.  When her eyes met his, she nodded.  "Tomorrow.  Tomorrow, it will be wrong, but tonight there is no future."

Remembering her earlier words, Diego repeated his:  "You have to think about the future."

Shaking her head, Victoria disagreed.  "I don't!  And you don't either for tonight!"  She leaned forward and gently laid her lips on his chest.  If she had kissed him like before, the intense way they had recklessly jumped into earlier, he might have been able to resist.  Instead, her light little caresses continued, and he was lost.

Gently, he reached up and put his hand through her hair, pulling her away from his chest.  Looking into her eyes, he feared that after tonight he would lose his sanity.  However, resisting her would be impossible.

He leaned forward to give her a soft kiss on the lips, like their first one in the garden.  Slowly, it became warmer and more passionate.  He pulled away from her for a second, to make sure she still wanted to proceed foolishly.  Her nod and her smile were answers enough.  Groaning, he gathered up into his arms, cradling her tightly to his own body.  Then, he returned his lips to hers and walked out the kitchen and up the stairs to her room.


	9. Paradise Lost

He knew immediately what had awakened him

He knew immediately what had awakened him.  Shaking his head, he tried to clear it of the images.  His own pleas, beginning for forgiveness, rang in his head.  For the first time in years, he hoped his mother could not watch him from above.  Tonight, her son had not been the gentleman she raised him to be.

Turning to look at Victoria, he remembered how angry her parents had been at him in the nightmare.  He understood it perfectly.  The de la Vegas and Escalantes were old friends, and friends honored one another.  Taking their daughter to bed without the sanctity of marriage was not a way of honoring them or their memory.

In the dream, he had stood in front of a tribunal made up of the three parents no longer here.  His arguments of love and hope had fallen on deaf ears.  Sighing, Diego focused on Victoria.  He would handle the guilt later.

Her hair spilled out around her face.  The moonlight seemed be to drawn to her more than anything else in the room.  Diego did not mind, though.  It was where he wanted it to, where he needed it.  He was a realist by nature, and his instincts were remarkably accurate.  Tonight did not mean his life was going to be different.  All of Victoria's comment about the future warned him of that fact.

He laid his head on her chest, enjoying the warmth of her body beneath him.  Her arms wrapped around him, and she moaned.  For a few minutes he thought she was still asleep, but when she gently began stroking his hair he knew she was awake.

Every muscle in his body tensed, so she started caressing his shoulders instead.  He heard her sighing, and somehow managed to tense even more.  Waiting for her words, he felt like a condemned man.  He waited for her judgment to join their parents.  "I'm hungry," she declared.

Diego felt the breath leave him in quick stream of air.  He kissed her softly on the stomach before laughing.  "I somehow expected you to say something else," he admitted, as he looked up to her.

Victoria's eyes stayed focused on him for a minute.  Finally, sighing, she shook her head.  "It's still tonight," she said.  Diego understood and nodded himself.

"Well, _Señorita _Escalante, I guess we need to go see if the owner of this fine establishment has anything to feed you," he teased, pulling himself up so he was sitting in the bed.

Laughing, Victoria also sat up.  Leaning over to kiss him on the lips, she replied with a saucy grin, "I hear she's an excellent cook."

"Funny," Diego said, standing to pull up his pants, "I've heard the same thing myself.  Do you think she might fix me something to eat, too?"

She frowned as if she were thinking about it.  "Well, she might, but I bet it will cost you."

"How much do you think it would be?"  Diego started to put his arm through his shirt sleeve, then thinking about it, threw it over the back of a chair.

Victoria sauntered over to him and stepped into his arms.  "I don't really know, but I hear she's a generous sort.  She lets you pay after you eat."

Diego's stomach twisted in nervousness and excitement.  "Really?"  He put his hands on Victoria's hips and said:  "I guess we need to go find her then."

"I guess so," Victoria said in a husky voice.  Then, she kissed him quickly on the lips and laughed as she walked out the door.

***

He followed her down the steps, enjoying the view.  The thin robe caressed her skin, showing every curve of her body.  His eyes strayed to her hips as she swayed into the kitchen.  Victoria was a beautiful woman, but more importantly to him, she was an incredible person whose spirit and kindness drew him to her in a way physical beauty never would.

Looking around her kitchen for a moment, Diego saw the business owner working.  It only took her a moment to decide their menu and she quickly went about gathering the ingredients.  Picking up a knife, she turned to look at him.  Then, wearing a grin, she handed it to Diego, along with a potato and onion.  "I'm sure even you know how to use a knife."  Her eyes twinkled.  

With a bashful grin, Diego took the items from her hands; she had no clue how good he was with a knife.  He was very skilled with any blade; however, he had never used those skills in a kitchen before now.  He started to peel and dice, as Victoria poured a little olive oil into a skillet.  When she had placed the skillet in the fire to heat it, she turned to watch him work.  She began to laugh.  "What?" he demanded, certain he was doing everything right.

"I should have given you two potatoes!  Most of that one went with the peel," she answered in-between giggles.  Looking down at the discarded potato skin, he admitted she was right.  He had the skill, but tonight he did not have the concentration.  Most of his thoughts were staying on Victoria.  He was enjoying just being with her, even though it was, he feared, a fool's paradise.  What would the morning bring?

She apparently saw the question on his face.  "Tonight is tonight, Diego," she repeated from earlier.  "We aren't thinking about the future right now, remember?"

He nodded, looking down to dice the onion.  Her non-answer was answer enough.  Tomorrow, his heart would be more battered.  There were no plans in Victoria's mind of having a relationship with Diego de la Vega, anymore than she planned to continue her relationship with Zorro.  Diego's mind, the curious thing that it was, demanded to know why tonight even happened.

Then, he looked up into her face.  He saw fear in her face, fear that he was going to insist they talk about what happened earlier, and fear that he would leave if she refused.  It might be a fool's paradise, but it was paradise, if only for a night.  Diego smiled at her, and Victoria returned it, even if it was somewhat shaky.

***

Later, much later, Diego and Victoria lay in front of the fire.  While busy cooking their omelets, Victoria had sent him to fetch some blankets from upstairs, telling him she wanted to lay them in front of the fire and have a picnic.  Diego thought her choice of location strange--after all, her bed would have been a more comfortable picnic locale--but he had been unable to deny her even that request.  So, after Diego arranged the blankets, and Victoria brought over the steaming plates of eggs, they had eaten their omelets in content silence.

Afterwards, they began reminiscing.  Victoria sat up, holding her side because she was laughing so hard.  "Oh, I remember!  Your father was so angry, Diego.  I think that was the only time I saw you get a spanking," she said after finally catching her breath.

Diego remained reclined on the blanket.  He reached over, took her hand, and gently began to stroke it.  Her hands, callused from hard work, were still lovely.  She had the same graceful fingers as his mother, and Diego believed, given the instruction, she would be as good of a piano player.  "Oh, I received more than one spanking, but I didn't get many," he admitted.

She looked down at their entwined fingers.  "You were always too well-behaved."

It was Diego's turn to laugh hard.  "No, I was fortunately smart enough not to get caught too often!  My father would still be furious if he found out about some of the stuff I did as a child.  I never did anything that could hurt anyone else, but I was always exploring and challenging myself.  I lived in terror he would find out that I was jumping canyons on our horses."

"Knew you wouldn't be able to sit on a horse for a month?" she asked playfully.  She gently began caressing his hair with her free hand.

Grasping it for a moment, Diego kissed her palm, enjoying the fact that he could make her shiver.  "I wasn't afraid of the punishment.  Even as a young boy, I understood taking responsibility for myself.  I did the crime; I would handle the correction, if caught.  No, Victoria, I was afraid he would ask me not to do it anymore.  I was never able to resist him, when he made requests.  Not then anyway," he said sadly.  Shaking his head, he finished, "I didn't want to disappoint him."

Victoria's eyes told him she understood.  She had become an adult too early herself.  Leaning over, she kissed him softly on the lips.  Suddenly, she straddled him, and put one hand on each side of his face.  "I never knew that you were so daring.  Whenever you came to the _pueblo _you were also the prim and proper Diego de la Vega.  Then, whenever we came to your _hacienda_, you always quickly ran off to play with Ramon and Francisco, ignoring all my pleas to let me join you all."

Laughing softly at her grin, he said, "I apologize, _Señorita_, but I was young and stupid back then.  I thought I didn't like playing with 'dumb girls.'"  Lifting his head, he gently kissed her throat.  Noticing the way her pulse quickened, he reached up to kiss that spot.  He smiled when she trembled.

"So, you like to play with 'dumb girls' now?" she replied, her voice lower and huskier.  He could hear her unsteady breathing.  Only his intelligence kept him from grinning like a fool because he could affect her so.

"I long ago stopped calling ladies 'dumb girls,' and, oh, yes, I found out that women can be very fun to play with," Diego teased, suddenly twisting so that Victoria was pinned beneath him.

Laughing a husky laugh he had not heard before tonight--but one that he was already madly in love with--she said, "I'm not sure that I was ever a 'dumb' girl though.  _I_ never got caught stealing apples from _Don_ Sebastian," she teased him, running her fingers lightly up his chest.  She smiled as he shivered.

Diego shrugged, more interested in kissing her lips than talking.  "I didn't, either.  But, then, I never stole any apples from him myself."  He slowly started kissing down the front of her neck.

Victoria stiffened in his arms.  He pulled back to look at her, worried that he had hurt or offended her in some way.  Gone was her laughter; in his place was confusion.  "You just told me--I remember--"

He reluctantly left his self-appointed task so he could answer her question.  "I was caught with the apple cores, but I didn't steal the apples," he admitted, telling her a secret he had shared with no one else.

Victoria shook her head.  "You didn't deny it to your father, Diego.  I was there, trembling in fear for you.  He whipped you, Diego.  If you had told him the truth, he would have believed you," she said with certainty.  _Don _Alejandro had raised his son to tell the truth; everyone took Diego's word as fact in the territory.

Touched that she was so upset about an event that had happened over twenty years ago, he softly kissed her eyelids.  "I was giving the real thief a chance to step forward," he told her, softly wiping the hair away from her face.  "He chose not to do it."

"I'm sorry."  Her eyes sad, she gently began stroking his face, too.

Diego shook his head and then grinned.  "Don't be, Victoria.  There isn't any reason for it.  Justice was done that day.  Ramón took care of it for me," he confessed the rest of the story to her, the part he had wanted to hide.

Victoria's eyes widened.  "Ramón?  My brother, Ramón?" 

"You remember that time Ramón whipped Francisco?"

Victoria nodded, frowning.  "It was the only time they ever got in a fight--well against each other anyway.  Francisco had two black eyes--What a minute!  Are you saying Francisco stole those apples?"  Diego knew the answer was on his face.  "You should have told on him, Diego!  _Father_ would have taken care of him."

Diego, while enjoying her outrage on his behalf, wanted to return to his previous work.  Kissing Victoria was much better than talking about apples stolen so long ago.  "As would have _Don_ Sebastian, and _Don_ Sebastian would have taken care of your father, and . . ."

"What do you mean?" Victoria asked, her hands again beginning to caress his chest.  He could see by the half-smile on her lips, she knew exactly what effect she was having on him.

"Victoria, as much as it pains me to admit, my punishment was easy because I was Alejandro de la Vega's son.  _Don_ Sebastian wouldn't have dared to whip me, and the citizens of Los Angeles never considered shunning me for it.  I was a _caballero_'s son, so my 'antics' could be laughed at amongst them, but Francisco would have--You know what it can be like here, sometimes.  It isn't as noticeable here in Los Angeles, but--"

"We live in two very different classes," Victoria said, dropping her hand away from his chest.  He thought he saw a hint of tears in her eyes, but maybe it was just the reflection of the firelight.  "I know."

"_We_ don't; you are one of the most successful and wealthiest people in this _pueblo_, but your father and mother didn't have your business ability."  Diego smiled down at her, noticing the shuttered look on her face.  "Besides, class mattered more here then.  I think my father's stubborn refusal to respect a class system helped end most of the separation.  Even when I returned from Spain, I could see that the lines were blurred, even more than they had been before I left.  Of course, Los Angeles was a relief after Madrid."

Her face drawn into a frown, she asked, "What do you mean?"

Victoria did not seem to be enjoying their conversation, but Diego could not say he was either.  The differences amongst the life of a _caballero_ and the peons who worked for them were large, and it was never an easy subject to discuss.  However, Diego wanted to talk to her about it, explain where his thoughts were.

He would have to wait before he could start kissing her again.  He sat up, and then gently drew her up to sit beside him.  Smiling sadly, she crawled in front of him and sat between his legs.  Leaning back against his chest, she stared into the fire.  He ran his hands through her hair as he spoke.

"I was raised to respect a man for who he was, and not _what_ he was.  Even worse, my father allowed me to read the thoughts of John Locke and Thomas Payne.  I studied the short little history of our neighbors to the east.  My mind was open to so many ideas about individual values, and I saw the problems here somewhat.  However, I was used to the lines that are drawn here in the territories.  Here, we all know how dependent we are on everyone else, but there--" Diego shook his head at memories he did not want to have.  "There, the lines are almost unbreakable.  In California, especially in Los Angeles, _caballero_s alone try to maintain the status quo, but, in Spain, everyone _knows_ their place and stays there.  If a _peon _tries to improve himself, he's not only shunned by the elite, but by his own class."

Victoria slowly relaxed, leaning back into his arms easier.  "It doesn't sound like a place I would want to live."

Diego laughed.  "Honestly?  I don't either.  It's strange; here in the colonies, I'm months, if not years, behind the scientific discoveries that I love.  In Madrid, I could be at the heart of the community, hearing about experiments months before a paper was even published, but I don't want to live there.  I want to live here," he told her, slowly stroking her arm.  It was something he had never considered, but he knew it was true.  "California is my home, and it is where I want to live the rest of my life."

"The wildness here calls to your soul," she said so softly that Diego strained to hear her.  Surprised by her statement, he admitted that it was true.  The wild beauty of his home soothed a restless energy that was in him, the one so few people knew about or even suspected.

Victoria shook her head.  Standing suddenly, she turned and held out her hand.  "I want to dance some more."

Diego smiled, understanding her desire to leave the discussion.  He took her hand, and brought her close to his body.  "I would have thought that you had enough dancing for the night."  He saw she understood that he was teasing her.

"You're my favorite dance partner, and we don't get to dance together much," she whispered softly into his ear.

Diego tensed, but forced himself to relax.  He knew what she was saying.  After tonight, she believed there would be no more dancing for them, at least not with each other.  Diego refused to feel the pain, putting it away as he had so much other pain over the years.  Tonight was tonight, and he was going to enjoy his paradise, and the pain could be worried about tomorrow, when he time to think about it.  Smiling, he led her across the floor.

***

Sometime before dawn--the time when the dark of twilight had left but the sun had not yet rose--Diego woke up disoriented.  Zorro's training and experience came to the forefront, and he immediately began noting things about his environment.  He was lying on a floor, in front of a fireplace, instead of his bed.

Memories of last night flooded his mind, causing him to gasp in joy, guilt, and heartache.  He reached over for Victoria, but she was no longer beside him.  Lifting his eyes, he saw her picking up her discarded robe.  She was a beautiful sight to see first thing in the morning, he thought, remembering all of his former dreams about seeing her every morning.  His heart tightened in his chest.  Would today bring more heartache or fulfilled dreams?  The practical part of his nature knew the answer, but the romantic insisted that Victoria would realize the truth any moment.

She finally looked at him after her hands finished tying the cord of her robe around her waist.  "You should get dressed.  The garrison will start waking up soon," she told him in a flat, emotionless voice.  "You need to go home."

Diego stood, afraid to speak.  What could he say to make her love him?  He slowly drew up his pants as he watched Victoria.  She had turned her back to him, and she was standing as still as tree on a windless day.  Gone was the laughing lover of last night.

If he made his confessions, would it matter to her?  Would it help his cause or harm it?  It did not matter:  He needed to tell her the truth, no matter what the outcome.  He should have shared it with her and his father long ago.  They, along with Felipe, were the most important people to him, and he had spent years hiding from them.  

He opened his mouth to confess both his love and his identity.  "Victoria, I--"

She twirled around suddenly, quickly placing a finger over his lips as she shook her head.  Diego's heart broke when he saw the tears streaming down her face.  She was not as casual about what happened as she was trying to pretend.  "No, Diego!  Last night was last night, and today is today.  While I don't have to think about the future, you do."

Diego searched the eyes of the woman he loved, hoping desperately to discover a truth.  She was the only puzzle he had never been able to work.  Every time he thought he had her figured out, some new piece that he had never seen appeared.  His heart told him that she loved him, but his mind argued that she would not lie about her feelings--or anything else, for that matter.  It was an argument that his heart had not been able to defeat.  

Feeling his heart pound in his throat, Diego took a deep breath.  "Victoria, you don't understand.  I--"

Again, she violently shook her head, her hair flying around her face, hiding it away from him.  It was then he knew she would refuse to listen.  "I understand more than you think, Diego.  I know a lot more, too."  She finally looked into his eyes.  Both of them stood silent and still for a heartbeat.  "We can tell ourselves that last night was satisfying a long-held curiosity."

Diego thought of all the punches he had received from bandits over the years.  None was to close to causing the gut-wrenching pain he was feeling now.  "Long-held curi--" 

Victoria, with tears, in her eyes, made a little 'z' in the air.  The image of the woman standing before him caused him to remember another moment with her: as Diego, he told her that she looked as happy as a lamb.  When he asked the reason, she had signed a little 'z' in much the same way she did today.  A crying Victoria and a smiling Victoria--both of them were new artillery for his heart and mind in their month-long war.

Diego stopped talking.  Then, "You know," was all he could whisper.  She slowly nodded, with the tears still glistening in her eyes, but none of them slipped past her defenses.  Her cheeks remained dry.  "How long?" he heard himself ask, not really wanting to know the answer, but desperate to hear it.  He felt numb.

"A month," she admitted, choking it out past trembling lips.

The answers to all the "whys" that plagued him for so long were suddenly clear.  Victoria saw the ordinary man beneath the mask, and knew she could not love him, no matter what promises she had given.  After closing his eyes, and reminding himself that he was a man, he reached for her.  To his surprise, she willing let him hold her for a few minutes.  Finally, he bent down to kiss her.  It was a soft kiss, a kiss of regret and longing, and of goodbye.  He pulled away, reached for his clothes, and left her alone in the kitchen as he had so many times before as Zorro.  Only this time, he left through the curtain.  Paradise was lost.


	10. A Proposal of Marriage

Alejandro de la Vega had always been an early riser

Alejandro de la Vega had always been an early riser.  Life on the ranch--and his father--demanded it, and life in the military had required an even earlier wake-up time.  After his return to the ranch, he had decided to keep the hours he learned as a soldier.  The earlier hour gave him some much-needed time alone.  Alejandro generally got most of his work--the paper kind at least--done before the first servant even woke up for the day.

Walking into his study, he heard the front door of his _hacienda_ open.  He turned, his muscles tensing in preparation of battle, only to find Diego slowly walking through the doorway.

Fury erupted and overcame Alejandro's carefully laid defense.  Diego needed room.  However, he was also a gentleman.  Alejandro had seen to that and would not let the man forget it now. 

Diego had not returned, yet, when he himself had gone to bed, but Alejandro went to sleep expecting his son to soon return.  Returning the next morning was unacceptable to _Don _Alejandro.  "Diego," he began, his voice coming out even harsher than he meant.

"Father, I can't--" his son tried to interrupt, holding up a hand.

He continued to lecture anyway.  "It's all right to decide to spend the occasional night at the tavern, _without sending word_, when you're a carefree bachelor.  However, you are considering marriage now, my son, to a woman who was a guest here last night.  Fortunately, Vicente had to leave soon after you left, so they weren't waiting for you."

He shook his head in disbelief at his son's lack of responsibility.  Had he done such a horrible job as father?  "If Maria had stayed here, Diego, waiting for you, there is no telling what she would have thought about your failure to return home."  Sighing, he rubbed his hand over his eyes.  "Women worry more than men, Diego.  Who knows what she would have thought?  Maybe even something as silly as you spent the night with Victoria!"  

Diego's eyes flickered up to look _Don _Alejandro in the face for a moment before returning to look at the floor.  His son seemed to be even paler than before, so _Don _Alejandro forced himself to calm down.  Maybe Diego had been ill after getting to the tavern.  It was no excuse for not sending a message, but . . ..

"You've spent years just going wherever you wanted without a word.  I gave you too much freedom as a child.  I know that, Diego, but you are a man now, thinking about taking on a man's responsibilities.  _I_ would like to know where you are, but a wife deserves it.  Not only does she deserve it, she has the right to demand it."

Diego made no response outside of slumping against the wall.  Knowing he had said all he had to on the subject, _Don _Alejandro quickly let out his breath, and turned to go on into his study.  He clenched his fist in an old habit of frustration.  Sometimes, there was no talking to that boy!

He stopped in his tracks when the memory of the look Diego had given him a few moments earlier flashed across his memory.  He remembered the look well, even if he had not seen it in years from Diego.  As he slowly turned to look at his son, his belly tight with shock, he remembered all the times a little boy had given him that look.  

Diego, even though freer than most boys, had been somewhat wild as a child.  Incredibly smart, too.  However, he had been caught a few times.  _Don _Alejandro had often hated to punish him, knowing that Diego's guilt for causing his father grief was harder on the boy than anything he could do.  The look of guilty acknowledgment Diego gave always twisted his father's heart.  

Staring at the slumped form of Diego, his own words echoed in his mind.  "--thought you had spent the night with Victoria."  Taking a deep breath, _Don _Alejandro prepared himself to have one of the most difficult talks he had ever had with his son.  The only two that had been worse were when he told Diego his mother was dying and that she was dead.  

"You spent the night with Victoria."  He had meant to ask it, but it came out as a statement.  It did not matter.  Truth or fiction, his son would tell the truth.  Diego's refusal to look at him was more than enough answer.

"I raised you better than that, Diego.  I helped raise Victoria better than that!  What were you thinking?  Well, that's obvious.  You weren't!"  Alejandro felt like he had been kicked in the gut by a horse.  As many times as he expressed frustration with Diego, he had never been as hurt or as disappointed as he was right now.

His son finally looked at him, trembling against the door.  He very much reminded _Don _Alejandro of that boy, more frightened by the thought of disappointing his father than of the punishment he was to receive.  He slid down the door to sit on the floor, as he had once as a child.  "I don't understand," was all he said.

"Well, you understood someth--" Alejandro stopped talking when Diego's appearance finally registered.  His actions reminded Alejandro of the child, but there was one time in particular that was burned in his mind.

Diego, out playing with a friend on the range, came home late one evening, expecting to be punished for missing his dinner.  He had stopped at the door, seeing the truth on his father's face before Alejandro even had a chance to tell him.  He had sank to the floor and said, "I don't understand."  Alejandro had simply hugged him, not understanding his wife's death either.

Diego's whole demeanor was of the child deep in grief.  Only now he was a man.  Gone was the happiness of yesterday, and in its place was a deep and incredible pain.  Alejandro had seen men come in from the battlefield looking less traumatized than his son did at the moment.  What had happened in the _pueblo_ last night?

Fear in his heart, he sank down to his knees in front of Diego, all of his anger now directed at himself.  He had done again what he had promised himself he would not do again:  Without asking any questions, or finding out any details, he had simply started finding fault with his son immediately.  Was he doomed to keep repeating the same behavior that had driven Diego away from him?  Alejandro was determined that he would now be there for his son, and he _would_ break his old behavior pattern.  He had to, or he risked losing his child.  "Diego," he said softly, as a plea and an apology.  He wanted Diego to understand his father loved him and would there for him, willing to just listen.

Diego, sniffing, looked up at him.  The raw pain in his eyes made _Don _Alejandro ache.  No father wanted to see his child hurting.  "I don't understand!  I don't," he said, his voice cracking.  He shook his head.  "She _said_ that she loved me, that she would wait for me.  She said _she_ understood.  After she almost married Juan, I told her.  I _told_ her, that losing her would devastate me more than any weapon the _alcalde_ could find.  I told her, and she said she would wait, that she felt like she was helping my cause!  When I gave her Mother's ring, she reassured me that she would love the man beneath the mask, that _his_ heart was mine!  I believed her."

Diego put the palm of his hands over his eyes, rubbing them hard.  "When she found out, she just--She didn't even tell me first, Father.  I found out from _Don_ Vicente!  She announced to the whole _pueblo_ before she told me.  She told _you _first," he said, laughing hysterically for a just a second. 

Alejandro's blood chilled.  He knew the sound.  It was the laugh of a man, forced to find humor or go mad from the pain.  He had felt the same way after his Elena had died.  Diego had been the only reason he had found to keep going.  Diego took a deep breath, and said with hurt and anger fighting in his voice, "She knew, Father.  She knew, and she didn't even give 'boring' Diego a chance."  

He looked at his grieving son, unsure what to say, knowing that no words would bring comfort.  So many people tried useless words to comfort him after Elena left him alone.  He simply reached over and put his hand on Diego's knee, squeezing it in a show of support.  He wanted to know that his father was there, perhaps for the first time since he had come home from Spain.

Oh, there were a million questions racing through his mind, a million remarks and apologizes he wanted to give.  He understood what Diego was admitting in his words:  His son was Zorro, a fact he had resisted believing.  He had continued resisting it, even as he watched his son mourn the loss of Victoria.  However, Alejandro de la Vega was going to focus on his son's needs, instead of everyone else's, for a change.

***

At the tavern, Victoria was working with Mendoza on a new recipe, trying to keep her mind off Diego.  Once, when she had a sprained ankle, Mendoza had volunteered to help in the tavern's kitchen.  At first, he had been nervous and clumsy, but eventually he ended up being an excellent cook.  He knew what he liked to eat, so he had a natural talent for combining ingredients into mouth-watering dishes.  Since then, Mendoza and Victoria would spend a few hours a week creating and perfecting new dinners to be served at the tavern.

_Ever since I got engaged to Diego_, Victoria thought sadly, too tired to even feel sad at the thought.  She spent all morning thinking about him, unable to return to sleep after he left.  She hurt him so badly with her words, but desperation for him to leave forced her to say them.  If he had said anything to her, she would have been unable to resist him.  She would have jumped into his arms, and maybe even confessed the truth.  Shaking her head, she forced herself to get back to work.

Last night had been wonderful, a dream fulfilled.  Struck by the thought, Victoria stopped to look at the table in the middle of her kitchen.  She remembered the feel of his lips on her skin, and the feeling of his fingers grasping her hips.  Walking on, Victoria decided that she was glad her first experience had been with Diego, even if it was outside the bounds of marriage.  She knew that she should feel guilty, and she would have hours of repentance to do when she made her confession, but it did not matter.  For once, she had lived for the moment.  She had stolen a piece of her one-time future back, and she refused to ever regret it, no matter what the rest of life brought with it.

In the middle of cutting an onion, Victoria's hand left the table and lay on her stomach.  Looking down, she told herself it was the onion that was making her cry.  Getting back to chopping, her mind told her that she could lose everything if Diego's seed had taken root in her womb.  However, her heart, the silly thing, prayed that it had.  Maybe a new life would begin a new life.   

Shaking her head at her own thought, Victoria returned to work yet again, although her thoughts refused to leave last night.  She had enjoyed the time spent with Diego even more than she believed possible.  At last she had been allowed to see the real man behind the masks:  He had hidden nothing from her last night, allowing her to catch a glimpse of all the pieces that made him so uniquely him.  Talking about his mother, he let her see a little grieving boy who had never forgotten the loss.  Then, when he talked about his father, she had been allowed to look at a young man who craved his father's approval.  Diego had talked, and she had watched and listened.  She craved more, but knew that desire would never be filled, having received the only little piece she was allowed.  For it, she gave up even the chance of having a friendship with the man she loved.

"Are you all right, Victoria?"  Mendoza asked, obviously aware of her distracted mind.  

When she looked over at him, she noticed that he was done cutting all of his large pile of vegetables.  Again, she had been standing still, lost in her thoughts.  She smiled and shook her head in a gesture of amusement, even as she resisted the urge to scream no she was not all right and never would be again.  During the past month, it was an urge she fought every time Mendoza and _Don_ Alejandro had asked her that simple question, and they had done it often.  

"Be an actress," she heard that horrible voice say in her mind.  So, she smiled at Mendoza, and lied.  "I'm fine."  She even repeated the lie to herself inside.  However, she knew the truth.  Her heart would never heal.  A part of it had gone with Diego this morning.  "Just busy thinking," she explained, for once telling the truth.  

Mendoza began preparing his spices and herbs, focusing on the task in front of him.  "You don't look like you're fine," Mendoza said softly, cutting the plants in front of him into tiny pieces.

Victoria, startled, turned to look at him again.  He had always respected her borders before today.  Even _Don_ Alejandro had been unwilling to cross the invisible lines she had drawn around herself.  Touched that he cared so much, she was frightened, too, knowing she would never survive under close scrutiny.  Her carefully made walls would crumble if Mendoza, or _Don_ Alejandro, did the slightest pushing.  The cracks from the pressure were beginning to show.

"Thank you, Mendoza," she said, her voice wavering some.  "You are a wonderful friend.  I'm lucky to have you," she told him, wanting him to know how much she appreciated him.  She would soon lose even _Don_ Alejandro, like she had lost Diego and Felipe, since he would eventually understand that she was distancing herself from him and his family.  A gentleman, he would respect her right to do so.  Then, there would only be Mendoza.

The kind sergeant, his face flushed, grinned and glanced at something far away from her.  Victoria was glad that she had told him, even if it embarrassed.  She had let too many years go by without telling those that were important to her how much she cherished them.

"You say that because you like having someone else in the kitchen occasionally," Mendoza said with only a touch of his embarrassment showing.  

"True," she laughed, struggling to enjoy the day.  For some reason, she remembered how it felt when her mother died.  Every day, she had looked for a reason to laugh.  "There is a large increase in the number of customers on the days you do the cooking."

"I want to--I want to th-thank you for allowing me to help.  It means a lot t-to me.  I feel good knowing that I'm good at something," he told her, stuttering and mumbling.

Victoria walked over to him and patted his cheek.  "Your good at a lot of things, Mendoza, and you are an _excellent_ cook.  If you opened up your own tavern, I'd be in trouble."

He grinned at her, and shook his head.  "I could never run a tavern.  I'm no good at books."

She handed him the meat she had chopped.  "Get someone you trust to do the book work.  You are a great joy with the customers, and you are a wonderful cook.  Plus, all the men--and some of the women--love coming in just to hear your stories.  _That_ makes customers come in and buy, not bookwork."

Mendoza, squaring his shoulders, grinned.  She hid her amusement when she noticed him reach for his tunic.  He found an apron in its place.  Suddenly, the laughter bubbled out from her, and Mendoza's laughter soon joined her.

After they had calmed down and began lunch for the day, he returned to the other conversation.  "I think I would enjoy it--running a tavern I mean--but I would never leave Los Angeles.  It is my home.  It took me a long time to be able to come back here after I joined the army, and I never want to leave it again.  I could never open a place to compete with you.  You are my friend, and besides, your tavern is the best in the territory.  If I want to help run a tavern here, I would have to marry you," he teased her.  Every so often, he proposed in fun.  After all, her cooking skills were fabulous, and that was his only requirement for a wife.

She stopped in mid-stir.  _Marry Mendoza_.  She watched as he carefully began mixing his ingredients for the sauce.  He was a wonderful friend, and he would be a great help at the tavern.  She wanted her own family, and the man she wanted was going to end up married to someone else.  As she heard _Don _Vicente tell _Don _Alejandro one day, friendship could make an excellent basis for marriage if there was no love.  At the time, her heart had broken at the thought since they were talking about Diego and Maria, but now . . ..

Mendoza loved her, just as she loved him--as a friend.  He would never fall in love with her, a fact that made Victoria grateful.  With all the other men she had dated this past month, she saw a gleam in their eyes, something that told her they could fall in love with her.  She only wanted one man's heart, and she had been forced to give it back.  She never wanted another man to love her, because her heart was taken.  She did not want anyone to live waiting, hopelessly, for her to return his love.

Mendoza would be happy helping her at the tavern, since it would give him a place to belong.  She would make him a good wife, even though she did not love him.  His standard of living would be better as a tavern owner than it was as a soldier.

"If that's a proposal," she began, her hands shaking, and her mind unable to believe what she was about to do.  "I accept."

Mendoza dropped some carrots on the floor.  His mouth opened and closed like a fish.  She could tell he was about to refuse, when he suddenly looked at her closely.  She knew what he was seeing; she had seen it in the mirror that morning.  Standing before him was a pale ghost of a woman, one who no longer cared to look her best.  Her clothes hung from her slender body, made for her long before she had lost so much weight.  He was going to reject her proposal.

"I would be honored, _Señorita_ Victoria," he said instead of what she expected.  Tears welled in her eyes.  He was a good man, and she hoped that she would make him happy.  Last night, she had stolen a piece of the future that was supposed to have been hers, but now she had to live the future without Diego.


	11. Alejandro's Heart Grows Heavier

Felipe watched Don Alejandro carefully close the door to Diego's room

Felipe watched _Don_ Alejandro carefully close the door to Diego's room.  Grandfather and grandson shared identical grim looks.  Both of them were worried about the man sleeping on the other side of the door.  _Don _Alejandro jerked his head towards the library, indicating he wanted Felipe to follow him.  He was unwilling to take the chance of any noise waking up his son, even though he doubted a cannon blast would wake him at the moment.  Diego had fallen into a deep, exhausted slumber.  Alejandro had watched him sleep, and wondered how long it had been since he had rested.  

He sank down in his seat by the fireplace, exhausted himself and emotionally drained from comforting Diego.  He did not even have the energy to be mad at Victoria for the damage she had done.  What had she been thinking about last night?  She had to have known the pain she was going to inflict on Diego with her confession.

Alejandro watched Felipe, who was standing in front of him.  He wished the boy would sit, but he knew it would be useless to ask.  Since the young man was so full of nervous energy, he would be unable sit still for long.  As it was, the young man was already finding it impossible to be stationary while he was standing.  He was bouncing on his toes, and his hands were moving from place to place--hips, side, crossed, uncrossed.  Alejandro smiled, relaxing.  Felipe, even without trying, had a way of cheering him, but then grandchildren always had a way of cheering up their grandparents.

"You know," he said softly, having realized it soon after Felipe woke up to find a despondent Diego sitting in the library with his father.  It was easily apparent that the young man was used to looking after Diego.

Felipe looked at him, scratched his arm, and then nodded.  "How long?"  He answered by holding up his index finger.  "You've known since the beginning?  Day one?" Alejandro asked, surprised despite himself.  He had thought that there was nothing more that could surprise him anymore.  In the last few months, he had found a son that he had not known was missing, only to lose him to death before having a chance to know him.  

Then, he had realized that the son he thought he knew did not really exist.  Diego had so many secrets from him, mysteries that had only been shared today.  

Finally, Victoria, a woman he loved as a daughter, was behaving in strange manner.  She had become the _pueblo_ flirt, declaring her love for Zorro an "infatuation", and hurting his son terribly.  Her secrets were still her own, but he would fight to find them.  His son deserved answers, and Victoria needed to deal with whatever issues she had with Diego.

"What other secrets do you have from me?" he asked softly, somehow knowing the man did.  He wished for Felipe to have been honest with him over the years, but the odds were against it.

The fact Felipe was scratching his arm again, and not looking at him, told him to be prepared for some information.  Apparently, most of the people in his life had secrets.  Taking a deep breath, he waited for Felipe to share, praying that he be able to accept it without any censure.  Too much time had been spent reproaching Diego over the years.  It was time to listen to those that he loved, instead of complaining.

Felipe glanced down at his feet, took a deep breath, and finally calmed.  Squaring his shoulders, like a soldier reporting failure to a superior officer, he said, "I can hear."  He said . . ..

Alejandro, unable to stop himself, flinched.  Whatever he had been expecting, this revelation exceeded it by magnitudes.  It hurt knowing that Felipe had not shared such an important confidence with him.  "Obviously, you can speak, too," he replied, his voice only a little shaky.

Felipe looked at him, tears in his eyes, and slowly nodded.  "I'm working on it.  It's new.  I've been trying for years," he shared, his voice shaking in emotion.

Nodding himself, Alejandro stood and walked over to his grandson.  There would time for questions later.   He thought, with a silent laugh, that he needed to walk around with a piece of parchment with him, so he could write down all the questions as they struck him.  Diego and Felipe would be sick of being interrogated when he got done with them.  He reached out and hugged his grandchild tightly.  He felt Felipe's trembling stop.  "I'll ask you questions later," he told him, enjoying the fact that Felipe could hear the words.  He would have to take some time to accept all the new information swirling around him today.  "I'm so happy that you can hear and speak.  It will make life so much easier for you."

Felipe nodded his head in Alejandro's chest.  "I know.  Diego and I were going to tell you right after the adoption, but--Well, we had planned to before Victoria--anyway, Diego's been so hurt, and I've been worried about him, and--"

Alejandro squeezed him, telling him silently that it was all right.  "I understand.  Why you didn't tell me sooner, you'll have to explain later."  He gently pushed Felipe away, still holding onto his arms.  "I'm going to the _pueblo_ to talk to Victoria.  I don't know what is going on, but I plan to find out what she's been thinking!  I want you to stay here and watch after Diego.  You don't need to stay outside his door," Alejandro told him, knowing that the boy would sit there anyway.  Felipe nodded, and Alejandro quickly walked out his _hacienda_, his shoulders squared and his step a march.  He had a mission.

***

He spotted her immediately upon arriving in the plaza.  She was standing on the tavern's porch, staring at the _alcalde_'s office.  Tying up his horse, he walked over to her.  "Victoria," was all he said.

She jumped, obviously so lost in thought, she hadn't seen him approach.  He watched as she took in a deep breath and turned to look at him.  She wore a bland smile, the one she used to deal with customers every day.  When she was fifteen years old, he sat many days watching her learn to give it without thought.    "_Don_ Alejandro," she greeted him politely.  "Isabel is working today, so you can go on inside.  We have a new dish by Men--"

"I'm not here to eat!" he hissed in frustration.  "I'm here to talk to you, and I would prefer that to be in private."

Fear flashed in Victoria's eyes.  She was afraid of him?  Had their friendship of the past been so shallow that she did not trust him not to hurt her?  No, Alejandro refused to accept that idea.  She trusted him, but she afraid.  That he would find out the truth?  

She turned and looked back at the _alcalde_'s office.  Her hands grasped the porch post, and Alejandro saw that they were white.  "I'm afraid that I'm busy," she said with a wave of her head.

"Doing what?  Waiting for the _alcalde_?" Alejandro asked, barely able to control his anger.  She had hurt his son, and he was going to find out why.

"No, waiting for Mendoza," she snapped.  She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.  "He's asking the _alcalde_'s permission."

He glanced over at the green door and then back to Victoria.  "Permission for what?" he asked, curious despite himself.

She turned and gave him a bright smile, so false it hurt Alejandro's teeth just to look at it.  "To marry," she answered him simply.

So, he found himself distracted from his task after all.  "To marry?  Mendoza is getting married?  To whom?"  Did everyone in Los Angeles have secrets hidden away from him?

"Why to me," she said with a false laugh.  _When did Victoria lose all of her honest emotions?_ he wondered, before realizing what she said.

He found himself unable to react.  Too much had been revealed to him today.  He could not feel any more emotions.  There had been too many traumas earlier for him to feel anything at her startling announcement.

So, he stood absolutely still for a moment.  Then, he realized he was wrong.  He could feel.  A white-hot rage flared brightly within him.  He might love Victoria, but right now, he did not like her much.  She kept compounding her own problems.  Whatever the issues were between her and Diego, she was making them worse every day.  Soon, they would be unable to work through them, but then she seemed to be working to make it harder!

Crossing his arms so he could not shake her, he leaned close where no one else could overhear what he was saying.  His anger was so intense he whispered, because yelling would give his rage an outlet, and he wanted to stay furious.  "What that the hell do you think you are doing?" he managed to spit out, his turbulent emotions making it hard to speak.  He heard Elena's voice in the back of his mind chiding him; as angry as he was, he was nonetheless talking to a lady.

Victoria backed away from him, crossing her own arms.  "I'm getting married," she said, her voice remarkably steady.  However, the way she held herself reminded him of a spoilt child, confident that she knew far more than the parents.  He remembered her wearing that same look when she was nine years old, right before she broke her arm by falling out of a tree.

"To Mendoza?  You don't love him," he retorted confidently.  While the sergeant had many fine qualities, they were the kind that would attract Victoria's friendship and not her fancy.  

She turned away from, looking again towards the _alcalde_'s office door.  "I never said I did--to him or to you," she confessed.  Even as angry as he was, _Don _Alejandro's heart went out for her.  If he were not between her and his son, he would reach out to her and insist that she let him hug her.  He knew her dreams for love in her marriage.

"You love my son."  The words tripped over his tongue.  How odd to hear them, let alone say them.  Never in his wildest dreams had he dared to hope that Diego and Victoria might find love together.

Victoria turned to look at him.  She trembled and her face paled.  "W-what d-do--"

"I know, Victoria," he said softly, feeling as if he was in the confessional booth with Padre Benitez.  "I _know_ who he is, and I _know_ what happened last night."

Victoria hugged herself, her eyes focused on something _Don _Alejandro could not see.  Finally, she again looked at him, but her face was like marble--smooth and hard.  "It just happened."

Alejandro stepped off the porch and walked in front of her.  Looking her dead in the eyes, he said,  "You forget, Victoria, how well I know you.  I may not understand what's going on here, but I do know you.  You aren't made that way.  If you were, you could have made a fortune years ago by doing what some thought you provided with a room."  Victoria flinched at the cruelty of his words.

He shook his head and held his hand out as a silent apology.  "You love my son, and you wanted to be with him.  I can understand that, Victoria, but I can't understand why you keep pushing him away, or why you want to do something so stupid as to marry Mendoza.  See, Diego is hurting too much to notice your pain, but I've seen it, my dear.  I've watched you waste away more every day since you made your glorious 'decision'.  For the first time in your life, Victoria, you lied to me that day, and you've continued to lie every day since to cover it."  He took a step closer.  "I want to know why, Victoria.  Can you not at least tell me why?"

He saw something flash across Victoria's face, but she quickly hid it behind the marble mask.  Sticking out her chin, and holding her arms even tighter across herself, she snapped, "I owe you no explanations!  I don't want to marry Diego, and I won't.  I returned _Doña _Elena's ring, and that's all you need to know.  Now, if you will excuse me, _Don_ Alejandro, my fiancé just walked out the door, and I would like to go speak to him."  She was a blur to him as she raced pass.

His heart bleeding inside, Alejandro watched her rush across the plaza to where Mendoza stood.  She tossed herself into his arms, hugging him close.  Watching Mendoza struggle to handle Victoria's overwrought emotions, he understood his son's earlier confession of confusion.  Victoria had tried to act calm and then angry, but his bones told him that both emotions were bogus.  She hugged Mendoza like a person desperate for comfort.  

He sighed and closed his eyes.  Unfortunately, he did know Victoria very well, and when the lovely _señorita_ made a decision, she carried it out, no matter what the cost to herself.  She was going to destroy herself and Diego with this ridiculous marriage.    

Alejandro turned and reluctantly mounted his horse, feeling years older than he had when he dismounted.  He would be unable to say or do anything to change Victoria's mind, and as much as he wished it for Diego, he wanted Victoria to have a marriage of love and laughter, too.  He prayed that his son, upon hearing the distressing news of today, would not decide to marry Maria.  If he did, she would only be another victim of the tragedy playing itself out in front of his eyes.


	12. Felipe Gets Hurt

Felipe sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror

Felipe sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror.  His appearance showed a confident young _caballero_, and he was beginning to feel comfortable in his new clothes.  He should be excited, but instead he was worried.  His father had not returned, yet, and Felipe worried that maybe something had happened to him.

He shivered when remembered the look on Diego's face when _Don_ Alejandro gently told him the news.  He simply stood in the library, looking all the world like a statue, unmoving and expressionless.  Then, he turned and walked away without a word.  Before _Don _Alejandro knew, Felipe might have accepted the reaction without worrying, because his father had learned a lot about self-control.

However, _Don _Alejandro did know now.  Diego was being himself, so that made the total lack of response truly frightening to Felipe.  His family was a passionate bunch, their emotions always honest and quickly shared with others.  Diego's refusal to explode or grieve told Felipe just how deep his father had been hurt by the news.

Felipe walked into the den, and signed that he was leaving. He would only talk around the _hacienda_ when no one else could possibly hear.  _Don_ Alejandro encouraged him to let others know, but he shied away from the idea for two reasons.  One, he feared endanger Diego's secret if others found out his, and the fear that other people might treat him differently had stayed with him some over the years. 

His grandfather nodded his approval and told him to be carefully. Felipe waved good-bye to _Don_ Vicente and Maria, who were sitting down across from _Don _Alejandro, and walked out the front door.

He headed straight to the padlock holding his new stallion.  His new father had decided, just before the adoption was complete, that his young charge needed a new horse, a horse with spirit and speed.  So, he had given the surprised and touched young man the horse Esprit, a remarkable animal.  He was smarter than most horses, almost as smart as Toronado, and he was fast.  The _vaqueros_ joked that the horse ran so fast, it looked like a ghost.

Focused on his beautiful horse, Felipe was startled when _Don_ Armando walked out of the padlock.  He had almost forgotten that the man was coming for a visit today, but hoped his presence would cheer up his father and grandfather.  Patting the great stallion's neck, he returned _Don _Armando's beaming smile.  "_Hola_, Felipe!  I was just looking at this magnificent animal of yours!  What an incredible piece of horseflesh!"  He laughed.  "But, then, he is the stallion of a de la Vega."

Grinning and blushing, Felipe nodded proudly.  _Don_ Alejandro at first feared that Esprit might be too much of a horse for Felipe, but Diego insisted his son could handle him.  After all, Diego knew Felipe's skill, having had the boy's help training Toronado.  Besides, Felipe often rode Zorro's great, black stallion, the fastest horse in the territory.  But his grandfather had not been aware of those facts then, so he worried.  Pride soon replaced concern when he saw for himself Felipe's skills, and he loudly told everyone that his grandson had inherited _his_ skills in the saddle.  Laughing, Diego had agreed.

A little boy, maybe five years of age, ran up to _Don_ Armando, who bent down to rub his hair.  "There you are!  I was wondering where you had run off to, my boy."  Felipe thought the man sounded remarkably like _Don_ Alejandro.  The family friend and lawyer looked up at Felipe and introduced his grandson Dante.  The newest de la Vega could hear the love and pride in _Don_ Armando's voice, and again thought of how much the man sounded like his own grandfather.  All of _Don_ Armando's family was important to him.  It was one of many characteristics he shared with _Don_ Alejandro.

"I need to go in and see your grandfather," _Don_ Armando explained to Felipe.  Looking down at the little boy holding tightly to his leg, he said, "I'm going inside now.  You can play out here if you want, but you must stay in the garden."  Dante, thumb in his mouth, nodded and let go of his grandfather.  

"I'll see you later, Felipe.  Your grandfather told me at your adoption _fiesta_ that you were courting a local _señorita_--every day," he teased, causing Felipe's face to turn bright red.  Even his ears burned.  His courtship of Ángela was the talk of the _hacienda_ and the _pueblo_.  Everyone teased both of the young people since adults seemed to find young love amusing.

Felipe opened the padlock and led Esprit out into the field.  Getting in his saddle to ride away, he noticed the longing on Dante's little face.  Those large, soulful eyes told Felipe the boy wanted a ride.  He thought of his beautiful Ángela, and how much he wanted to see her, but then he remembered how it was to be young.  Diego, before leaving for Spain, had often taken him on rides across the plains.  Reaching down, he offered his hand.  It would only take a moment to gallop Dante across the _hacienda's _front garden, and then he could visit his Ángela.  She would understand; after all, he saw everything she did for her younger brothers and sisters.  

Dante grinned excitedly, and let Felipe pull him up into the saddle.  Loosely holding his arms around the boy, Felipe grasped the reins.  Then, he started riding the boy on the road.  He began slowly at first, letting the boy get use to Esprit.  After a couple of laps, he urged Esprit into a gallop.  

Suddenly, the saddle shifted underneath him.  Dante cried out in fear, and Felipe tightly wrapped his arms around the boy.  Remembering everything his father had drilled into his head, he twisted his body so his shoulder and back would receive most of the impact.  The ground rushed up towards him, and pain shot through his entire body.  He heard Dante begin screaming and crying, and the sound echoed across the California plains.

***

As darkness began to fall, Diego walked through the secret entrance into the _hacienda_.  His tired muscles relaxed in the warm, quiet embrace of his home.  He had spent the last three days riding Toronado in the wilderness and camping out beside the restless ocean.

Hopefully, for their sake, he would not run into any of the servants this late.  Dinner should have been served over an hour ago, so many of them would be in their own homes.  If he did stumble across one staying late, he could only hope he did not frighten him too much.

He scratched the three day's worth of beard, knowing he looked as rough as any bandit could.  His scent was no better; DeSoto would smell Zorro coming for miles if he usually let himself go this way.

Even though he looked tattered, emotionally he felt calmer than he had in weeks.  The time spent alone allowed him to grieve for what was not to be.  Being surrounded by the beauty of the land was a balm to his soul.  Nights spent beside the ocean, watching the orange glow of the fire reflect from the breaking waves, filled him with peace.  Victoria was right; this place, this land, did speak to him.

Diego sighed, wondering when the day would come where he would not think of her for more than a few minutes.  Then, his heart asked when the day would come where just the thought of her would not cause pain to rip through his soul.  He was afraid he already knew the answer--never.  He glanced in his father's study and noticed it was empty.  Odd, he would expect to find _Don _Alejandro at work on his accounts right now.  Felipe he did not bother to look for--after all, the beautiful Ángela captured not only the young man's heart but his afternoons as well.

Walking towards his room, thinking about heating some bath water, he heard his father and Doctor Hernandez talking.  His heart quickened in fear, remembering too many conversations between the two men outside of sick lady's bedroom door.  Only now, their voices were coming from Felipe's room.  He raced down the hall.  

When he slid into the room, _Don_ Alejandro and Doctor Hernandez looked over at him, startled by his entrance as well as his appearance.  Felipe, lying in the bed, managed a smile of greeting, but Diego knew that his son was in pain.  "What happened?" he demanded, his teeth clinched tightly together as he focused his attention on Felipe.  Carefully, he sat down on the edge of the bed, not wanting to jostle the boy.

"Felipe had a slight riding accident," Doctor Hernandez explained calmly.  A small part of Diego's mind teased: after all, it said, he's used to dealing with distraught parents.

Diego found it hard to believe, knowing how good and how careful a rider Felipe was, that his son had managed to get hurt. His asked Felipe a silent question with his face, and Felipe, his face twisted in guilt, nodded.  "My grandson is blaming himself, but he did everything that he could do.  The cinch strap broke," _Don_ Alejandro explained the look before Diego had a chance to ask his son about it.

Diego glanced at his father, but then looked back at Felipe.  "That's surprising.  Miguel maintains our equipment as if it were his own, and he's so protective of Felipe."  Diego shook his head and laid his hand on Felipe's shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance.  "Accidents do happen."

Alejandro walked over to stand by Diego's shoulder.  "Miguel thought the saddle looked safe when he put it on Esprit, and it really bothered him, Diego, to see that strap.  He's competing with Felipe on whom can feel the most at fault."

Diego looked at his son, a grin on his face.  "Why are you are feeling so guilty?  We've all had accidents.  Why, even Father has fallen from his horse once."

Alejandro grumbled, "You didn't have to bring _that_ up, Diego!"  It amused Diego that his father blushed lightly at the memory.  "Felipe is feeling bad because little Dante was hurt, too."

"Dante?"  Diego's eyebrows twisted as he thought about the name.  "_Don_ Armando's grandson?"

"Yes, Felipe was giving him a ride when the saddle broke."  Alejandro sighed, revealing to Diego how tired the man actually was.  He probably had already spent a lot of energy worrying about him, and now he had to fret about his grandson, too.  "Armando was upset; you know how protective he is of his grandchildren." 

Diego nodded, feeling sad for Felipe.  He took his responsibilities seriously, as Diego did.  Alejandro continued to explain the day's events.  "Felipe kept the boy from getting anything more than a bruise, since he turned them so he took the fall, and Dante fell on top of him.  The little one was more scared than anything.  Felipe's very fortunate that he decided to take Dante for that ride.  He was supposed to be riding over to see Ángela." 

Diego exhaled quickly at the thought, and then gave a quick prayer of gratitude for the angels watching over Felipe.  "He could have been killed if he had been riding over there."

Alejandro, hearing his pain, laid a comforting hand on Diego's shoulder.  "The terrain is rough on the way over to her father's _hacienda_, but Felipe is a good rider." 

Diego shook his head, trying to get the grisly images of what might have happened out of his mind.  "He would have at least been badly hurt, Father."  Diego turned to look at the silent doctor.  "What are his injuries right now, Doctor?  How badly is he hurt?"  He looked fine, but Diego wanted to make sure.  He remembered well how he felt after falling off of Toronado's back, and there had only been a small bump on his head.

"I was just checking back in on him, _Don_ Diego.  More than a few bruises that will probably hurt for a while, and his shoulder was dislocated."  Diego winced in sympathy at the doctor's words.  Having had it happen once to him, he knew how painful Felipe's shoulder was at the moment.  "I was just telling your father that he should rest in bed for the remainder of the day.  He can get up in the morning, but he'll be sore," he warned, smiling fondly at the injured young man.

Relieved, Diego stood to shake Hernandez's hand.  "Get some sleep," he told Felipe.  "I'll check in on you later."   His son nodded as if he expected nothing else.  Then, he rubbed his cheeks, a gesture Diego understood immediately.  "Yes, I'll make sure I'm presentable when I do," he said in amusement.  The relief in Felipe's eyes was obvious to see.  He knew his son worried about him, and he wanted reassure him that he would be fine.  

"Thank you for looking after him," he said as he escorted the doctor to the door.  

_Don _Alejandro followed them outside to the porch.  They both waved as Doctor Hernandez rode away in his carriage.  "Diego," Alejandro said as Diego turned to re-enter the _hacienda_.  He stopped, surprised by the tone of Alejandro's voice.  "I didn't want to mention it in front of Doctor Hernandez or Felipe, but Diego--" The old _don _shook his head, as if not believing what he was about to say.  "Diego, I've never seen a strap break that way.  It looks--Well, it almost looks like it was burnt."

Diego looked at his father's face and saw something there frightened him.  He knew _Don _Alejandro well enough to know the man did not scare easily.  "Where is it?" he demanded, focusing on the task before him.  

Alejandro jerked his head towards the _hacienda's _door.  "I had Miguel take it into my bedroom.  I wanted you to see it."

Diego quickly walked to his father's bedroom, and over to the saddle sitting next to the window.  He lifted the strap and bent down to look at it.  His father was right.  Next to the break, the leather was brittle and discolored.  "This does look like it was burned," he agreed, speaking more to himself than to his father.  "Not by fire, though," he whispered, rubbing his fingers over the roughness.

"What?" His father's voice reminded him of the man's presence in the room.

Diego, squatting down in front of the piece of equipment, looked back and up at his father.  "It looks like it was eaten away by an acid, a chemical that eats away at materials."  His father's brow twisted in confusion, echoing the look on Diego's face.

"An acid?  A chemical?"  Alejandro's tongue twisted on the strange word.  "Diego, there is nothing like that in the stables!"

"I know," Diego said, again staring at the broken strap.  "I know."  It was almost as if someone had deliberately weakened the strap.  _A ridiculous thought_, he tried to reassure himself.  After all, who would want to hurt Felipe?


	13. Felipe Wonders About The Truth

"Diego," Maria began hesitantly, as they walked around her father's garden, trying to regain his attention

"Diego," Maria began hesitantly, as they walked around her father's garden, trying to regain his attention.  He smiled down at the _señorita_, knowing he had not been the best of companions today.  His mind was busy elsewhere, jumping back and forth from thoughts about Felipe's accident of two days before, or Victoria's wedding to Mendoza, which was to be held the following day.  

As a friend, he wanted to be able to wish them joy, but he knew he could not.  His pain was too raw.  _Don _Alejandro had already offered to make his excuses, if he decided not to go to the celebration.  Diego was torn by the decision.  If he went, it would tear him apart to watch Victoria walk up the isle to another man's arms, but if he did not, her marriage would never seem real to him.

"What is it, Maria?  You don't need to be nervous with me," he told her.  She really was a good friend.  Diego was glad that she and her father had moved to Los Angeles.  The de la Vegas had many friends, but few were allowed too close.  Because of Zorro, he had distanced himself from many people.  Fortunately, he could allow Maria close.  Their mutual love of science and learning kept him from worrying about accidentally revealing too much about himself.  

"I know," she said, taking a deep breath.  "It's just that what I'm about to do, just isn't done."  Diego grinned when she giggled nervously.

Diego asked with a gesture if she would care to sit.  She nodded gratefully and sank into one of the wooden chairs that lined their garden.  Sitting next to her, he wondering what she was going to ask.  Used to the outspoken Maria, he felt uneasy around this nervous, shaky creature.

"Diego, Victoria's wedding has made me think," Maria began.  A small flinch coursed its way through Diego's body.  "I very much want a family, but there aren't many men who appreciate an intelligent woman."  Diego barely repressed a sigh, knowing that although his intentions towards her needed to be discussed, he did not want to so today.  Victoria's wedding, an emotional drain for him in so many different ways, had made him think, too.

"And I know Felipe is your heir, but--Well, his accident the other day reminded me how fragile life can be, Diego.  You're not married, and you do need other children, just in case something should happen to Felipe," she continued.  Diego knew she was not trying to be cruel by mentioning the possibility of Felipe's death, but his stomach knotted at the thought.

She sounded remarkably like _Don _Vicente had when he discussed the possibility of marriage between the two of them.  Diego wished she did not sound like she was trying to sell herself, telling of all of her advantages as a wife.  A wonderful lady like herself deserved a man who would sweep her off her feet and never let her go, someone very much unlike him.

Looking down at his feet, he gathered his thoughts.  Reminding himself of all the lessons ingrained in him about how a gentleman behaves, he squared his shoulders and looked her in the eyes.  "Maria, I'm honored.  I truly am.  I know what you are about to ask, and I'm afraid the answer's 'no,'" he said, hoping Maria would not take it badly, doubting she would.  After all, she saw him as a friend, too.  The way of her proposal showed the lack of love.  

She quickly looked away from him.  "You find me unattractive."

"Oh, no," Diego rushed to assure her, hating that he might have hurt her feelings.  "Maria, you are beautiful.  It's just that someone else took my heart a long time ago.  I've never gotten back, and I don't think I ever will."

Anger flash across her face, but it quickly returned to its usual smile.  "If you want my opinion, Diego, you should take it back.  Whoever has it apparently doesn't deserve it, or you'd have been married years ago."  He smiled at the passion in her voice; she reminded him of a cat protecting her young.

He squeezed Maria's hand, relieved that she now knew where he stood on marriage, and that she accepted his refusal so easily.  "Thank you, _Señorita_.  I'll keep your advice in mind," he said as he stood, but he knew Victoria would always own his heart.

***

Late into the night, he sat in the cave thinking about the wedding.  She was getting married tomorrow.  After she said the words, she would forever be lost to him.  As much as he loved her, he would never try dishonoring her or himself by offering her an affair.

He stared long and hard at the burning candle.  It was not until he heard Felipe's soft footsteps that he realized the taper had almost burnt completely to the bottom.  Shaking his head, he turned to look at his son, making sure to smile.  "I'm sorry, Felipe.  I was lost in thought; you know how I am.  I'm coming to bed right now."

The young man nodded and began to turn away from him.  Then, he looked over his shoulder to the dejected figure of his father.  Scratching his arm, he walked back to the table and stood in front of it.  Diego's eyebrow shot up, waiting for Felipe to speak.  "Are you going tomorrow?"

Diego sighed and leaned back in his chair.  "Yes, Felipe, I am.  I can't be anywhere else, although being there--"

When he did not continue speaking, Felipe said, "Good, I think."

Diego choked on his laughter.  "I don't know what to think either, Felipe."  Standing, he began pacing across the cave.  "I wonder about this marriage, and I wonder why she couldn't give me a chance."  He rubbed his hand through his hair.  "We are friends, just as she and Mendoza are."  Sad blue eyes met concerned brown ones.  "I could provide for her, Felipe.  I could take care of her."

He shrugged and walked over to Toronado.  Rubbing the stallion's neck gently, he admitted, "I would not even care--at least not much--that she did not love me, as long as she let me love her."

Silence filled the cave for several minutes.  Finally, Diego shook his head and walked over to beside his discarded seat.  "Maybe if she had found out another way--" 

He felt Felipe's watchful eyes.  Finally, his son said, "She was worried about you after you got shot by Mendez's man."

Diego spun in surprise.  "How do you know that?"

Felipe found his feet suddenly fascinating.  "It's why she came for wine that day.  She wanted to make sure you were all right."

Diego shook his head, unsure exactly what was being said.  "You--How do you know that?"

Felipe drug his foot across the floor in front of him.  "She didn't know I could hear, and she also--" Felipe shrugged.  "I know why she was here; she didn't hide it well."

Diego sank against the table, suddenly needing its support.  "You knew back then that she--"

Felipe nodded, answering the unfinished question.  "It would have only hurt you more to know."

"I had the right to know, Felipe," he said, his voice sounding as unsteady as his legs felt.

Felipe finally looked up, although he still managed to look like a sad puppy.  "I was trying to protect you."

Diego opened his mouth, and then closed it as he remembered the look on his father's face the day he revealed that he was Zorro.  He understood trying to protect his loved ones.  Sadness washed over him.

His voice was unsteady when he admitted, "Felipe, I've tried to be a good example, but I think--I know I've failed in some ways.  Promise me something?"  Felipe's thoughtful eyes met his.  "Don't believe you always know what's best for other people.  Don't hide behind any mask.  People have the right to the truth, and to know you."  Diego shook his head.  "Maybe if I told her years ago, she could have loved me."

Felipe walked in front of him, shaking his head.  "She's a fool for not."

Diego smiled gratefully and hugged his son close.

***

It was only a few hours later that the bright California sun rose in the sky.  The light breeze helped keep the day cool, and the wispy white clouds in the sky gave no hint of rain.  As for weather, it was a perfect day.

Inside her room, Victoria looked out the window, noticing all that was right about the day, but unable to enjoy it.  A perfect day for a wedding, but she was miserable.  She laughed, thinking about all the dreams she used to have about her wedding day.  Well, she had not dreamed of marrying Mendoza.  As a teenager girl, she saw a mysterious groom.  After Zorro dropped into her life, the dream became of a masked groom wearing all black.  For a short time, after she learned the truth, the fantasy had been of her walking into Diego's arms, the first daydream that felt totally right.

Victoria sat on the windowsill on her wedding day, full of guilt instead of joy.  Remorse ate at her because she was using Mendoza.  Yes, he would receive many advantages by marrying her, since he was marrying up in life.  Her income exceeded his by a large margin, so his life would be far easier, but he deserved a marriage of love, too.  

Leaning her head back on the hard wood, Victoria asked herself why she obsessed on such a strange idea.  Most people, including her parents, did not marry for love.  They had been fortunate to fall in love after the "I wills."  _Don_ Alejandro and _Doña_ Elena were probably the only exception in the entire _pueblo_, but even their marriage had been a good match in their parents' eyes.  Marriage was business, not romance, and she understood business.

However, she wished Mendoza would find a woman to love him for all the wonderful qualities he possessed.  He was not the smartest of men, but he was a wonderful, loving man.  He cared for the people of Los Angeles as much as anyone she knew, even _Don_ Alejandro.  His role as soldier often contradicted what he wanted to do, but usually, even though somewhat fearfully, he helped the citizens.  When he was lucky, he did so without the _alcalde_ finding out about it.  Sometimes, however, he felt the lashing from DeSoto's tongue for days afterwards, as well as the extra duty assigned to him.

Now, Mendoza was going to help her.  He would keep her away from Diego without even knowing it.  She was drawn to her unmasked man, and scared that she would not be able to stay away from him.  Running the tavern gave her a freedom no other woman had in the territory, an independence that even the married women envied.  After years of reveling in it, she was now frightened by it, so she was giving it up for marriage.

Watching the sun slowly climb closer to her wedding hour, she admitted that loved Diego and wanted him to be with her always.  However, he too would be married soon.  Until the other night, she thought that fact would keep her away from him, but she had learned a horrible truth about herself.  She wanted Diego, and his marriage would not deter that desire.  She feared that it would not stop Diego, either, if she confessed everything.  Both of them would be sinners for what they would do.  If she was married, though, especially to a friend, it would stop Diego and her both.  She could not hurt Mendoza that way, and Diego respected his friend too much to dishonor him.

Forcing herself away from the window, Victoria began filling her bath with warm water from the fireplace as tears fell from her eyes.  Soon, she would get into her wedding dress and walk over to that church.  Then, it would be time to march down the aisle to the wrong man, again.

***

Felipe, leaning against the wall, watched Diego getting dressed.  Even as a child, Diego never had such a hard time.  _The fact my hands are shaking has nothing to do with it_, Diego angrily mocked himself as he messed up his cravat yet again.  It refused to tie right until finally Felipe walked over and reached up to do it.  Diego stood still as his son, so new to the dress of a _caballero_, tied a perfect bow, even with his stiff shoulder.  

He tried to smile at his son, but it was hard.  Today was a day of torture for him.  He was getting dressed far earlier than he needed to, but he was too restless to sit.  Besides, he knew the way he felt.  If he did not get dressed now, he probably would never do so for her wedding.  He could avoid the pain altogether by not going, and something inside him would not have allowed him to miss the wedding so easily.  He needed to see it, to accept the truth, and then maybe he could go on with his life.

Felipe began walking out of the room.  As he had last night, he turned to look at his father and walked back to stand in front of him.  Diego again waited for him to speak, but the words this time felt like a kick in the stomach.  "You know, for a man of action, you didn't do much about Victoria."

Diego gasped, and tried to find the words to explain what he was feeling.  He thought that Felipe and his father understood.  "What was I to do?  I couldn't force her to love me."

"No, but I knew a man once that would have ridden his horse over there, grabbed her up onto the saddle, and taken her somewhere until he got an explanation," Felipe replied.  Diego shivered, as he thought of his earlier plans.  On that horrible day, he had a plan like Felipe said.  Then, _Don_ Vicente shared the horrible truth:  She did not love him.

"What is there to explain?  She doesn't love me," Diego replied.  He fought the tears that wanted to well in his eyes.  He did not want to talk about this right now.  Victoria was getting married--to another man--within hours.

"Grandfather and Mendoza don't believe it.  When I woke up this morning, I remembered everything we said last night, and I don't believe it, either.  She loves you; I saw it on her face, and I heard it in her voice when she rushed here to see if you were all right.  Seven years is too long for 'infatuation'."  Felipe shook his head.  "I just don't know why she's lying about it."

Diego looked at him, unable to understand Felipe could not accept the truth.  She did not love him.  "Victoria isn't the type of woman to lie, Felipe."

"No, Father, she isn't, and that is what's worrying me the most right now.  Why would she lie?"   Diego just shook his head, trying to hold the pain at bay, as Felipe put his hand on his shoulder.  "Father, think about it!  You taught me about logic and reasoning.  Victoria isn't the type of woman to marry a man she doesn't love, either.  Or do you really believe that she loves Mendoza?"  Felipe waited a heartbeat, letting the question echo in the mind of his father, before he walked out the room.  Diego sank down into the chair next to his bed, lost in thought.

***

Felipe held his breath as he walked out of the room, hoping his words would light the fire in Diego.  Scratching his arm, he remembered waking up that morning and the incredible fear that had struck him.  Everything was wrong, he realized.  Images of Victoria, both before and after her relationship with Zorro, raced through his mind, leading him to the realization that something terrible was taking place.

Like his father, he let hurt and anger cloud his judgment, but the conversation of last night gelled in his mind as his slept until the puzzle suddenly became clear.  Victoria was marrying her good friend Mendoza, the one man Diego would not discourage because of his own friendship with the kind Sergeant.  As different as daylight and dark, Diego and Mendoza both seemed to find something they needed in the other.  Their friendship was an oddity Felipe never tried to understand.

Victoria was marrying a friend.  The same woman who would not give her masked love a chance after finding out his was a friend now chose to marry a friend, a man she could never love.  Realizing that oddity was like someone took off the blindfold he was wearing, suddenly letting the light filter in so he could see the picture. He did not know what was wrong with Victoria, but he feared whatever it was.  Something was not right, and Diego was the only one who would be able to fix it.

Lost in thought, he bumped into his grandfather, who was walking back in from the garden carrying a beautiful bouquet of roses.  Felipe knew the day was difficult for the old _caballero_, too.  Besides worrying about the heart of his son, he was also anxious for Victoria.  Felipe could see it in his grandfather's stance and in the dark circles under his eyes.

_Don _Alejandro simply smiled and reassured him that it was all right; he understood about Felipe's mind being elsewhere.  His grandfather looked down at the beautiful flowers in his hands.  Gently caressing the yellow bulbs, he sighed.  Felipe knew where the man's thoughts were; they were on the lovely lady he would be escorting to her groom today.

Yesterday, Victoria sent his grandfather a curt note asking him to escort her down the isle.  Reading over it, _Don_ Alejandro shared with Felipe his belief that she did it only because Mendoza would expect it of her.  He briefly considered declining before deciding he would do it.  "She's like a daughter to me.  I might not agree with this marriage, but I'm not going to let it destroy our relationship, if I can help it.  I want her to know that I still consider her family, whether she likes it or not!"  

Alejandro looked up from the flowers and sadly smiled. "Would you mind, Felipe, taking these to Victoria?  I want her to have a beautiful bouquet when she walks down the isle."  

Felipe took the roses from his grandfather, gently stroking the soft pedals.  Maybe he could talk some sense into Victoria, or at least stall her from getting ready.  He heard Diego walk into the library, and if his instincts were correct, Zorro would soon ride.  At least Diego--and the rest of the de la Vegas--might have some answers after today, and would have the satisfaction of knowing that at least he tried.

***

In the plaza, Felipe carefully dismounted his horse.  The roses were beautiful, so he had taken his time riding to the _pueblo _in an effort to protect them.  He glanced around the plaza, expecting to see Zorro riding past, but he saw no signs of the masked hero.  Standing at the tavern's door, Felipe hoped he would show:  Diego needed to know the truth, and if the feeling in his gut was right, Victoria needed Zorro.

After several knocks, Victoria finally opened the door.  The strain on her face lessened when she saw who was standing at the door.  Her eyes immediately fell to the bundle in his hand.  He saw both sadness and relief cross her face.  He doubted his grandfather had thought about the memories his rose garden had for Victoria.  After all, he did not know about all the beautiful roses she had found on her pillow over the years.  All of them had been blood red though, instead of the color of friendship.

Victoria, wearing a sad smile, opened the door wide for him to enter.  It was still early, so she was in normal clothes, which he was relieved to see.  However, her hair was fixed, cascading around her face.  She reached for the flowers, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears.  "He shouldn't have!"  

Felipe followed her into the kitchen, practicing what he was going to say.  He needed to convince her to wait, to reconsider her decision to marry Mendoza.  Once she was married, she was married.  There could be no future for her and Diego.  Both of them would spend the rest of their lives miserable.

She carefully placed them in a vase of water, showing how truly touched she was by the unexpected gesture.  Victoria, unwilling to talk to _Don_ Alejandro, probably thought his agreement to escort her was born of pride or sheer stubbornness.  Now, watching her caress the bulbs, Felipe knew she understood it was done out of love instead.

He heard someone enter the kitchen behind, but he did not turn out of long habit.  He knew how to play deaf well.  When he saw a look of terror flash across Victoria's face, he began to spin around to see what could cause such a look.  "No!" Victoria screamed as a flash of black swung beside his face.  He heard his father's voice echoing in his head about the many uses of a pistol grip as he fell to the floor.  The world went black.


	14. The Truth Revealed At Last

Diego, now dressed as Zorro, cautiously crept along the roof of the tavern, an act he had performed hundreds of times

Diego, now dressed as Zorro, cautiously crept along the roof of the tavern, an act he had performed hundreds of times.  As he climbed, he continued the debate with himself.  He walked over the roof, careful not to draw any attention.  In the distance, he saw the de Corazon carriage leaving the _pueblo_, and he spotted his father and _Don_ Vicente dismounting in front of the church.  Just as he had with Victoria's near marriage to Juan, the _alcalde_ surrounded the Church with all of his lancers, waiting for Zorro to arrive.  It was only another reason why his trip to visit Victoria was ill advised.  Twisting his body to lower it, he told himself harshly that he should just accepted the truth.  His heart twisted at the thought of watching her walk up the aisle to another man.

Entering the kitchen window, Felipe's words echoed over and over in his mind.  Victoria was not the type of woman to marry without love and, to be truthful, there were more advantages for her to remain single.  She was wealthy and independent, unlike most women.  When she accepted his proposal, he had known what she would be sacrificing by marrying him.  Her eager willingness, even without knowing who was under the mask, had touched his heart.  It had been a remarkable show of trust on her part.  So, why was she marrying Mendoza?

He glanced around the kitchen, not really expecting to see her there.  A part of him wished that she were there, in the room of cherished memories.  His eyes rested on the fireplace, but not having the time to reminiscence, he forced himself to turn away.  He had to make new memories by abducting the woman he loved, and finding the answers to all those questions that plagued him.

He was walking towards the blanket-covered doorway, when he spotted a boot sticking out from behind a table.  He recognized it, having recently paid the large bill for the pair.  He rushed over to find his son knocked unconscious.  He picked him up by the shoulders and called his name.  Felipe moaned and then slowly blinked his eyes.  Zorro watched the confusion briefly cloud over the eyes before they became fully aware.  His son apparently would be all right, except for a headache.

"What happened?" he demanded, his voice rough with concern.

Moaning again, Felipe sat up straight, clutching his head.  "I brought Victoria her bouquet, and I heard someone come in behind me, and then Victoria saw who it was . . ."

"And--" Zorro prompted, impatient as well as worried.

"Fa--Zorro, I've never seen her look so frightened," Felipe confessed.  Zorro knew exactly how many life and death situations Felipe had seen Victoria in over the years.  "I turned to see who it was, and that's when they hit me."

Zorro looked around the kitchen for people long gone.  "Who hit you?  Where's Victoria?"

"I don't know!  I just got a brief glimpse, and I think--" Felipe stopped, shaking his head.  "It's _loco_.  I only caught a glimpse, and I'm not even sure--and there's no reason--"

"Who was it, Felipe?" Zorro demanded, fear beating hard in his heart.  Felipe's earlier words had been right:  Something was wrong, and Zorro feared it might be too late.

***

Outside the church, _Don _Vicente and _Don_ Alejandro talked about the wedding.  Even the jovial Vicente was even quieter than usual, having sensed his friend's distress.  "I think Mendoza is a good man," he said in an effort to comfort.  _Don _Alejandro appreciated the effort.  However, his friend was unaware of all the facts, and Alejandro was not free to share them.  He frowned at the thought.  Was what he felt right now how Diego had felt over the years?  Yearning to share a part of his life, but unable to out of fear?  Out of terror that the truth would only endanger those he loved?

"He is," Alejandro agreed, not wanting anyone to believe he might think otherwise.  Mendoza _was_ a good man.  However, Victoria loved his son.  "However, I know Victoria is not in love with him."

Vicente laughed at the words.  Putting his arm across _Don _Alejandro's shoulders, he said, "There aren't many people who marry for love, Alejandro!  Companionship, help, friendship--those are the reasons for marriage.  Love is for poets."

Alejandro looked at his friend, seeing the usual masked pain his eyes.  "You loved your Belinda."

_Don _Vicente looked away in the distance as he answered.  "I still do, Alejandro.  I just know that marriage is foremost a business.  I was blessed that my father chose an angel for me to marry."

Alejandro started to ask a question, one that had bothered him since he first heard about _Don _Vicente's marriage.  "Vicente, what hap--" He stopped speaking when his friend paled and stiffened.  He turned, seeing two women rushing towards them at an unseemly pace.  Their heavy skirts swirled around their ankles.  

One of them was Savannah, the de Corazon's housekeeper, but the other lady was unfamiliar to Alejandro.  Seeing the respect for her on Savannah's face, and taking in _Don _Vicente's response to her appearance, he thought he knew who she was.  Her pale skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes betrayed her English heritage.  Here was the little-discussed Belinda.

They stopped in front of his friend.  "Vicente!" Belinda whispered so passionately it was almost a yell.  "Where is Maria?"

_Don _Vicente, having begun to smile at her arrival, stiffened at the question.  "She isn't here, and you're not going to see her!  Savannah--"

"Vicente, she's doing it again!  Our daughter needs--" Belinda said in a rush, her voice sounding like beautiful music, even with the panic and fear in it.

"Our daughter needs a mother who loves her and trusts her--" his friend's voice was unusual harsh.  _Don _Alejandro's eyebrows shot up at the sound of it.

"Vicente, why won't you open your eyes?  Our daughter has not been the same since Salvadore died!  She's become--" Belinda continued to plead with her husband, and Alejandro wondered what they were talking about.  Maria was the reason their marriage had ended?  What problems could that pleasant young lady cause?

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw Felipe running over to him.  Turning to watch him, Alejandro was startled by his appearance.  Before leaving the _hacienda_, he had been unable to find his son or grandson.  Knowing how upsetting today was for Diego, he had assumed they had dressed and left early, but now Felipe's disheveled clothes revealed a different story.  The young man was wearing the clothes he wore to deliver the bouquet, and a small smear of blood stained his shirtsleeve.  From the trickle of blood on his temple, Alejandro could only assume he had wiped his arm across his face.

Immediately, Felipe started signing furiously.  _Don _Alejandro could understand that the "Z" stood for Zorro, but the rest were senseless hand-motions to him.  Diego always understood Felipe, no matter what the boy was trying to sign.  "I'm sorry, Felipe, but I don't understand.  Zorro?"

Felipe glanced at the now silent Vicente and Belinda, before taking a deep breath.  Alejandro heard Vicente gasp in surprise.  "Zorro went after Victoria.  She's been abducted!"

"What?" Alejandro exclaimed, briefly wondering if it were a plot of his son's.  Then, he realized Felipe would never have spoken if it had been so unimportant.  Victoria was in danger!

"Who?  Who would want to abduct Victoria?" he demanded.  He could hear his own fear. 

Felipe looked at _Don_ Vicente for a moment.  Biting his lip, he finally answered, "Maria."

"Maria!  What on--?"  

He heard Belinda whisper, "Oh, no, she's done it again."  

Whirling around to look at her, he demanded, "Done what again?"

Vicente was looking at his wife and Felipe both as if they were _loco_.  "She didn't do anything.  Even if what you thought about Antonio was true, all she sent him and his wife were threatening letters and black roses!  She never harmed or snatched them!"

Alejandro looked at his friend in amazement.  Maria had threatened someone?  Belinda's eyes never left her husband's face as he spoke.  Shaking her head sadly, she turned to face _Don _Alejandro.  "You are _Don_ Alejandro?"

"I am," he said impatiently.  He wanted to know exactly what kind of trouble Victoria--and his son--was in at the moment.  Itching to chase after them, he remembered the lessons learned as a soldier.  Information saves lives.

"My daughter's twin, our son, Salvadore, died almost a year ago.  He was killed, in a duel, over a la--No, a woman!  No lady would act--Anyway, Maria adored him, _Señor_.  She collapsed after he died, and never really was herself afterwards.  Then, she met Antonio Torres, a married man who happened to be a natural flatterer.  I knew not to take him serious, but Maria--" She shook her head and sighed.  "My daughter fell in love for the first time.  Only, it was not _right_.  Antonio and his wife started to receive strange letters, and Alicia started finding dried, black roses at her door.  One bunch had a poisonous spider in it!  It frightened her terribly," Belinda recited in a shaky voice.  Alejandro could see that it was difficult for her to say, especially with Vicente scowling at her.

Her eyes turned to look at the man she was married to, and a sad look crossed her face.  She returned her attention back to him, reminding him of a soldier doing his duty.  "Needless to say, it was the talk of the entire _pueblo_.  I even gossiped about it.  The strain on their marriage was horrible!"  She looked at the silent woman standing next to her, and then gasped her hand and squeezed.  "Then, Savannah came to me.  She told me that how she worried about Maria, that she was afraid _she_ was the one terrorizing the Torreses.  Maria kept cutting away at our rose garden, and she laughed so wickedly as she wrote letters.  I did _not_ want to believe her.  My daughter would not be so cruel.  She was a sweet, innocent child before Salvadore's death!"

_Don_ Alejandro saw the tears in her eye as she struggled to continue.  Her lips trembled as she spoke.  "But she wasn't anymore.  She was a malicious, horrid woman.  They caught her delivering the roses one day, and she insisted that someone else--a mysterious man--had given them to her to deliver, but by then everyone was suspicious of her behavior."  Shaking her head, she explained, "She was obsessed by Antonio.  By the end, he couldn't breath without tripping over her.  The constant _accidental _tripping Maria did into Alicia was beyond belief.  She even knocked her into a rose bush full of thorns once."

"You always believe everything your friends tell you!" Vicente snapped at her.  Sweat dripped from his red face.

"And you refused to look at any of the evidence!" she yelled back at him, unwilling to let him speak.  "You turned a blind eye to how our daughter was acting.  She wasn't herself!"

"She was grieving!"

Belinda stomped her foot hard, and the dry dirt from the plaza swirled around her feet.  Sighing angrily, she turned to look at _Don _Alejandro.  "I don't know why she would want to harm this Victoria, but I do know that she's become as obsessed by your son as she was by Antonio.  I came to Los Angeles because I feared for him."

A chill pass through the _caballero's_ body, and his horror was mirrored on Felipe's face.  "My son has loved Victoria for years." 

"I did not know that, and there is no reason to believe Maria knew it," Vicente began to protest.  Belinda nodded at her faithful servant, and Savanah held out a handful of letters to her patron.  He grabbed them from her hands with little care.  At first he scanned the pages quickly, angrily, but _Don _Alejandro saw the horror overcome him as he read the words.  He looked up to his wife.  "She didn't write these."  There was no conviction in his words anymore.

"Yes, she did, Vicente.  Savanah found them after you told her to clean that desk for your use this morning."  Belinda put her hand on Vicente's chest, as if trying to comfort the heart that beat within it.

"Madre de Dios!" He gasped in pain.  "It's true, isn't it?  Maria--my poor Maria."

Belinda took a step closer to her husband.  Both of them were crying as she said, "I knew you'd one day accept the truth."

"And come back to you, you said," he said, placing his hand on her cheek.  She nodded, looking up at him.

Alejandro turned to Felipe.  "Go tell Mendoza and the _alcalde_ what has happened.  I'm going after Maria and Victoria.  Maybe I can help Zorro," he said, struggling to hide his own fear.

"I'm going with you," his friends said hesitantly but with commitment.  Looking at the broken man, _Don _Alejandro thought of Gilberto, and his own hope that underneath the rage there was a good man.  He easily understood why Vicente had not wanted to believe such a horrible idea about his own daughter, just as _Don _Alejandro was unwilling to accept truths about both of his sons.  He nodded and smiled reassuringly at the man.  

Then, he turned to run to his horse, desperate to get to Diego.  He had to help.  Funny, his son could be fighting cutthroats at the moment, and he would not have been as concerned.  He knew Diego could handle bloodthirsty pirates, but he was not so sure he could fight an unstable woman whom he considered friend.

***

Zorro finally caught up with the women, having been forced to abandon Toronado at the bottom of the cliff.  His animal friend neighed in concern as Zorro climbed.  Somehow, Maria designed a pulley system for her and Victoria to use.  The scientist in him admired her skill, even as the man recoiled from the planning it indicated.

His heart in his throat, he pulled himself to the top.  However, his worse fears were not realized.  There stood Victoria, beautiful and frightened but unharmed, in front of him.  Unfortunately, Maria was closer to her and had a gun pointed at her chest.  Why would she want to hurt Victoria?

"I knew you would come," Maria said with an unnatural smile on her lips.  "You followed your heart."

That statement surprised Zorro.  In a way, it was true, but it sounded odd coming from her mouth.  Something about the way she said it . . .. Her voice was unsteady and shrill.

"I think you need to let the _señorita_ go," he said in his best Zorro voice, trying to frighten Maria into stopping this _loco_ game.  Why would she want to harm Victoria?  Trembling, Victoria mouthed for him to go, making him wonder if she knew more than he did.  One thing was certain; he was not leaving without Victoria.

"Oh, no, Diego," Maria said in a singsong voice causing Zorro to flinch.  She knew who he was?  "See, I thought the wedding would be enough.  After she was married, you would have married me, but then yesterday, you told me that I was wrong.  I knew you were right, just like always.  She has taken your heart, and we need to get it back.  I know you cannot hurt her, but I'm going to get your heart back for you, Diego."

The world tumbled into disarray.  She was going to kill Victoria!  So, he could love her.  The words they had said yesterday echoed in his brain.  "You should get it back . . .."

He felt weak, unable to act.  He did not know what to do.  Without thinking, he left his whip on Toronado, and he was too far away to use his sword.  He knew that if he took a step closer, Maria would fire that weapon.  Even a novice could hit at such close range, and he saw her practice one day; her aim was deadly accurate.

"Maria!"  He jumped, surprised by the addition of a booming voice into the tense situation.  Barely moving his eyes, he saw his father, _Don _Vicente, Savannah, and another woman approach Maria from behind.  They apparently knew where she was taking Victoria and rode here directly.

"Maria, what are you doing?  You can't just a kill a woman!" Vicente said to his daughter as he dismounted.  Everyone else remained on his or her horses, and even from the distance, he saw the tension in them.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill her, Father.  She's going to jump off the cliff," Maria said pleasantly, as if discussing a new dance.  "You weren't supposed to be here.  Diego and I were going to get his heart back, and then we were going to look at the pulley I designed.  I knew he would be impressed with it."  Diego recoiled at her words, unable to believe she could think he would discuss her scientific discoveries as they looked down at Victoria's broken body.

She continued to talk gaily.  "I think my little box could have some use one day.  Imagine, being raised to higher ground in a box on a pulley!  I knew Diego would admire it.  He enjoys science as much as a I do."

"Diego isn't here, Maria.  You need--"

Maria's laughter reminded him of an animal's.  "Are you blind, Father?  He's standing right next to me.  I admit that the costume is silly.  It's a total waste of his time, but don't worry.  After we are married, I'll get him to give it up."

"That's Zor--" Vicente broke off, startled by the thought.  He looked to _Don_ Alejandro for confirmation.  Zorro nodded at his father, and Vicente saw the gesture for what it was.  The surprise on his face would have been amusing at a different time.

Vicente wiped his hands on his pant legs and then continued to slowly approach his daughter.  "Maria, he loves her.  Even if she jumped, his heart would go with her.  My heart stayed with your mother.  Distance and death do not take love away!"  Holding out his hand, he pleaded.  "You know that's true, Maria.  You still love Salvadore.  His death didn't change that fact."

His words were a mistake.  They all saw it in the way Maria's chin snapped back and the way her face twisted.  "You're wrong!" she screamed.  "I hate him!  He died, and left me, and I hate him."

Zorro's muscles tensed as Maria smiled at the woman he loved.  "I'm sorry, Victoria.  I actually like you."  She began to pull the trigger.   Zorro heard someone yell, and he was not sure if it was him.  The shot echoed through the trees.

As the smoke cleared, Zorro remained frozen in fear.  Maria dropped the gun, and his heart started to beat again.  

"Papa?" Maria said in the voice of child.  She sank to her knees beside her father.  It was then Diego realized what had happened:  Vicente had jumped in front of Victoria, taking the bullet for her.

"Papa?" Maria said again.  Suddenly, the blonde woman jumped off her horse.  "Vicente!" she screamed, running to the injured man.  She stumbled to his side as Zorro rushed to hug Victoria.  His ladylove shook in his arms, and for a moment he feared she would break his ribs.  Alejandro and Savanah joined them within seconds.

"Papa, Papa, Papa," Maria said over and over.  She was rocking herself like a small child.  Tears streamed down her face.  Savanah sank to her knees beside the young girl, and _Don _Alejandro stood, shaking, over his friend.  

"I'm sorry, Baby," Vicente gasped, reaching a hand out to both the ladies in his life.  Zorro winced as he saw where the bullet had entered his stomach, realizing that Vicente was a dead man.  Medical science could do nothing, yet, for a man that had been gut shot.

"Vicente," the blonde woman whispered disbelieving.  Her skirt was becoming soaked with the blood draining from the man.  The _don_ raised his arm and caressed her face.  Zorro could see the love on the man's face.  The pale woman must be his wife Belinda, Maria's mother.

"You're leaving me," she gasped.

"I'm sorry.  I don't want to, my love.  Just when I got my sense back, too," he whispered, smiling despite the agony he was obviously feeling.

He hugged the distraught Maria to his side.  "I'm sorry," he whispered into her hair.  She just kept mumbling "papa".  "I'm sorry.  I let Salvadore down, and I swore I wouldn't let you down, too," he tried to explain to her.  Diego doubted she heard him, with her mind too lost to grief.

His wife, now sobbing, whispered, "You didn't let either one of them down.  You are a great father!"

"I know better," Vicente told her with a wry grin.  He gasped in pain; his breathing becoming more labored.  His eyes rested on his friend Alejandro and then to the two lovers holding each other.  "My stubbornness caused so much pain.  I'm so sorry," the dying man forced through trembling lips.  "I'm so sorry."

Zorro barely heard the approaching horses before they arrived.  He relaxed when he saw Mendoza and Felipe.  Mendoza jumped down from his horse and scampered over to where everyone stood around the dying man.  "_Madre de Dios_!  What happened?  Are you all right, Victoria?  The _alcalde_ said it was just a trick, but--"

Victoria pulled herself away from Zorro's chest, but remained in his arms.  "I'm fine, Mendoza," she said, shaken but regaining control.  _Don_ Vicente's blood was splattered across her face and clothes, and Diego saw a bruise forming where Maria had hit her earlier.

"I'm sorry," _Don_ Vicente gasped again, this time talking to Mendoza.  Victoria could see Mendoza also realized that the man was dying.  There was no way to help him, no way to even ease the pain.  "My daughter is not well."

"She was healthy enough to nab _Señorita_ Vict--" Mendoza looked around at the faces surrounding _Don_ Vicente.  Understanding dawned in Mendoza's eyes.  "Oh, I see.  I'm sorry.  She always seemed so nice."

"Oh, she was always a sweet child," Vicente told him, gasping desperately for breath.  His eyes were focused on his wife's face, even as he spoke to Mendoza.  "I'm afraid she realized a secret and her mind couldn't handle it."

Diego felt Victoria stiffen next to her.  _Don_ Alejandro looked down, stunned, at his friend.  None of them had considered the fact that _Don_ Vicente might want to turn in Diego.  Did he want some kind of revenge?

"She realized that _Don_ Diego is in love with _Señorita_ Victoria," he sighed instead.  His breathing was becoming shallower, and his eyes glassy.  

Mendoza simply nodded, as if being told the sun rose and set every day.  "_Sì_, he's been in love with her ever since he came home from Spain."  Diego barely kept his jaw from dropping open.  "I think Victoria is in love with him, too," Mendoza went on to confess.  Victoria's jaw did drop.

"You love _Don_ Diego?" Diego, dressed as Zorro, asked her.  He doubted Mendoza heard the fear in his voice, but his family and Victoria did he was sure.

Tears welled in her eyes, but her shaking stopped.  "Oh, yes, I love him very much."

"Then, why are you marrying Mendoza?" he asked, his voice rough.  Maybe he could finally have his answers.

"Because she's afraid," Mendoza answered for her.  "She was afraid Diego doesn't love her, and she was afraid of becoming a _caballero_'s wife."

Victoria looked at him oddly, as if wondering where he got such a ridiculous idea.  "I could see the fear on your face," he told her with a smile.  "I agreed to marry you because I was hoping Diego would get jealous and act, but I guess it didn't work.  I was sweating in my dress tunic in the church hoping he would show when Felipe ran up to tell me--Did you know that boy can talk?"

Victoria's laughter was choked, as if she were ashamed to have feelings of joy at such a sad time.  Diego understood the conflicting emotions running rampant in her; he felt them, too.  She hugged Mendoza close, and Diego realized he felt no jealousy.  To think of the two of them together was absurd!   

"Yes, I did," Victoria answered the sergeant's question.  She put her hand on Felipe's face, and Diego saw her silently ask for forgiveness, a request Felipe silently told her was unnecessary.  "He just brought me a message from Diego when Maria arrived."  Diego realized she was protecting him, giving him a reason for not being in Los Angeles.  "I didn't get a chance to send him a reply."

Then, she turned to look at the horror playing out beside her.  She sank down to her knees with tears streaming down her face.  She smiled at _Don_ Vicente, and he tried to return it.  The pain made his lips twist in agony instead.  "Thank you," Victoria whispered.

"Least I could do.  Marriage is for love," he mouthed back to her.  He gently kissed his shaking daughter's hair, and looked at his wife.  "I love you," he tried to say.  Belinda nodded, the tears drying on her face.  The shock of the shooting was beginning to numb her mind.  Leaning forward, she kissed her husband goodbye.  Wearing a smile, the big man faded away.


	15. Laughter and Love

Two months later, the sun rose on another wedding day

Two months later, the sun rose on another wedding day.  Rushing away in a panic hours before she needed to be ready, Victoria hysterically told herself she should be used to these days now.  It was after all her third such attempt.  Her hairbrush went flying through the air.

Victoria looked down at her hand, as if demanding it to explain its actions.  Shaking her head, she stood to go get the brush.  Unfortunately, it had rolled under her bed, so it took her a few tries to finally grasp the handle.  Huffing in frustration, she again sat in front of the looking glass and began brushing her hair, but slower this time, so the brush would not get away from her.

The rain beat down on the tavern's roof.  As she gently stroked her hair and listened to the warm, soothing beat of water, Victoria relaxed.  So, her hair would not do what she wanted it to do on this wet day.  She could leave it down and curled around her face.  Diego seemed to prefer it that way anyway.

Felipe appeared in the reflection, and she smiled.  Turning, her eyes took in her handsome soon-to-be son's appearance.  She giggled, and Felipe shot her a disgruntled look.  Then, he looked down at his soaked and mud-splattered clothes and laughed with her.

Proudly, he walked in the room, holding out a bouquet of roses.  Victoria's hands shook as she took them from him.  She did not bother to ask whose idea it was; she knew by looking at their secret message.  Bright yellow beautifully intermingled with blood-red pedals, just as friendship mixed so well with love.  "Thank you for bringing them, especially in this weather."

"_Da Nada_!  Father spent all that time out in the rain to get them; it was the least I could.  Besides, he's driving everybody _loco_."  Felipe's grin told her that he was not speaking too far from the truth.

Victoria giggled and inhaled the rich fragrance.  She asked herself again how she missed all the clues over the years.  The de la Vega garden had always reminded her of Zorro, and now she knew it was the scent running through her memory.

"I'm going to make him happy," she told Felipe.

He nodded.  "I know.  Father made sure I read all the fairy tales.  I know what happens when the princess marries the prince."

Victoria's lips trembled.  "Thank you," she said from the heart.

So, her hair would not do what she wanted, and the dress she loved the month before now looked hideous on her.  So, all her friends would have their best suits ruined with mud, and they would all be sitting in the church wet and miserable.  Today was simply perfect.

***

The sun shined long enough for Victoria and her helpers to get her to the church dry.  With some careful work, they managed to do it without a speck of mud splashing up on the hem of her crisp, white skirt.  She winced in sympathy when she saw the drenched _alcalde _and his lancers waiting for Zorro to show; she smiled as she thought about their man standing within a few feet of them.

Entering the beautiful building, Victoria felt the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.  _Don _Alejandro hugged her close.  "You are a beautiful bride, my dear."

Hands clutching the roses, Victoria thanked him.  "I hope Diego thinks so."

The man, who had been like a father to her for so many years, laughed.  "Are you joking?  Victoria, you could be wearing a sack cloth and covered in black soot, and he would think nothing more beautiful had ever walked this earth."

Victoria kissed him on the cheek, and he patted her hand before placing it in the crook of his arm.  "In just a few more steps, you are going to be my daughter.  I never allowed myself to even dream for this day."

As the music filled the church, Victoria thought about the few steps she was taking today to be Diego's wife.  Today's steps were really the final ones of many taken.  She entered the door with her escort and her eyes immediately rested on the man standing in the front.  Her eyes drank him in, barely noticing any of the people in the crowd.

However, she did notice Diego's cousin, Rafael, and his bride, Marguerita, who had made the long trip from Santa Barbara to see the wedding.  Marguerita and Victoria had been coolly polite to one another for the first day.  Then, Marguerita had laughed and said that neither one of them had captured the Fox, and were much happier with the men they had.   Victoria had laughed with the fun lady, but she could not help feeling a little smug.  After all, she had Zorro.  However, she was finding Marguerita to be a delightful friend.

Smiling, she took the first step to her future.

. . ."Victoria Escalante, your Mama and Papa told you not to follow us!"

She stuck her tongue out at the older boy, the son of her parent's friends.  She did not like him.  He always took Francisco and Ramón away from her.  She could always hear their laughter as they played, but she never was able to find them unless she followed them, as she had done today.

With all the determination her tiny nine-year old body could hold, she reached for the bottom limb.  Her arms protested as she used them to pull herself up into the tree.  Ignoring the boys' shouts, she pulled herself closer and closer to them.  Smiling proudly, she looked up at the frustrated boys and the branch beneath her feet cracked.  She barely had time to scream before hitting the ground.

Diego, pale and shaking, reached her first.  "Victoria!  Are you all right?"

Tears were in her eyes, but she refused to let the boys see her cry.  She nodded her head and started to sit up, but Diego stopped her.  He smiled reassuringly at her and said calmly, "You need to remain still, little one.  I believe your arm is broken."

Anger at him calling her "little one" flowed through her body, overtaking the pain.  She nodded and waited while the frightened Francisco and Ramón raced to get their parents and a doctor.

While they were gone, Diego told her stories of dragons and knights instead of the type of tales her Mama and Papa did.  They refused, telling her that they did not want to frighten their little girl, but Diego made sure to even re-enact some of the scenes he told her.  He treated her like one of the boys, and she found herself liking him.

When the doctor wrapped her arm tightly and explained how to take care of it, Diego told his father that she was very brave.  At that minute, she loved Diego de la Vega with all the passion her heart could hold.  All of the fruits he brought her while she was healing only convinced her that she was right to adore him.  She never told her parents that she had been climbing after the boys that day . . .

Another step.

. . . Her handsome dance partner swung her around the room, and Victoria felt like a princess.  Older now, she could appreciate the tales of romance just as much as she enjoyed the stories of dragons and knights.  She usually liked mixing them together.  Diego was the only person she had let read her story, and he told her it was excellent.

Looking up into his blue eyes, her fifteen-year old body trembled in excitement.  Finally, after all the hours of his patient training, she had the steps down perfectly.  It was her chance to show him what a wonderful wife she would make; she made sure her dress and hair were perfect before the dance.

"You look beautiful tonight, Victoria," he said softly, causing her heart to flutter.

"Thank you, _Señor_."  She tried hard not to blush, but failed.

As the dance started to end, Victoria asked a question that had bothered her all night.  "Why is your father so sad, Diego?"

Diego glanced over to where _Don_ Alejandro stood talking to a group of _caballeros_.  His eyes were sad, but he smiled when he looked down at her.  "You are very observant, _Señorita_."  Victoria smiled at the compliment, knowing that for Diego, there were fewer accolades that meant as much.  Diego shook his head.  "We had a discussion about something I want to do earlier, and Father is sad about it."

Victoria caught a glimpse of her family's friend as Diego spun her around.  "Why would he be sad about it?"

Diego just shook his head again.  "Tonight is tonight, Victoria.  It's supposed to be a night of fun.  He's just sad because I'm becoming a man now."  Then, he had bowed over her hand and kissed it.

Afterwards, he turned his attention to the lovely Magdalena.   With her dark hair and beautiful blue eyes, she had all the men in the _pueblo_ vying for her attention.  Victoria, her heart broken, received her first kiss that night, even if it had been from the wrong boy.

As she cried that night, she thought she had never experienced such pain.  However, _Don _Alejandro chose the next morning to share the news with her family.  His son would be leaving soon for Madrid; he wanted to attend the University.  Victoria cried again after his ship sailed . . .

One more step.

. . . She rushed around her tavern, filling orders, but her mind was two miles away at the de la Vega _hacienda_.  _Don _Alejandro had sent her a message that Diego's ship had arrived at port.  He would soon be home.

Her nerves were so taut she handled the soldiers badly.  She knew how to take care of customers, but today was not the day to challenge her.  One part of her mind cheered as the lemonade from the pitcher in her hand streamed over the lancer's stunned face.  The other part chided her for her lack of grace under fire.

Then, he stepped forward.  Standing behind his father, Diego only seemed to have gotten handsomer in Spain.  Gone was any sign of the boy she once knew.  In his place was a man.  He kissed her hand, and her heart beat quicker.  As they talked, she wondered if what she was feeling was just fondness for old memories, or if her heart actually beat that way for the Diego standing before her.

When the lancer grabbed her arm and tried to regain his manly courage, Diego had stepped forth.  Watching him then and a few minutes later in the plaza, ready to challenge the alcalde, Victoria believed she could fall in love with this man . . .

Another step closer.

. . . Then, she got herself thrown in jail.  It was not a pleasant experience, but her worry remained on the old _don_ thrown in with her.  She regretted getting him into trouble far more than she lamented getting herself.  _Don _Alejandro had helped her so much after her Papa left.

A masked man swooped in and stole her heart.  He called himself a fox, and Victoria worked hard to trap him.  Whispered endearments and quick kisses on the hand were the only signs she had that she might be able to capture his heart.  Finally, one night, she had thrown herself in his arms for a kiss.  After that, she knew she had his love, but his time and commitment were something different.  Then, he had dropped to his knees and asked her to marry him.  Even though extremely tired from the medicine, she eagerly answered yes.  As he slid that cool gold ring on her finger, she knew he was the one.  She told herself that the occasional thoughts about her childhood crush Diego had to stop . . . 

Her steps had her almost to him now.

. . . Even though she loved Zorro with a passion, her old feelings for Diego never completely left, no matter how many times she ordered them to do so.  Hearing him discuss another female made her fingers itch to slap him, and a lady who spent too long staring at the handsome _caballero_ would find herself being treated coolly by the tavern owner.

Maria de Corazon had been the first woman who made her stomach drop.  From the moment Diego brought her into the tavern, it was obvious that their relationship was different.  Listening to the two of them talk, she realized how incredibly intelligent Diego was, and this woman could give him something no one else in the territory could--a companion to debate.  He could talk to her in a way that he never could talk to the people of Los Angeles.  They would not even begin to understand.

Praying that Diego would not marry Maria and hating herself for wanting two different men to the point of selfishness, Victoria watched them closely each time they arrived at the _pueblo_.  Maria always tried to be friendly, but Victoria found it difficult to respond to such overtures.  After all, when she saw Maria she wanted to scream.  Memories of the beautiful Magdalena and how she had felt watching Diego court her overwhelmed her at times.  Sometimes, in the dead of night, she wished she could see Zorro, so she could remind herself why Diego was an old dream and Zorro was the new.

Then, two men began to become one.  The day had started like so many others.  Cooking and cleaning and then waiting on customers was all she had done.  Hearing Maria's laugh drift across the room, knowing whom the lovely _señorita _was with, made Victoria's blood boil and freeze at the same time.

Maria's eyes never left Diego, but his immediately found Victoria's.  She smiled at him and quickly walked over to where they sat down, anxious to talk to him for today.  There were not many days that passed in which Victoria did not get to say hello to _Don _Diego.  Maria's eyes were cool she noticed, but she paid little attention to it.

"Victoria, we have just been discussing the history of the _pueblo._  We've been to the Church and the _alcalde's _office looking at old records."  Diego glanced at Maria and smiled softly.  Victoria refused to admit how much her heart hurt at the sight.  "We've been at it all morning, so needless to say, we're starving for whatever you are serving for lunch!"

Victoria laughed.  "I think you will be quit pleased, _Don _Diego!"

He smiled at her and laughed, too.  "Good."  He knew exactly what her comment meant; she had fixed his favorite chicken dish.

"Did you learn anything interesting?"  Usually, after taking the orders, she left.  Today, though, she just wanted to stay closer to him.

Diego's eyes crinkled.  "Maria did."

"Yes," the other lady agreed, and Victoria reluctantly turned her attention to the pale female.  "I learnt that 'El _Pueblo_ de Nuestra Señora la Reina de Los Angeles de Poricuncula' is a ridiculously large name for such a tiny _pueblo_."  

"Well, there isn't actually anyone that goes around calling it the 'Village of Our Lady the Queen of the Angels of Poricuncula'," Diego told the pretty _señorita _sitting across from him.  

"Oh, I disagree.  All of the King's documents bear the name, so there is at least one person who calls Los Angeles by that ridiculous name," Victoria teased her friend.  Diego laughed loudly.

However, Maria frowned, taking her comment seriously.  "True, _Señorita _Victoria, but he doesn't live here, and _he_ doesn't write his own documents!"  Victoria barely kept herself from rolling her eyes in frustration at Maria's lack of a sense of humor.  Rubbing her damp palms on her skirt, she refused to admit that Maria made her nervous.  

"You are right, Maria," Diego quickly agreed, and Victoria resisted the urge to frown at him.  "That would get our tiny _pueblo_ renamed.  If he had to write out one envelope which bore that name, he would stop using it, too."  Maria did laugh at Diego's comments, and Victoria joined in before walking away to the kitchen.

Gathering two plates up into her hands, Victoria thought about Diego, about how relieved she was by how easy bantering with Diego was, and how much she worried about the unwanted desires plaguing her.  She wanted to consider Diego just a friend, and she wanted to be happy for him.  Reluctantly she admitted that Maria was a perfect choice for him.  They shared the same interests.  She was charming, and she adored him, even if Diego was oblivious to that fact.

Hearing someone enter her kitchen, Victoria turned to see who it was.  The smile left her face, and she took two steps back when she saw the malicious look on Maria's face.  "You don't deserve him," the pale woman said with a snarl on her lips.

Victoria shook her head, trying to get herself out of the strange nightmarish world she found herself in suddenly.  "Don't deserve whom?  I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Maria," she said calmly, carefully ladling out their food onto the plates in her shaking hands.

"Diego!  You don't deserve him!"

Victoria sighed, carefully putting the plates down in front of her.  She was busy trying to sort out her own feelings and did not have the patience to deal with Maria's jealousy.  "I'm afraid you misunderstood, Maria.  Diego and I are friends."  She smiled in an effort to reassure her.  

Maria's face remained twisted.  "Oh, please," her sarcastic words grated on Victoria's eardrums.  "The whole _pueblo_ talks about your courtship.  It is the love story of the people, they say."

Victoria almost laughed and then she noticed that Maria was serious.  She struggled to keep the anger out of her voice, but her hands remained clenched at her side.  "I am afraid that you have been misinformed, _Señorita_.  No one talks about Diego and me!  I am in love with Zorro!"

Maria's laugh was harsh and guttural.  "Don't treat me like an idiot!"

"I'm not," Victoria spit out, unable to control her anger any longer.  Maria was being hateful and petty, and Victoria had no patience for such behavior.  Perhaps the lovely _señorita_ wasn't so perfect for Diego after all.  Victoria refused to admit how much that thought relieved her.

"You don't know, do you?  You honestly don't know," Maria said, the anger gone from her voice.  In it's place were awe and triumph, and Victoria felt her legs tremble.  Maria sauntered closer to her, a large smile on her face.  She leaned her face close to Victoria's.  "I have a secret to share," she whispered and Victoria shivered.  "Diego.  Is.  Zorro."

Victoria took a step back, shaking her head violently.  "I'm not sure why you think that, but you are a fool to believe it.  Everyone in this _pueblo_ could tell you that Diego de la Vega is the least likely person to be Zorro."

Maria just laughed; the smiling happy _señorita _of earlier was back.  "So, you think Zorro would be the mostly likely person to be him?  Wouldn't that make it easy to capture him without the mask?  I bet even you could break some dishes, spill some grease, throw some flour on yourself, and claim that you are the world's worst cook, and people that didn't know any better would believe you!"  Victoria realized how true that statement was, and felt dread pool in her stomach.  "You don't deserve him.  You've had him for seven years, and you haven't even realized who he is.  It is so obvious.  Stay away from him!  You don't deserve him."  Waving pleasantly, Maria turned and bounced out of the room.

Victoria, shaking, sank against the table.  Her mind buzzed at the truth she suddenly knew . . .

The long trek was almost done now.  Step.

. . . "When I asked you what was wrong, you just said you had a headache," Diego said when she finished telling him about that day.

It was late the night of _Don _Vicente's death.  All of the de la Vega men refused to let her spend the night alone, insisting that she stay with them.  As she sat on the window still and watched the twilight, Diego sneaked into her room.  After they held each other and cried, they laid on Victoria's bed to talk.

Victoria shook her head.  "I don't even remember much after that.  I walked around numb and lost that day."

Diego's hand rubbed up and down her arm.  "I'm sorry you found out that way."

"It's I who is sorry."

Diego's hand stopped moving.  "Why?"

Victoria raised herself just enough to look into his eyes.  "I should have seen it years ago."

Diego lifted his hand to caress her face.  "No, you shouldn't have Victoria.  Father said the same thing.  Neither one of you should have seen it."

She looked down to his chest again.  "I thought he might not know, but I wasn't sure."

Diego's sigh was so soft she almost did not hear it.  "I'm afraid he didn't find out the best way either.  I told him after I returned from the tavern that morning."

Victoria did not ask what morning he meant.  She knew.  "I should have known."

Diego hugged her tight.  Whispering in her ear, he rubbed his hand soothingly across her back.  "Victoria, don't you remember the old saying?  Love is blind.  I didn't want you and Father to know.  I didn't want you to worry, and you both honored my request by not looking too close."

Victoria lay in his arms and remembered a little boy who told her stories of dragons to comfort her.  Was there any wonder she loved this man?

"Even then, after a night of thinking, I tried to deny it."  Shaking her head sadly, she sighed, "Until you came to rescue Juan and Carlos.  I rushed out to share with you what Maria told me."  She giggled.  "I was going to ask you if you thought I should warn Diego.  I rushed out that door and I froze, Diego.  Instead of Zorro sitting on Toronado, I saw Diego wearing a mask!  I looked around, expecting for everyone to see what I did, but they all watched you with the same usual expressions!"  She laughed somewhat hysterically.

"You did not act the same when I came into the kitchen that day," Diego whispered, his body tense beneath her.

Victoria reached up to softly kiss his lips.  "I'm sorry!  It had nothing to do with you being Diego!  Well, it did, but--I was confused, but when you kissed me, it was all the same.  You left, and I promised myself that I would come to this _hacienda_ and kiss my unmasked man until his toes curled in his boots."

"All of your kisses make my toes curl, _bella_, but I don't remember _Diego_ getting any kisses from you until after Felipe's adoption," he answered harshly.  She understood it came from fear and not anger. 

Victoria nodded and grasped his arms tighter.  "I put on my prettiest dress and brushed my hair until it gleamed!"  Silence filled the room for several heartbeats.  "Then, Maria came to pay me a visit."

Victoria shivered as she remembered the woman's words:  "I told you to stay away from him!  _You_ don't deserve him."

Victoria reluctantly looked up so Diego could see her face.  She did not try to hide the remembered fear.  "I told her that I had no plans to leave you alone, but she was--wild, Diego.  She warned me that if she couldn't have you, no one could."

"What do you mean?"  Diego asked, reaching over to pull the blanket across them.  Victoria's shivers slowed somewhat as the gentle warmth surrounded her.

"She said she would tell the _alcalde._  I knew he wouldn't believe at first, but it becomes so obvious after you know, my love."

Light kisses made a line across her face.  "So, you thought I should marry such a woman?"

She shook her head.  "I'm so sorry, my love, but I wasn't thinking.  I was terrified!"

"Why didn't you come to me?"

"Because I knew you would try to take care of it.  Diego, she knew your secret!"  Victoria clutched her hands tighter, trying to make him understand.  "You had no way of fighting her."

Diego shook his head, making gentle _shh_ing noises.  "You should have told me.  Being forewarned is forearmed."

Victoria sighed and slowly relaxed her taunt muscles.  "Perhaps, you are right.  When she came to me that day and demanded that I flirt with all the men at this party, I did.  'Be an actress,' she told me, and so I was.  Not a good one according to her, but I tried.  I lied to the world when I told it I didn't love you, because I knew I couldn't lie to you."

Reclining in his arms, she admitted, "I thought about talking to you later, but by then I convinced myself the evil I saw in her was my own imagination.  You squired her all around the _pueblo_, and she seemed to bring you comfort.  I thought she loved you, and I could understand that easily."

Victoria's voice was a bare whisper when she said, "I also thought she was right."

Diego's eyebrows creased.  "Right?  About what?"

"About me," the small figure in his arms admitted.  "I didn't deserve you."  She flinched in surprise at hearing the words coming from her mouth.  She never planned to share her doubts with him, but she was unable to hold anything back tonight.

"Victoria Escalante!  You doubt my love?"

Tears filled her eyes, and she angrily promised herself that tomorrow and every day after she would not cry again.  "Oh, I didn't doubt your love, Diego, but I thought I wasn't worthy of it."

He was silent for so long, Victoria feared he agreed with her.  Then, she felt the soft shaking in his chest and realized he was crying, too.  "Victoria Escalante, you are the bravest, most caring, most beautiful person in this entire _pueblo_.  How could you think that?"

Victoria kissed him in apology.  "You are so smart, Diego.  Maria was right about your intelligence!  All this years I've loved you, and I never saw who it was underneath the mask.  For some strange reason, I've always dreamed that when the mask was removed, it would reveal someone I barely knew.  I couldn't' believe that a man I saw almost every day was Zorro, because I would know he was without the mask.  I should have seen it, but I didn't."

He laughed softly, gently pulling his fingers through her hair.  "Who would have thought boring Diego was Zorro?"  Victoria could not find the words to explain what she meant; she had loved Diego de la Vega far longer than Zorro.  She should have known it was he beneath the mask.

"Do you think my father doesn't love me?" he continued.  "That he isn't an intelligent man?"

"Of course not," she protested, understanding what he was saying in the comparison.  However, her heart did not totally agree with him.  Over time, she was sure she would find it within herself to forgive her own ignorance, but not tonight.

"Victoria, remember what I said about love being blind?  You and Father love me--both as Diego and Zorro.  In the _pueblo,_ those that don't love and admire Zorro, fear him."  Diego sat up in the bed pulling her up with him.  He held her shoulders and looked deep into her eyes.  "Victoria, people have a habit of seeing what they want to see.  You and Father were emotionally involved in so many ways.  Your frustrations at my refusal to 'do anything' helped keep you blind to what I _was_ doing.  Besides, you and Father trusted me.  You never had a reason to even suspect that Diego de la Vega was lying to you almost every day."

"But Maria--" she began to protest, shaking her head.

"Maria was a scientist, trained to observe, and her emotions weren't clouding my identity.  She saw Zorro, whom she neither feared nor respected, for the first time within hours of meeting me as Diego.  Remember how she said Zorro was foolish and a stupid waste of my time."

Victoria laughed softly.  "She really couldn't see the good, could she?  And I never saw the truth."  She looked straight in the eyes when she told him:  "However, I've always loved both of you."

Diego drew her to him and began kissing her deeply.  Victoria felt herself being lowered to the bed, and Diego shifting to lie across her.  They both deepened the kiss for a moment, but then Diego drew back.  "I'm afraid that, if you want to take advantage of me again, you are going to have to marry me."

"You still want me?" Victoria's hands shook almost as much as her words.

Diego grinned wickedly at her.  "I think you know the answer to that question."

Victoria laughed, embarrassed by her silly doubt.  Two men totally merged into one for at the moment.  Her friend and her lover both were looking down at her.  "Well, I can tell that.  I was just asking if you still wanted me to marry you!"

"I've waited too many years as it is to call you mine, and I'm not ready to wait any longer."

Victoria understood his impatience; she wanted to call this man hers, too.  "Then, oh, yes, I'll marry you."

Diego shouted a sound of happiness and hugged her close.  He began to kiss her passionately again, and Victoria knew that he was going to let her take advantage of him after all, but they were startled out of their embrace by a knock on her door.  It was _Don _Alejandro.  He would spend a lot of time in the next two months interrupting the two of them . . .

The final step was done; she was here standing beside the man she wanted to marry.  She looked at the man proudly acting as her bridesmaid and grinned.  Thanks to Mendoza and Felipe she could marry this man today without putting him in any danger.  By the time Felipe finished leading Mendoza by prompts during his story, the sergeant was telling tales of Zorro's broken-hearted response on the cliff.  Within days, the stories were rampant about how everyone knew that Diego and Victoria were meant for one another.

Turning to look into his wonderful blue eyes, she smiled.  Then, she spared a second to glance at the proud young man standing next to his father.  She had wanted him to escort her up the aisle, but Diego said he would prefer Felipe standing next to him and receive her as his mother, and the excited young man had agreed with his father.  

As a child, she imagined herself crying on this day.  Most of the ladies she saw getting married seemed to do it, so she planned to sob as well as the rest.  However, turning to face _Padre _Benitez, Victoria's eyes were shinning with joy instead of tears.  Today was a day of rejoicing for her and Diego instead of anguish.

***

Victoria awoke to the sound of Diego's voice.  "I'm anxious to meet you, little one."

She giggled, shaking the man talking to her belly.  "I think we will have to wait a few months, my love."

He gently kissed her slightly rounded belly.  "I know, but his Papa is impatient."

She ran her fingers through his thick hair, loving him for being so wonderful.  He truly was a remarkable man in so many ways.  Oh, he was not perfect, but he was darn close in her opinion.  "Let me enjoy this for the next couple of months, and then I'm sure I'll be ready to for him or her to come out, too!"

Diego's silent laughter shook them both.  "I'm sure you will, but you have to wait a few months more."

"I know, and I must warn you:  He or she will not like 'little one'."

She felt Diego's lips curve into a smile.  Again, he softly kissed the smooth skin beneath him.  "It used to drive you _loco_."

She stiffened.  With mock anger in her voice, she demanded, "You knew and still called me that?"

"Only when I needed you to be angry, my love."  She felt Diego totally relax in her arms.  She knew it was the only place he would allow himself the luxury, and she cherished every time he showed her that trust and love.

Frowning, Victoria asked, "What do you mean?"

Diego sighed and shifted slightly.  "Like the day you broke your arm.  I needed you mad instead of in pain."

Remembering that wonderful day, Victoria smiled.  "It worked.  Too well probably."

"What do you mean?"

Smiling, Victoria kept caressing his hair.  Finally, she decided to share, "That's the day I feel in love with you."

Diego's sudden laughter shocked Victoria.  Sitting up, Diego gasped to catch his breath.  "That's the day I decided I was going to marry you," Diego said at his wife's odd look.  "Anyone that brave should be a de la Vega, I told myself."

Lying down, Diego gathered his wife in his arms.  Victoria noticed that his hands rested on the curve of her belly.  It was hard for her to believe, too.  A tiny part of them rested there.  _Don _Alejandro and Felipe's excitement were enough for everybody in the entire _pueblo_.

"Do you want to talk about it?"  

Victoria stiffened in her husband's arms.  After taking a few deep breaths, she relaxed.  "Not really."  Silence filled the room for almost half an hour.  Finally, "I cannot believe I almost let you marry that woman."

Diego sighed.  "Victoria, my love, you did not know.  Even _Doña _Belinda and Savanah did not know how truly ill she was."

Victoria remembered the sick horror she had felt after dinner when Diego read the letter.  Without a word, she had stiffly stood up and left the room.  She feared that Diego would follow her, but he had allowed her to have the time alone that she wanted.  She had known, even as she walked away from the de la Vega men, that he would not let the discussion drop easily.

"She almost killed Felipe."  Angry tears strained at Victoria's eyes, but she refused to let them fall.  She refused to cry about those months and that pain any longer.  "She almost killed him, because _she thought you would marry her if you didn't have an heir_."

Diego flinched at the words.  He had tried hard to hide his horror as he read aloud the message from Belinda sharing everything they had found out about Maria in Europe.  Her journal, along with her brother's recovered one, revealed that her illness had been a part of her for far longer than they suspected.  Salvador had hid many things, trying to protect her like the older brother he was.  However, it was her sometimes-odd ramblings that revealed the most to them.

"You didn't know, Victoria, anymore than I did!"

Victoria sighed and relaxed.  "I know that, Diego.  I really do."  Another sigh whispered through the air.  "I just get angry at myself sometimes for believing she could be the wife you needed."

Diego softly kissed her lips.  "I get angry at me for believing her act, too."

He started when Victoria laughed.  It held a note of sadness in it.  "Even knowing that someone was trying to hurt our son, Miguel, Felipe, and _Don _Armando will all still refuse to let go of their guilt."  Diego nodded, and she knew he was thinking the same thing she was.  Even though all three men had left the issue behind them somewhat, all of them took the blame for the accident.  Miguel said it was his fault for putting the bad saddle on in the first place.  Felipe took all the responsibility by claiming he should have checked his equipment before getting on the horse, and _Don_ Armando refused to believe the story about a broken belt and held himself liable for accidentally loosening it somehow when he looked at the stallion.

"I'm tired of people feeling they are at fault."

Victoria nodded, agreeing.  "It is time to move on, isn't it?  Maria is a part of the past now, and--" She put her hand on her stomach.  "We have a future to consider."

Diego hugged her tight.  Softly, he kissed her forehead, and Victoria recognized it for the goodnight kiss it was.  However, she had other plans.  "Oh, no, _Señor_, you are not going to sleep!"  She sat up and straddled him.  Smiling as she looked down at his startled face, she reminded him, "You said I could take advantage of you if I married you, and I'm planning to make sure you fulfill your agreement."

Diego laughed as he kissed her.  Her hair fell around his face, hiding out the rest of the world, she knew.  He stayed focused on her.  "I can meet and exceed your demands, I think, _Señora_!"

Victoria's laughter rang out and carried down the hall.  It reached the library where _Don _Alejandro and his grandson sat.  Both of them turned at the sound and smiled.  Joy could be a rare commodity in the territory.  Life was rough, and the _alcalde_'s cruelty dampened the spirits of the people living here.  However, Felipe's smile was huge, and _Don _Alejandro's own grin joined his.  Happiness was plentiful at the de la Vega _hacienda._


End file.
